Chapter 1: Birthday

Hope

Most wolves can’t wait for their eighteenth birthday. It’s the day when they can finally smell their mate, find the other half of their soul and become one.

I have no such expectations. I’ve been dreading my eighteenth birthday since I had my first shift at ten.

I’m not like the other wolves I live with. Being a true hybrid, I’m as much a bear as I am a wolf. That means I stand out like a sore thumb. While I work out harder than most wolves in any of our allied packs, my body is thicker and my muscles are larger than normal she-wolves. Most of them are tall and slender, and look like runway models with muscles. I, however, look like an Ultimate Fighting Champion, someone who could cage fight and be the last woman standing. My muscles are so large, I could almost pass for a man. I’ve been told my legs look like tree trunks, they’re so large. I’ve been told my arms look like legs attached in the wrong spot. Those would be the words of my bullies.

But they aren’t wrong. So no, I’m not at all interested in turning eighteen and potentially finding someone who calls me ‘mate’ only for them to turn around and reject me.

My biggest fear, though, is that my mate will be Levi, the only person outside of my family that I really love. He’s an Alpha male, a born leader and protector, and he’s also my best friend.

“Hope, it will okay. No matter what happens, you know we love you,” my mother says.

I do know that my family loves me. Carlos, my adopted father, has always loved me as if I was his own. Sometimes I wonder if he loves me so fiercely just so I know how much I’m loved.  My sister, Faith, has always lived with me, so for her, I’m just Hope. But for almost everyone else, I’m the freak.

“I know, Mom,” I say.

Thankfully, my family has always accepted the bear side of me. Where wolves love nothing more than being part of a pack and spending time together, bears are loners. More often than not, I’d rather be by myself than with the pack or a group of people. For my birthday, my family knew I wouldn’t want the big parties that most wolves want, so they’re taking me away for the weekend. For the first time in my life, I’m going to see the ocean. Part of me is terrified and part of me is excited. I think it’s the bear that’s excited. Bears like water more than wolves.

However, before we leave, Alpha Eli and Luna Grace made sure to come see me and wish me a happy birthday. Since Levi is Grace’s half-brother, she probably knows more about me than most people. She’s a wonderful Luna and her name fits her perfectly. The woman is grace personified. Alpha Eli isn’t like most Alphas. He’s quiet and reserved in a way that most wolves aren’t. My bear likes that about him and unlike many people who find him a bit overbearing, I find it comfortable to be in his presence. The only thing we don’t agree on is the sprites.

He can’t stand the sprites. Sprites are the equivalent of fairies, the good kind, but with an internal light that makes them look like they are shining from within. Their unfiltered chatter makes Alpha Eli crazy. Me, on the other hand, I love their pure spirit. More than once, they’ve found me in the forest crying over something a bully said or something someone said without thinking that was inadvertently cruel. Every time they find me, they snuggle their tiny bodies against mine, giving me comfort and letting me know I’m not alone. Since there’s not a mean bone in any sprite’s body, I accept their touch and affection and ignore their strange way of talking like they all share one mind and finish each other’s sentences.

Since my father is Alpha Eli’s Beta, they knew where we were going this weekend, so their gift to me was an upgraded room in our hotel, one that will overlook the ocean and have more space.

“Thank you so much, Luna Grace,” I say when she hugs me.

“You’re so welcome, sweetheart. I know you don’t like parties, but we’ll miss celebrating your birthday with you.”

“I’m sure she’ll be glad to get away from the constant chaos of the pack, Grace,” Alpha Eli says. “Have a good time, Hope. Enjoy your time away. I live for the day when I get to duck out of here for the weekend,” he whispers conspiratorially. Since we’re all shifters, everyone can hear him and since Alpha Emerson’s birthday is only a few months away, that ‘day’ will be here before he knows it.

Still, he grins at me like we’re sharing a secret joke. All the Guardians, their mates, and their children are wonderful to me. Our pack and our allied packs, The Shadow Falls Pack and The Canyon Ridge Pack, have never tolerated bullying of me or anyone. Our pack is called Safe Haven for a reason and that’s what it’s always been for me, a safe haven. It was school where I was bullied. That and any time one of the packs hosted an important event where other packs were invited, like Alpha Richard’s Alpha ceremony.

“Have a wonderful weekend. Take lots of pictures,” Luna Grace says.

“We will, don’t worry,” my father says.

