CHAPTER 6: FLUORESCENT LIGHTS

“The scariest part about disappearance isn’t the silence–it’s how quickly everyone learns to live with it.”

HOSEA

The red in my vision is slowly clearing. Xavier stands there right before me, arms wide, grinning like some comic book villain who’s missed his cue. Same haircut, same scuffed prefect badge, same untouchable confidence.

My hands clench and unclench before I ball them into fists.

“You think that’s funny?”

“Actually? Yeah,” he says, still chuckling. “Figured you’d clock me quicker, you’re getting slow.”

“I almost broke your nose!”

“But you didn’t.” Xavier shrugs, as if that settles everything. “Come on, hug?”

“No.” I push past him, fury buzzing under my skin. “You ignore every single text I’ve sent through the damn counsellor. I’ve called your parents several times and your grand idea of a comeback is body slamming me into the lockers? What is fucking wrong with you?”

“Dramatic entrances are my thing,” he trots after me “I thought you’d appreciate the flair.”

“Why did you think this explanation would cut it? Ever?”

His grin falters. For a heartbeat he looks guilty―very guilty―then he hides it behind an easy smile.

“I’ll explain. Promise. Just… not here, all right?”

I stop in my tracks, “Apologize first.”

“I’m sorry.” He doesn’t smile this time. “I messed up. I should’ve reached out. I shouldn’t have slammed you against the lockers. It was insensitive. Forgive me?”

“Fine, but you owe me one.”

“Definitely.” His eyes soften. “I missed you.”

I exhale, tension leaking out just enough to walk beside him. “Yeah, well, you have a terrible way of showing it, seriously.”

Just then the bell rings signaling the start of a new period.

“We should get to class, you can explain everything later.”

“Sure.”

………………                                                                                                                                  …………………

Recess comes around slower than I expect it to and by the time we’re headed to lunch I’m already beat. There’s a slight ache at my temples and I wonder if it has anything to do with my terrible sleep schedule. I pack up my books and step away from my desk. Soon enough Xavier catches up to me.

“You okay?” He asks, concern evident in his eyes.

I hadn’t noticed that my face betrayed how drained I was feeling internally.

“I’ll be fine. Let’s just get to lunch before I collapse or something.”

Xavier proceeds to mumble something about starving myself till I drop and I can’t even argue with him. He isn’t wrong. I’ve had a very unhealthy relationship with food for some time now. How I gain weight remains a mystery to me.

“Let’s just g…”

“Hosea!”

A scrawny small boy skids to a halt in front of us panting and out of breath. He seems like he’s been running for quite a while.

“Matt…” he’s too out of breath to even form a full sentence.

“Calm down kid, what’s the problem?” I don’t even register that Xavier has spoken. I’m much too focused on the all too familiar feeling of dread the little boy seems to hold.

“Matt. He’s gone. He didn’t come into the dorm last night. I can’t find him anywhere. Please did you happen to see him?”

For a second I don’t speak. I just blink at Ryan―Matt’s friend―who’s standing in front of me pale as a ghost. His eyes are red rimmed and his words tremble with barely contained panic.

“I…no,” I say, my voice coming out lower than I expect. “The last time I saw him was yesterday. After the whole thing in the auditorium.”

Ryan nods, too fast. His hand clutching the strap of his bag. “He didn’t come for prep. Missed dinner. I waited all night. At first I thought he’d been transferred cause of the…you know, panic attack, but no ones seen him. He’s just…gone.”

The weight of his words start to settle unpleasantly in the pit of my stomach. The last time I saw Matt, he was shaking so badly he couldn’t even speak. Simeon had his arm around him like he was trying to calm him down and I remember thinking how odd that looked―how off it felt but then again, everything about yesterday had felt off.

And now he was gone.

“I’ll help you look,” I say, already turning around. Xavier who’s just been observing all this while tugs on my arm bringing me to a halt.

“Easy now. Where are you going? Why do you have to get involved in all this when you know its only going to worsen your anxiety?”

“I have to Xav. You didn’t see him yesterday that’s why you can afford to say that. I’m going to do this, with or without you so all you have to do is decide if you’re gonna be there or not.”

“Jesus. You think he ran off?”

“I don’t know,” I mutter. “But I think we should talk to the Phys. Ed teacher. He saw to him last.”

We find Simeon near the staff lounge, coffee in hand, wearing his usual clean cut button down, the sleeves rolled up like he’s always halfway through grading papers. He looks as composed as always.

“Mr. Simeon,” I call out.

He turns, his brows rising faintly. “Hosea right? Is something wrong?”

“It’s about Matt,” I say. “He’s missing.”

He straightens slightly. “Missing?”

“He never came back to the dorm,” Ryan explains quickly. “He didn’t show up for any classes or meals and he’s not in the infirmary anymore.”

Simeon’s eyes flick between the two of us. “Did you check in with the nurse?”

“She said his bed was empty this morning,” Ryan replies. “That’s it.”

Something sharp flickers in Simeon’s expression and I barely catch it.

“Alright,” he says, more serious now. “Let’s speak to her together.”

The infirmary is ghostly quiet. The fluorescent lights hum softly above. Nurse Dawson doesn’t even spare us a glance when we first step in, just scribbles something in a logbook.

“Nurse Dawson,” Simon says, his voice firm but calm. “We’re following up on a student that was brought in. Matt Carroll. He was admitted yesterday.”

She lifts her head and frowns briefly before shrugging her shoulders.

“Yes. Panic episode. I gave him a mild sedative and put him down to rest.”

“And this morning?” I ask.

“His bed was empty this morning,” she says. “Nothing unusual.”

Ryan makes a helpless sound from behind me. “You mean you didn’t even see him leave?”

“He probably walked out before I started my rounds,” she replies blandly. “They do that sometimes.”

“No one’s seen him since,” I say. “Not in the dorms, not in class and no one’s been able to reach him. Doesn’t that strike you as odd?”

She narrows her eyes. “These boys love drama. You know how it is. Maybe he’s in a corner sulking. A panic attack can be very embarrassing you know.”

The disgust I feel is palpable and with the way the room sours, I can tell I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Simeon presses, “Has anything like this ever happened before?”

She pauses with a slight twitch of her lips,

“It’s a boarding school. There are always boys slipping out and about after hours.”

That doesn’t answer the question.

Before we can challenge her further, a knock rattles against the door frame. A younger student pokes his head into the room, his face looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“Um…Mr. Simeon? Hosea? Sister Monica would like an audience with you both in her office.”

Me and Simeon exchange a glance and I can’t help the way my stomach dips.

This can’t be anything good.