Ch 5: Breaking Down

Jackie waits motionless by the locked door, holding her breath, straining her ears, listening until she is sure they are gone. Only then does she allow herself to move, rummaging through the room until she finds her phone. A wave of relief washes over her; there is half a charge left. A dozen missed calls and unread messages flash across the screen, but she shoved the phone into her pocket without reading them. Not yet, not until she can read them without interruption. Every sound felt like a gunshot in the silence as she stepped toward the window, her breath shallow, her limbs trembling with anticipation.

Holding her breath, she eased the window open. The night air rushed in, cool and crisp. A floorboard groaned outside her door. Her pulse spikes, and her body responds to her anxiety and her desire to escape. She dropped below the window frame and lowered herself into a low crouch. She had a moment to notice the graceful change she felt in her body. Before she could contemplate her body more, she saw the perfect moment when everything was clear, and she bolted.

The world around her became a blur, but she didn’t dare look back. The noise inside the house grows distant, swallowed by the night. She pushed her legs to move as fast as they could go. Only when she reaches the bus stop a few kilometers away does she allow herself to breathe. That was when she realized she had run 8 kilometers in about 10 minutes and barely felt winded. While sitting at the stop, she sat numb in the artificial glow of the streetlamp above her, which flickered, casting elongated shadows that twitched and warped at the edges of her vision.

Before she could contemplate what she was feeling, her phone vibrated in her pocket. Another call from her Dad. She lets it ring until it stops. He can wait a little longer. Instead, she opens her rideshare app with unsteady fingers and requests a ride to the hospital. As she waits, her thoughts begin to spiral.

‘Okay, so I may or may not be human anymore. I am all alone. Again. Andrea might be dead. And it’s my fault. I let this happen. Why can’t I ever do anything right? I don’t deserve to be.’

Movement flickers at the edge of her vision, yanking her from the depths of her mind. Her breath catches as she turns sharply toward the glass of the bus stop shelter. Her reflection is wrong. Its eyes are too dark. Its smile is too broad and toothy. Its body is too still. She blinks hard, and the image corrects itself back to just her. Just a normal human, Jackie.

‘I think I’m breaking down again. I can’t have another episode. Not now. Not here.’

Her phone dings. A message.

-Jackie, I hope you have a good excuse for being a no-call no-show. I know you are a bright young lady, so I will give you another chance. Please call me at your earliest convenience.

Her internship. She was supposed to start today. A hollow laugh nearly escapes her lips, but it catches in her throat. She keeps scrolling, unable to stop herself from reading the messages she’s been avoiding from her Dad.

-Jackie! I just got a call from the hospital. I’m about to get on the plane. Are you okay?

-Okay, I just got to the hospital, and you aren’t here. Where are you?

-Your sister is in critical condition. And I still haven’t heard from you. Where are you?

-Jackie, you were supposed to protect your sister. Where the hell are you? And why aren’t you answering my calls?! The police just showed up asking questions.

A car pulls up. The window rolls down. “Jackie?”

Her head snaps up. A man is staring at her from the driver’s seat. “Yeah, that’s me. You’re Sanjay?”

As she reaches for the door handle, something shifts in the reflection of the car window. A face. No, not a face. A twisted, grinning halfcat, halfhuman monstrosity, its teeth bared in a grotesque smile. Its eyes pierce into hers, hollow and knowing. Jackie stumbles back with a strangled cry. The driver frowns, turning to check the back seat. “Miss? Is everything okay?” She forces herself to look again. The face is gone. Just her own haunted reflection staring back.

‘I am definitely losing my mind. I could have sworn I saw—‘

“Are you getting in?” Sanjay asks, his voice edged with impatience.

Swallowing hard, she nods and climbs into the car, forcing her hands to stay still in her lap. The thirty-minute ride to the hospital felt stretched into an eternity. Her mind reeled, and her stomach churned as the time ticked by. The weight of what awaits her, her father’s disappointment, and the consequences of her failure press down on her chest like a stone. She prays he isn’t there.

Andrea had always been their father’s favorite, even if he tried to hide it. He was softer with Andrea, sharper with Jackie, and pushed her a little more. But he still loved her, and that was all that mattered. Or at least, that’s what Jackie told herself over and over again.

She got lost in the haze of childhood memories, sinking into the past. Then, suddenly, she was jolted back to reality when the car stopped. The hospital loomed before her, sterile and unfeeling. She blinked, disoriented, and gave Sanjay five stars before walking into the building.

They let her in without identification. It was concerning how nonchalant they were about her presence. She concluded that it must have been the way she looked, wildeyed, frantic, and desperate. Or maybe it was the weight of grief in her steps. No one questioned her. Jackie stepped into the hospital room, and the moment her eyes fell on Andrea, all strength abandoned her. She collapsed onto her knees beside the bed, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she sobbed. Andrea looked on the verge of death. Bruises darkened her skin like spilled ink, swelling and distorting her once-familiar face. Machines breathed for her, their rhythmic hissing the only sign that she was still alive.

Jackie reached out, trembling, and clasped her sister’s limp hand. Hot tears streaked down her cheeks, blurring her vision. Holding her sister, she felt fractured, like a piece of her soul was lying next to her, broken in the hospital bed.

“I wish I could trade places with you,” she choked out. “I, I don’t know what to do, Drea. Everything is changing, and I’m changing. And, I don’t know how to do this without you. Without you, everything is dark and wrong. I should have killed that bastard faster.”

A hot, searing rage burned through her grief. It coiled in her stomach, seeping into her limbs. Her fingers twitched, and she remembered how she hurt Laura with those same hands. She staggered back from the bed, retreating into the shadowed corner of the room. Then she saw it. Her reflection stared back at her from the dark window. But it wasn’t her. Her eyes were slit like a cat’s. Her hands were elongated, ending in curved claws. It was a familiar dark presence, one that had always been there, lurking beneath the surface, waiting patiently for the moment she would crack. It was a familiar old friend. She took a shuddering breath. The air felt thick, suffocating. She clenched her fists, willing herself back into her human skin. She groaned and hissed as she felt the shift back to normal. Her energy felt drained, and her skin held a lingering burn.

‘Get it together. I need to get away. Right now. I can’t be around her like this. Not until I know how to control it.’

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. The sudden vibration made her flinch violently, sending her already frayed nerves spiraling further. She bolted from the hospital, into the night. The world outside twisted before her eyes. Every reflection, every shadow stretched and writhed, as if mocking her. The hospital’s lights dimmed, the edges of the world losing their shape. The air was thick with something unseen, something pressing against her skull. Jackie stumbled, breath hitching as she hyperventilated. Too much. It was all too much for her. Then she saw her reflection again, this time, clearer. Hers, but not quite. The eyes are too sharp, the grin too wide. Her stomach turned, and she wanted to scream and claw the monster out of her. Staring and not breathing, the next thing she knew, the ground rushed up to meet her. Even with her eyes squeezed shut, she could still see it, her reflection, standing tall, smiling back. Her body went limp as her mind sank into blackness. Just before she let go, she saw a silhouette that was becoming familiar to her at the end of the street. It was Luke.