Chapter 9: Don't Go... I Love You

Evelyn’s Point of View

I turned my head and looked at Sebastian. His eyes were closed, his breathing slow and even.

He's asleep. Which means... this is my chance.

I forced myself upright and slid out from under the reach of his arm, inch by careful inch. The moment my feet touched the floor, my legs buckled, weak and sore, and I caught the bedpost to keep from falling.

My nightgown was in shreds somewhere on the floor, so I frowned, picked up Sebastian's shirt, and pulled it on. It hung to my knees. I crept toward the door.

"Don't go."

I was almost at the handle when the low command came from behind me. My soul nearly left my body. My heart stopped, and I didn't dare breathe.

I looked back, terrified.

He hadn't moved. His eyes were still shut, his face half buried in the pillow. He was talking in his sleep.

Thank God. I pressed a hand to my chest and let out a shaky breath.

I had just lifted my foot again when a murmur drifted across the room, rough and hurt and still stubbornly commanding.

"Evie... don't go. I won't let you go... I love you."

My heart shuddered, and some nameless feeling rose in my chest. Then I shook it off.

A man like that? If he really loved me, it would only be another way of hurting me. I had no idea what I'd done to deserve being tangled up with someone so frightening.

I couldn't drive. I had no phone to call for help. All I could do was walk, as far as my legs would carry me.

Outside, I realized the house stood alone at the top of a mountain. Dark forest lined both sides of the road, and it felt as if a hundred predators waited in the black, ready to leap out and tear me apart.

I was scared. But then I thought of the man in that house, and even the worst wild animal seemed friendlier than he was.

The night wind cut through me. I pulled the oversized shirt tighter and walked faster.

I never looked behind me, I walked until my feet were bleeding and my head was spinning. The road tilted. The trees blurred. My knees gave out, and the ground rushed up to meet me.

The last thing I felt was the heat of my own skin, and then a pair of arms that I somehow already knew.

Then everything went black.

When I finally opened my eyes, everything was white. The ceiling, the walls, the sheets. The air smelled of disinfectant. It took me a moment to understand: a hospital.

Did someone find me and bring me here?

I tried to sit up. The room went black and tilted sideways, and I pitched toward the floor.

I never hit it. A pair of strong arms caught me, steady and fast, and held me close. Through the haze I caught the sound of a phone clattering onto a balcony table, and a voice that was not quite steady.

"Evie."

It was Sebastian. And his hands, I realized, were shaking.

My lips had gone pale, and a high ringing filled my ears. It felt as if something heavy were sitting on my chest. I opened my mouth to breathe, but like a fish flung onto the shore, I got nothing.

“Doctor!” Sebastian’s roar cracked across the room. “Where is the doctor?”

Winston burst in with a physician at his heels, then stopped short. Through the blur, I saw the old man stare at his master as if he were seeing a stranger. Sebastian’s eyes were bloodshot, wild as a cornered animal’s.

“Look at her. If anything happens to her, I’ll have your whole family buried with her.” There was nothing left of his usual calm.

The doctor didn’t dare tremble. He hurried over and examined me. “Mr. Blackwood, your wife is fine. She stood up too fast, and it caused temporary dizziness. It will pass.”

Sebastian didn’t seem to hear. His arms stayed locked around me, and they were shaking.

“Out,” he said at last, rough and quiet. “Wait outside.”

The doctor fled as if pardoned. Winston sighed softly and slipped out after him.

Then Sebastian pressed his face into my hair, and he spoke so low I almost thought I’d imagined it.

“Three years ago, I held you like this. I felt you go cold in my arms, a little at a time, until you stopped breathing. I couldn’t do anything. Nothing.” His voice scraped. “I still don’t know how you came back, or why you did it. I only know I can’t let go. Not now. Not ever.”

His hand moved slowly down my back, as though he needed to confirm I was solid.

“I hate it,” he muttered. “Having you close enough to touch and still feeling like you’ll vanish. I want you where I can see you. Crying, laughing, I don’t care. Even doing nothing. As long as you’re next to me, I feel...” He broke off. “Alive. I feel alive.”

Three years ago? What is he talking about? The thought slid away, too heavy to hold. My head was swimming.

“Julian,” I whispered, my voice a thread, like a kitten’s. “I don’t feel well.”

His whole body tensed. But he didn’t snap or let go. “Where does it hurt?” he asked, steady and urgent, as if the name hadn’t touched him.

“Everywhere.” I scrunched up my face. I was dizzy and nauseous, and my heart gave small, sharp twinges.

“It’ll ease soon.” He patted my back in slow strokes, and his voice was so gentle that every word sounded dipped in honey.

I curled against him like a cat as the pressure in my chest loosened. I opened my eyes. “Julian, I...”

The face above me was not Julian’s.

I nearly leapt out of his arms. Sebastian. I’d been caught again.

His grip tightened. “You’re not well yet. Don’t be stubborn.”

I could have kicked myself. I’d been so feverish that I’d mistaken this wolf for gentle, refined Julian.

“What... what are you going to do?” I shook all over, and I couldn’t hide how afraid I was.

I saw the hurt flash across his face, there and gone. His voice softened. “Get well, and I promise I won’t do anything.”