CHAPTER 007: THE DAY I STOPPED SAVING HIM

Sienna's POV

My ribs hurt on the inhale. The breath stopped halfway down and would not go deeper.

My eyes opened onto silver. No ceiling. No walls. Light stretched out in every direction with no end I could see.

My heart pounded against my throat.

A structure rose out of the gray ahead of me, steps forming one at a time out of light with no source. Each step made a low sound under my feet as I got closer.

Am I dead? Nothing answered.

Dust sat in my lungs. Copper coated my tongue. My scalp still burned where Ivy pulled. Dead did not have those details, so I was not dead.

I moved toward the steps. Air pressed back against my shoulders. The platform at the top glowed faint and steady. Nothing on it moved.

*There you are*.

The voice came up through the floor, through the soles of my feet, before I heard it as sound. I spun around.

She stepped out of the silver toward me. White fur, shoulders taller than me, paws the size of plates. My breath caught and my knees locked. I stumbled back two steps without meaning to.

My wolf. Or what my wolf had become while no one told me.

On my eighteenth birthday I felt a flicker, then nothing. This was not a flicker. This had been growing in the dark.

"Are you mine? The one who's been hiding while they bled me dry?"

She stared past me toward the sky that was not a sky.

"You're brittle, Sienna. What's inside you would drown someone weaker. Use me now and it will break your bones before it fixes anything. You want justice, but you're still holding on to a man who's already given up on you."

The bitterness rose before I could swallow it.

"The Moon Goddess has a cruel sense of humor. She gives me a wolf and leaves me in a cage."

"The Goddess doesn't choose the weak. You're the last of the Millennium line. You've had what you need to break this for a while now. You just haven't used it. Your mate is already in your territory, breathing the same air you are. Don't let this pack finish you before he finds you."

"How long until he finds me?"

"That depends how long you survive waiting for him."

"That's not an answer."

"It's the only one you're getting tonight."

Heat split the back of my hand. The moon mark burned white. Silver folded in on itself.

Mildew hit my nose. Damp wood. A closed-up room with no window.

I was back on the cot.

A door swung open and hit stone. The frame shook before the servant's boot hit it.

"Still dreaming? The new Luna expects a full court today."

She stood over me, arms crossed, lip curled. Her pulse hammered fast in her throat.

My hearing lagged. Dust in the doorway hung still. Her voice arrived half a second behind her mouth.

"The Blood Moon Pack arrives today." She threw a bundle of rough gray fabric at my chest. "Be at the kitchens in ten minutes."

I caught it without looking down and held her eyes.

"Thank you."

She froze, then left fast. Her boot caught the doorframe on the way out.

The wool scratched my skin when I pulled it on. Coarse, stiff, smelling of lye.

The cracked mirror showed the same face, same tangled hair, same mouth pressed flat. Behind the brown, silver had bled into the iris.

I stepped into the corridor.

"There's my dear sister."

Ivy waited at the turn in red silk. Her perfume hit first, too sweet. Her eyes dragged down the gray fabric on my body. Her fingers twitched at her sides.

They were shaking. Nails dug into her palms.

"You look exhausted, Sienna." Her giggle broke in the middle. "But get used to the weight. You're a lowly omega now. Do you understand?"

I turned slow enough that she stepped back without meaning to.

"Is that what Lucas told you? Or is that what you tell yourself when you notice he's still looking for me in every room?"

Her mouth shut. Her jaw locked. A bead of blood formed where her teeth cut her lip.

I walked past. My shoulder hit hers on purpose.

Her hand shot into my hair, fingers closing and yanking back. Fire burned across my scalp. She stepped in front of me, eyes wide, breath short.

"You think you're still a threat," she hissed. "He was mine to take, and you let me take him, and you still won't stop letting him look for you like you're something. You're not. Not anymore."

I kept my voice low so she had to lean in.

"The mate you stole doesn't make you a Luna, Ivy. It makes you a thief in a red dress."

She snatched shears off a passing maid's tray and ripped them down the front of her own gown. Silk tore, loud. Heads turned. Her eyes locked on mine for one cold second before she screamed.

"No! Sienna, stop!"

The slap came from the left. My teeth cut my cheek. Copper flooded my mouth before the sound finished. I held my head turned for two seconds, then brought it back slow, eyes flat.

"Sienna!"

Lucas's hand clamped my wrist. Bones ground. His eyes flicked between the torn fabric and my split lip, twice.

"You really think the rules don't apply to you?" His voice cracked across the hall. "In front of the elders, Sienna. Today of all days."

"Do you see shears in my hand, Lucas?" I did not blink. Silver moved through the brown and I let him see it. "Are you that desperate to believe the lie?"

"She's out of control, Lucas!" Ivy wailed.

He glanced toward the elders coming down the hall, then back to me. His hand rose.

The backhand hit full. My skull hit stone. White burst at the edges of my vision. Blood ran into my eye, hot.

He took one step toward me, jaw working, then stopped.

"Don't," I said. "It's embarrassing, Lucas."

His arm dropped. I pushed off the wall, found my footing, and walked toward the kitchens. I didn't run. I didn't look back.

In the pantry I pressed my hands to my face over the basin until the nausea passed. My lip swelled, tight and throbbing. I pressed a wet cloth to it until my hands stopped shaking.

Through the service window, I saw the courtyard.

Morrigan stood in the far corner with a maid I almost recognized. Morrigan's face showed nothing, but her fingers moved fast, pressing something small and black and wet into the other woman's palm. My ears rang. No words came through.

I picked up a tray and followed.

The ceremony had already started. Ivy sat beside Lucas in a clean white gown, chin up, smiling like nothing happened.

"The Blood Moon Pack is arriving." Morrigan passed without slowing. "Ensure the wine is ready."

I moved toward the high table.

The maid from the courtyard stood beside Lucas's chair, back half-turned. Her hand hovered. One dark drop fell from her fingers into his red wine. She straightened and stepped away before anyone looked up.

Lucas laughed at something beside him and reached for the glass, relaxed, easy.

My knuckles went white on the tray.

Then the memory of his hand hitting the wall came back. The rip of silk. The pity in my own voice before he hit me.

I did not move.

He lifted the chalice and drank, deep and unhurried, then set it down. His brows drew together. His palm pressed once against his sternum, hard, then fell away. He turned back to the conversation.

No undoing it now.

For the first time, the thought of saving him didn't come.