chapter 49

I'll day, the tension rises as I count down to the talk Dayne and I are going to have.

He’s going to want to know about Uncle Glynn, I tell myself, as I stare out of the window as the pack prepares for the BBQ.

Earlier, Luka and some of the others went into town to stock up on extra food and beers. No one invited me.

I considered asking, right up until I caught a glimpse at the forbidding expression on Dayne’s face and remembered his fury the last time I went.

Going into town would mean me going to the grocery store, which would mean me being around Fisher. A guy who likes me, according to Dayne. I see the knowledge of that on Dayne’s face, so I don’t say a word. Instead, I retreat to the den with Regan.

How am I going to get out of telling him about all the things I left behind: the shame of it, all the humiliating things my pack did to me, the constant fear? How am I supposed to tell Dayne Blackshaw, the powerful alpha who I doubt has ever known a day of fear and helplessness his entire life, all of that?

The truth of it is I can’t. Not if I expect him to look at me with anything even close to resembling respect.

“Talis?” Regan calls from the couch.

“Yeah?” I don’t take my eyes from outside.

I could run.

With Dayne and the others busy setting up for the BBQ, they might not even realize I’d gone for several hours if I plan it out right.

“You okay?”

No.

They would know, and with Regan sticking close to me, it’s like Dayne has her watching me or something. As if he suspects I’d try to run. Knowing him, he probably does.

“Fine.”

“You know you can talk to me. About anything.”

As if he feels me observing him, Dayne turns, and through the glass, our eyes connect.

Backing away from the window, I tear my gaze away from him.

“I need to use the bathroom.”

I need to spend the next hour at least burying my wolf deep down inside of me because if anything is going to force her to the surface, it’ll be talking about Uncle Glynn.

Despite the tension between Dayne and me, the food portion of the BBQ and the first football game which I don’t take part in goes okay.

I’m sure my decision to stay as far away from Dayne as possible plays a large part in relieving at least some of the tension.

As the pack gets ready to start up the second game of the evening, the last before it gets too dark, I’m grinning at something Regan says.

But, at the sound of giggling, and Dayne’s sudden bark of laughter, I turn and spot the hand Savannah has just placed on his arm.

As if he belongs to her.

And just like that, the grip I have on my wolf snaps.

“Mine.” My voice is nothing less than the snarl of an enraged wolf.

Around me, everyone stops what they’re doing. And even as I struggle to regain my hold, I know it’s too late, she’s seized control.

But that doesn’t stop me from fighting as I go down to my knees.

I feel the pack’s eyes on me, but right now I don’t care I’ve become the focus of attention. It’s the battle raging inside me that takes priority.

“No, no, no. No.”

Raising my hands to my head, I squeeze my eyes shut in a vain attempt to block everything out so I can concentrate on the furious wolf inside me tearing down all the walls I’ve built.

It’s a battle I’ve already lost, I know this, but still, I fight. Still, I desperately cling to the idea I might find some way to force her back.

“Stop fighting her, Talis.”

I don’t hear Dayne approach, but he’s there in front of me, and I smell her Savannah.

The knowledge my mate is coming to me wearing the scent of another woman adds strength to my wolf’s attempt to force herself out.

I open my eyes and yank my hand from my face. I’m not surprised at what I see.

I’m changing. My skin has shifted from tanned, freckled skin to wolf fur, and my short nails are lengthening into claws.

Shaking my head, I grit my teeth as I push hard, trying to force her back, trembling with effort.

I watch as the honey-brown fur, the same color as my hair ripples and shifts back to human skin and stays like it.

“Talis. Let her out.” Dayne’s command is all alpha, and I snarl at him for thinking he can tell me what to do.

My clawed fingers lash out, and I scent blood in the air. Dayne’s.

There’s a low growl somewhere off to the side, but Dayne doesn’t even turn as he snaps at Luka to back off.

The scent of Dayne’s blood distracts me enough for my skin to once more ripple with wolf fur, except now it’s not just limited to my arms. I can feel the change spreading over my legs, my back… everywhere.

My very bones are reshaping from the inside out. It’s been so long since I’ve changed. Years.

The pain of it. The sharp agony of it feels like my first shift, and I cry out now as I did then, my body burning as if I’ve been lit on fire.

My skin is so sensitive, I ache to tear my clothes away and find some relief from the feel of my cotton shirt grating against me. But it’s my jeans that are the worst. The urge to shred the harsh material to pieces with the claws emerging from the tips of my fingers is so intense, it saps even more of my strength not to.

My vision changes. Sharpens.

This is bad. And it’s only going to get worse.

Desperately, I try to stand, to back away, intending to get inside and to the bedroom where I can bottle my wolf back in. But Dayne’s hard grip on my wrist stops my desperate ascent, and crouching in front of me, he forces me to meet his eyes.

“Let her go.” His eyes have gone full wolf, and they and his touch compel. They leave me no other choice but to embrace the change sweeping through me.

Already weakened from fighting against one wolf, I lack the strength to fight against another. As if sensing she and Dayne have exhausted my will, I feel her lunge.

She crashes through the cage already crumbling to pieces all around her. And then the world shifts and spins as lights dance across my vision and every part of me screams in agony. Bones snap and reshape, and my clothes are suddenly in the way. Too big. Wanting to trap me. Choke me.

I bat them away and toss my head to free myself of the last of the clinging material.

I can smell the woman on my mate, tainting the wild, fresh scent of him my wolf wants to investigate further. And it makes me… furious.

The air crackles with the heat of my rage as I pace in front of him.

Mate. Mine.

With my lips peeled back from my teeth, I snarl my fury for all to hear.

A warning: stay the fuck away.

“There she is. Beautiful,” Dayne murmurs in a voice I’d suspect of being awe if he wasn’t the cold-blooded alpha, and I whip around, snapping at him.

Oh God, this is even worse than I imagined.

She snapped at Dayne and nearly took his nose off. And now that it’s my turn to be locked inside, powerless to do anything, unable to stop her, I flinch in horror.

There’s movement amongst the watching pack, but Dayne never takes his eyes off of me. Or rather my wolf. It’s like we’re two separate souls sharing one body. It shouldn’t be like this. We should be one, not fighting for dominance with each other.

What the fuck have I done to myself?

Dayne raises a hand as if warning whoever it is to stay back.

She/I continue to pace back and forth in front of Dayne who never takes his eyes away from me, still in a crouch.

I can still smell the woman on him, and it isn’t hard to locate her standing in the middle of the huddle observing me.