Woke Up From Death

Canvas, palettes, and the messy room tainted with different hues. The high ceiling painted with the heavy mixture of red and black. The curtains tied to the sides, allowing the breathtaking view of nature become the greatest artwork existing in this room.

My eyes fell to the painting I'm working on. It was indeed a sight to behold. I can't help but smile as I observe my masterpiece. I press my forefinger to the rough surface of the canvas.

“Will Lucian like this?” I asked myself

The answer is obviously no, Lucian dislike my paintings—no, to be exact he dislike me, so it's impossible for him to appreciate my work.

Adeline Amadeo, the trophy wife, that's what they call me. A husband as a facade, a husband that is only there if there are important gatherings. That's the life I lived ever since I married Lucian Amadeo, the chief executive officer of the famous Amadeo Enterprise.

I continued painting on my canvas. I was immersed to the feeling of my fingers iddly pressing on the wetness of the slightly sticky paints.

My mood suddenly dropped as I heard the repeated notification of my phone. I disregard what I was doing and approached my phone that kept ringing. It's a notification from my bank account. I can't help but smile bitterly, almost a million.

980,000

That's the payment of my dignity, the payment of my silence, and the payment of his infidelity. Is it always like this? Do I need to always endure his cheating?

I fell down to my knees and buried my face to my close legs. I shouldn't show any weakness because he doesn't like vulnerable woman, but I can't help feeling this. I love Lucian more than my life, even if he doesn't see me. He saved me from my abusive father, so how can't I love him?

Besides Lucian wasn't a complete jerk, that's what I persuade myself in. His guilt stops him from tasting other women but there are times, no—to be exact most of the time, his lust for women always win. So his way to ease his guilt was to send me luxurious brands; bags, dress, accessories, and such. And if he knows he crossed the line, he would send half million to my bank account.

He sent me almost a million. It means he did a really heavy sin.

I don't want to go outside, and if possible I want to stay here in my studio for a long time. I refuse to face the truth. I refuse to see my husband fucking other women in the same bed I wanted to sleep on.

I love Lucian even if he doesn't see my true worth, and only see me as his bargaining chip. That's why what he did to me is unforgivable, but I love him so despite the hatred rising in my heart, I would still plead him to look at me. That's how much I love him.

“I wish someday my husband will be kind and loving to me.” I whispered as I stare at the artwork I haven't finished yet.

It was an artwork of a man carrying his wife and daughter. All of them are smiling as if they don't carry the heaviness of the world. I can see how the husband looks at them affectionally, and it hurts.

Because Lucian will never look at me like that.

Napatingin ako sa pinto ng bigla na lamang ito bumukas. There he was, standing, breathing heavily, still half-naked. Nang makita niya ako ay bigla na lamang siya nagalit. He rushed towards me and grab my hair.

“Lucian, nasasaktan ako!” wika ko habang sinusubukan tanggalin ang pagkakahawak niya sa buhok ko

He's a man for pete's sake, siyempre mas mabigat ang kamay niya kesa sa kamay ng mga babae. I can't help but to become teary, when he roughly pulled my hair.

“You fucking slut!” he shouted in anger “Binisita mo si Adie kahapon!”

It's not even a question, it's a statement.

I was confused but still, I tried defending myself, telling him that I didn't leave the house, but he didn't listen and drag me out of the studio. Nanakit na ang anit ko sa lakas ng paghila niya saakin.

“Lucian, please believe me! Hindi ako umalis.” nagsisimula ng tumulo ang luha ko sa sakit

He didn't stop and even kick my head kaya naman pakiramdam ko parang mahihimatay na ko sa sobrang sakit. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sakanya, he's a cheater, but he's not abusive.

I trembled in fear remembering how my father treated me. Lucian is treating me in the same way. I have to run or else, he will also try to kill me.

“You disrespected me! Disobeying my decision, do you think I'm a joke?” he shouted in anger

Bigla na lamang niya akong inuntog sa concerete kaya naman dumugo ang noo ko, sa sobrang lakas ng pag-untog niya. I fell down to my knees, Lucian didn't look unfazed. He remained his cold demeanor as he kneeled down to me.

“Stop acting Adeline, I'm going to bring you to the hospital.” but when he noticed how pale I am, his expression shifted to something I can't explain.

He's worried

Naramdaman ko ang pagtulo ng luha ko. Ito ba ang kapalit para mapakita niya saakin na mahal niya ko kahit kunti? Kasi kung oo, handa akong tanggapin bawat pananakit niya para lang mahalin niya ako.

Hinila niya ako patungo sa kotse niya kahit umuulan. Unang pasok ko palang, amoy na amoy ko na ang matapang na pabango ng kung sinong kabit ang dinala niya dito, but I stayed silent.

Namumutla na ako dahil walang tigil ang pagtulo ng dugo sa noo ko. I even covered my forehead with a handkerchief so the bleeding will stop, but it doesn't lessen the pain.

I rested my head to the headboard of the car and look outside. Sobrang ulan, to the point na hindi ko na makita ang dinadaanan namin, but I trust my husband's driving skills.

Napatingin ako sa cellphone niya na tunog ng tunog. I decided to ignore it but he connected it to the bluetooth of the car and answered the call with no hesitation. Agad ko narinig ang matinis na boses ng isang babae.

“Honey, can we talk later—” he said in a serious voice

“Lucian, I'm pregnant!” wika nito sa masigla boses na mas lalong kinaputla ko

Lucian's expression went to something I never saw when he heard that, but darker when he glanced at me. I was already crying looking at him in pain, ignoring the blood dripping on my cheek. I covered my mouth so I won't make a noise but I can't help it and just completely break down.

“Oh my gosh, are you with her? Sorry, honey. I should've waited a little longer.” she said in a care-free voice and ended the call.

I kept crying, no one can stop me. Walang tigil din ang pagtulo ng dugo sa noo ko. Hindi ko maramdaman ang paunti-unting pagkaubos ng dugo ko, all I feel is the pain in my chest.

Tinignan ko si Lucian na seryoso lang nakatingin sa daan. That seriousness is driving me crazy so for once I started an argument.

“Binuntis mo siya?” galit na tanong ko habang umiiyak “Akala 'ko ba kahit hindi mo ko mahal, hindi mo 'ko iiwan?”

Nang wala akong makuhang sagot ay hinampas-hampas ko si Lucian kahit nagmamaneho ito.

“Stop it Adeline! Maa-aksidente tayo sa ginagawa mo!” he shouted in anger as he shoved me

Nanahimik nalang ako at umiyak ng umiyak. Ano nang mangyayari saakin? Ang isang bagay na hindi ko maibigay kay Lucian ay binigay na ng ibang babae sakanya. I covered my mouth as I cried silently.

Malapit na kami sa hospital, dadaan lang kami ng intersection, at alam ko na iiwan niya na ako para puntahan ang babae niya.

“It's your fault anyway, you can't satisfy me even a little.” he said in a cold voice

Mas lalong bumigat ang nararamdaman ko “Huwag mo 'ko iiwan. Lucian, please...” I begged

He glared at me when I started clinging to him “Stop it Adeline—”

Unexpectedly, when we reached the middle of the intersection. A loud beep of three vehicles approaching our way echoed the empty streets. Then a loud crash filled my senses. My body was thrown away from the passenger seat.

The last thing I saw was my husband's bleeding head.