Chapter 1: The Price of a Spare Heart

“If you die, just think of it as paying back the air you’ve wasted for twenty-three years.”

My mother’s voice was as cool as the sterilized tiles of the operating theater. She didn’t look at my face. Instead, her eyes were fixed on the surgical consent form in her hand, her thumb stroking the paper with a rhythmic, anxious twitch. She wasn’t worried about the needles that were about to pierce my skin; she was worried the ink wasn't dry enough on the legalities that would save her ‘precious’ son.

“Sign it, Elara,” my father added. He stood by the window, the harsh afternoon sun casting his shadow long and jagged across the floor. He smelled of expensive cedarwood and the metallic tang of the hospital. “Leo is the only heir this family has. You? You’re just a girl with a cursed mark and a debt to pay. This heart is the only thing you’ve ever possessed that is actually worth something.”

I looked down at my hands. They were trembling, the hospital gown—thin, scratchy, and smelling of industrial bleach—clinging to my damp skin. My fingers traced the small, raised ridge behind my ear. The rose birthmark. To me, it had always been a petal-shaped kiss of fate. To them, it was the mark of a thief—a reminder that I had remained safe while my twin sister, Elena, had been snatched away into the dark.

“I’ve already given him my kidney,” I whispered. My throat felt like it was lined with glass. The surgery from three weeks ago still throbbed, a dull, biting ache in my side every time I took a breath. “The doctor said I haven’t healed. If you take my heart, I won’t wake up.”

“Then don’t wake up,” my mother snapped, finally looking at me. There was no mistaking the vitriol in her eyes. “Elena is back now. We have our daughter. We don’t need the one who let her get kidnapped. Giving Leo your heart is the only way you’ll ever be equal to her sacrifice.”

The door to the private suite swung open with a soft whoosh of pressurized air. Elena walked in. She was draped in silk the color of cream, looking every bit the fragile survivor they believed her to be. She held a thermal flask in her hands, the steam smelling faintly of bitter herbs and something sickly sweet—the ‘special soup’ she made for Leo every morning.

“Is she being difficult again?” Elena asked, her voice a melodic pout. She walked over to my mother and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Mom, don’t be upset. Elara is just scared. She’s always been... sensitive. Even when we were kids, she’d cry for attention while I was the one actually hurting.”

I stared at her. I saw you run, Elena, I wanted to scream. I saw you slip out the gate because Mom didn't get you that doll. I tried to grab your hand and you pushed me into the dirt. But the words died in my chest, suffocated by years of being told my memories were lies.

“Sign it,” my father barked, stepping toward the bed. The floorboards didn't creak—this was a five-star medical wing—but the air seemed to vibrate with his impatience.

My hand moved. It wasn't because I wanted to die. It was the exhaustion. The bone-deep, soul-crushing fatigue of trying to be enough for people who saw me as an inventory of spare parts. I signed the paper. The scratching of the pen sounded like a death rattle in the quiet room.

The transition to the operating room was a blur of fluorescent lights passing overhead like cold, white ribs. Thump-swish, thump-swish. The wheels of the gurney rhythmically clicked against the metal dividers in the floor.

I was cold. So cold.

The nurses didn't speak to me. They spoke over me, discussing the logistics of the transplant as if I were a piece of equipment being decommissioned.

“Vitals are low,” one whispered.

“Doesn't matter,” the other replied. “The family gave the order. The recipient is already prepped in OR 4.”

Then came the mask. It smelled of chemical sleep and ending. As the darkness swirled at the edges of my vision, I saw a flash of movement near the viewing gallery. A man stood there. Tall, broad-shouldered, with eyes as dark and unforgiving as a winter sea.

John. My husband.

The man I had married three days ago in a ceremony where I stood alone next to his framed photograph. The most powerful man in the city, and he hadn't even bothered to show up to stop his new bride from being carved open. He just watched, his face a mask of granite.

You’re all the same, I thought as the anesthesia took hold. I hope this heart rots in his chest.

The last thing I heard was the steady, rhythmic beep... beep... beeeeeeeeeee—

Gasp.

——

My lungs expanded so violently it felt like they were tearing. I lunged upward, my spine snapping straight, my hands flying to my chest.

No pain.

There was no searing heat of a surgical saw. There was no bandage. My fingers met soft, unmarred skin and the fabric of a floral sundress I hadn't worn in years.

I was gasping for air, my vision swimming with spots of color. I wasn't in the cold, sterile OR. I was sitting on a velvet sofa. The air didn't smell like bleach; it smelled of expensive lilies and the buttery aroma of baking bread.

I looked at my hands. They were full. No IV bruises. No tremors of kidney failure.

“Elara? What are you doing sitting in the dark? Get up and help me with the crystal vases. Your sister will be here any minute.”

The voice hit me like a physical blow. I turned my head so fast my neck cracked.

My mother stood in the foyer. She looked younger—the lines of bitterness around her mouth hadn't quite deepened into permanent trenches yet. She was wearing her favorite navy blue shift dress, the one she wore the day the private investigators called with the news.

“Mom?” I rasped. My voice worked. It didn't sound like glass.

“Don't ‘Mom’ me with that voice,” she huffed, wiping a speck of dust off a mahogany side table. “I know you’re jealous. I know you’ve enjoyed being the only child these last few years, but Elena is coming home. You will be on your best behavior. You will not mention the kidnapping, and you will not make that ugly face you do when you’re seeking attention.”

I looked at the calendar on the wall.

June 14th.

The day of the return. I was twenty-three again. No—I was twenty-three, but the surgeries hadn't happened. My heart was beating a frantic, healthy rhythm against my ribs.