Mag-log in**JACKSON**"To new beginnings!"Dean raised his glass. Everyone else followed. Beer sloshing. Voices too loud.I lifted mine. Forced a smile. Drank.The whiskey burned going down. Good. I wanted it to burn."Can't believe you're actually doing this," Mike said. He was on his third beer. Maybe fourth. I'd lost count."Doing what?""Going back. After everything."After everything. Yeah. That about summed it up.The bar was packed. Friday night in Chicago. Everyone celebrating the weekend. The holidays. Life.I was celebrating leaving.Dean ordered another round. I didn't argue. Just kept drinking."Australia's lucky to have you back," someone said. One of the other golfers. I couldn't remember his name."Thanks.""You're going to kill it on that tour.""That's the plan."My phone sat on the table. Screen dark. Silent.I checked it anyway.Nothing.No calls. No texts. No Sloane.Three days. I was leaving in three days and she hadn't said a word.Not that I expected her to. Three weeks o
gl**SLOANE**"Get to Murphy's. Now."Peter's voice came through the phone sharp. Angry. The kind of angry he saved for when I was being particularly stupid."I can't.""Yes you can. You're getting in your car and you're driving here."I was already in my pajamas. Already settled on the couch with a blanket and Netflix I wasn't watching."Peter, I don't think...""He's leaving in five days, Sloane. FIVE DAYS. You have five days to fix this or you regret it for the rest of your life."My chest tightened. Five days. That's what Mike's text had said. December twentieth."What am I supposed to say to him?""I don't know. Start with sorry. Start with anything. Just get here.""He doesn't want to see me.""He's sitting in a bar alone looking miserable because of you. Pretty sure he wants to see you.""Then why hasn't he called?""Why haven't you?"I didn't have an answer for that.Peter's sigh came through the phone."Murphy's. Twenty minutes. If you're not here, I'm coming to drag you out m
**JACKSON**"You're really doing this."Caroline stood in my bedroom doorway. Watching me fold shirts into my suitcase."Yeah.""You're leaving in five days.""I know what day it is."She walked in. Sat on the edge of my bed. The one I hadn't slept in for weeks."Are you sure about this?"I kept folding. Blue shirt. Gray shirt. Black shirt. Everything looked the same."No.""Then why are you going?""Because there's nothing keeping me here.""That's not true."I stopped folding. Looked at her."She hasn't called. Hasn't texted. Hasn't even looked at me in three weeks. What am I supposed to do? Keep waiting forever?""She's scared.""So am I. Difference is I'm not running.""Aren't you?"The words hit harder than they should have.I shoved another shirt in the suitcase. Didn't bother folding it.Caroline picked up a photo frame from my nightstand. The one from Easter. Me and Sloane at her parents' house. Her laughing at something. My arm around her.We looked happy. We were happy."She
**SLOANE**"That'll be forty-three fifty."The cashier smiled at me. I didn't smile back. Just handed her my card.The sweater for my dad sat in the bag. Blue. Cashmere. Expensive. He'd never wear it.I didn't care. Shopping was something to do. Better than sitting in my apartment staring at Jackson's golf clubs.The mall was packed. Families. Couples. People who looked happy.I hated all of them.A woman bumped into me. Didn't apologize. Just kept walking with her boyfriend's hand in hers.They were laughing about something. His arm around her shoulders. Her leaning into him.I wanted to scream.Instead I walked to the next store. Bath and Body Works. Maya loved their candles.The smell hit me immediately. Cinnamon. Pine. All the Christmas scents.Last year I'd been here with Jackson. He'd made fun of every single candle."Who wants their house to smell like a fake tree?""People who don't have real trees.""Then get a real tree.""I live in an apartment.""So do I. Doesn't stop me."
**JACKSON**"You're not eating."My mum, Caroline set another plate in front of me. Turkey. Mashed potatoes. Stuffing. All of it looked like cardboard."I'm not hungry.""You're never hungry anymore."She sat across from me at her small dining table. Just the two of us. First Thanksgiving in years it'd been just us.First Thanksgiving without Sloane."Eat anyway," she said. "You're wasting away."I picked up my fork. Moved food around the plate. Put the fork down.My phone sat next to my napkin. Screen dark. Silent."Have you heard from her?" Caroline asked."No.""Have you tried calling?""She doesn't want to talk to me.""Did she say that?""She ran away from me at the diner. That's pretty clear."Caroline cut her turkey. Chewed slowly. The silence stretched."You know what today is?" she asked finally."Thanksgiving.""It's the first holiday you've missed. Since the pact."The pact. God. That felt like a lifetime ago.New Year's. Valentine's. Easter. Memorial Day. We'd done them al
**SLOANE**"You need to eat something."Maya stood in my doorway. Holding a bag from the Thai place down the street. The smell made my stomach turn."I'm not hungry.""You haven't been hungry in two weeks. Eat anyway."She pushed past me. Set the bag on my counter. Started unpacking containers like she owned the place.Pad Thai. Spring rolls. Tom Yum soup.I sat on the couch. Stared at the wall.His golf clubs were still in the corner. Right where he'd left them three weeks ago. Before Milwaukee. Before everything.I should have called him to pick them up. Should have done a lot of things.Maya appeared with a plate. Shoved it in my hands."Eat.""I saw him yesterday."She went still."Where?""Mel's. With Mike. They were looking at papers. Contracts maybe.""Did you talk to him?"I shook my head."He saw you?""Yeah.""And?""I ran. Like a coward. He chased me. I hid in the bodega until he left."Maya sat next to me. Took the plate back. Set it on the coffee table."Sloane.""I know.
**JACKSON**"You need to take this."Mike slid the paper across the table. Again. For the third time in twenty minutes.The Australia contract. Updated terms. Better money. Longer commitment.I pushed it back."I already told them no.""That was a week ago. They're asking again. Marcus called me th
**SLOANE**"You look like hell."My laptop screen reflected my face back at me. Maya was right. I did look like hell."Thanks. That's exactly what I needed to hear.""When's the last time you showered?"I glanced at the timestamp on my last opened document. Tuesday. It was now Friday."Recently eno
**JACKSON**"You're checking out?"The hotel clerk looked confused. Probably because I'd prepaid through Sunday and it was only Saturday morning."Yeah. Something came up."Something. That's what I was calling it now.I threw my bags in the trunk. The golf clubs made a hollow thud. Fitting. That's
**SLOANE**The hotel notepad was cheap. The kind that tears funny when you rip it off.4:17 AM. I'd been staring at it for an hour.*Jackson...*No. Too formal.*I went back to Chicago.*My hand shook. The pen made a small dot on the paper. Permanent. Like the damage I'd already done.*I'm sorry. I