I’m sad and a little disappointed when Levi doesn’t come to wish me happy birthday before I leave. One of the reasons I wanted to be away from the pack is that I’m terrified of finding my mate and having everyone watch as I’m rejected. The worst possible scenario would be if Levi is my mate and he rejected me. I’d lose the only friend I’ve ever had along with the only man I’ve ever loved.

Maybe it’s better that he stayed away.

We pack our things and head out of the pack. As my sister chatters with my parents, I stare out the window, watching as the scenery changes. The forest becomes thinner as we make our way to the coast.  The trees begin to change, losing the look that I’m accustomed to and becoming different, but just as beautiful.

Then dad rolls down the window.

“WHOA!” Faith says. “What is that smell?”

“That is the salty scent of the ocean,” dad says, looking at me in the rearview mirror and winking at me. “What do you think, Hope?”

“I like it,” I say. The saltwater smells as much like home as the forest that surrounds our pack does.

After my first shift, mom and dad talked to me about getting my DNA done to see what kind of bear I was. It’s possible that my biological father was an Alpha bear, but my mother was mostly concerned about being able to raise me in an environment where I would feel comfortable. She didn’t need to worry, both bears and wolves love the forest, but the DNA tests were interesting and that’s what sparked their suggestion to come to the ocean this weekend.

My bear is a polar bear, a bear that loves the water, a bear that can swim for miles, a bear that lives near the ocean.

When we arrive at the hotel, I feel drawn to the water. I can barely wait to get checked in before we all get changed and go down to the beach.

“Hope, be careful. The ocean isn’t like the rivers back home. It can have much stronger currents.”

“Amber, she’s part bear, a bear that is used to being in the water. Let her stretch her legs. Let her see how her bear responds,” my father says. He’s always the voice of reason when my mother tries to be too protective of me.

“I’ll be okay, mom,” I say, practically desperate to get in the water.

As soon as I dive under the water, blocking out the rest of the world, I feel at peace. The water against my body feels right, like I was made to be here just as much as I was made to be in the forest.

When I come back up to the surface, I can see my mother and father looking anxious.

“I’m fine!” I say, before diving back under the waves and swimming like I was made for this. I guess I was.

It’s hours later when my mother and father call me to get out of the water.

“Hope! We’re going to be late for our dinner reservation. Come on, we have to go get ready,” Mom says.

I slowly make my way out of the ocean. When I look, my fingers are wrinkled from being in the water too long.

“Don’t worry, kiddo. We’ll come back tomorrow. We have all day,” Dad says.

“Thanks Dad,” I say as we walk back inside.

The suite Alpha and Luna gifted me is huge, so there is plenty of room for all of us to shower. I put on a pantsuit and meet my family in the living room of the suite.

“Are we ready?” Dad asks.

“Let’s do it!” I say.

We’re having dinner in the hotel restaurant tonight, so we go downstairs and let them know we’re here for our reservation. Since there are five of us, we’re seated at a table that seats six.

The waiter comes over and asks who is having the birthday. My family all points at me, making me grin. I can relax here, since I don’t have to worry about anyone teasing me or rejecting me.

My parents have ordered a bottle of wine and the rest of us have ordered sodas, when I smell him. I’d know his scent anywhere.

I look up and see him standing across the restaurant with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Where Luna Grace’s scent is cherry blossoms, Levi’s is cherrywood. It’s a stronger, more masculine scent compared to his half-sister’s, and I’ve always loved the way he smells.

“What …?”

I look at my parents and based on the smile on their faces, I know they planned this.

“He’s your best friend, sweetheart,” Mom says. “He wanted to be here to celebrate with you.”

Levi walks across the room, his eyes never leaving mine. I stand, unable to stay seated in his presence.

“Happy Birthday, Hope,” he says, handing me the flowers.

“Levi, what are you doing here?” I ask.

“You didn’t think I was going to let you have your most important birthday without me, did you?”

Levi is always so confident, so self-assured. It’s the Alpha in him. But at the moment, I can tell he’s worried that I’ll send him away, that I’ll tell him I don’t want him here.

“I’m glad you’re here. Thank you for the flowers,” I say, taking the bouquet from him.

“You’re welcome,” he says, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek.

Damn, he smells even better than normal. And that terrifies me.

Qadira, my beast, begins a rumbling sound in my chest. Levi smiles, knowing that it’s her version of a purr. She is VERY happy he’s here. She adores Levi and his wolf, Malcolm.

“Happy Birthday to you too, Qadira,” Levi says, his voice deepening as Malcolm pushes forward.

“Will you join us for dinner?” I ask him.

“I thought you’d never ask.”