Chapter 38. Bella POV

Plunging into my darkest, most hidden memories was like uncovering the worst kind of buried treasure.

"I remember it but it's like watching a film with the sound off. It's happening and I was the one doing it but it's like an out of body thing to replay it. She settled onto the bed and lay down, I jumped out of my hiding place and slashed her throat. I did it again and again, not allowing her any chance to heal."

I wrapped my arms around my waist and looked to the skies.

"The aftermath was horrendous. The guilt made me sick for weeks, I cried constantly and both myself and Bram lost our wolves. I was devastated and even though there was no suspicion my way at all everything about me changed."

"Did you not get what you wanted?" Lucien quietly asked.

"In what sense? I turned eighteen the year after and we weren't mates. I was crushed but Bram swore he still loved and adored me. He said my devotion was enough even if we weren't mates. His brother