Chapter 7

"The more you care, the more you fear."

-Wayne Gerard Trotman-

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Ana did not know how she was supposed to response, somehow his words made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She felt like it was time for her to go home since her meal was also finished. She politely thanked him for the night and stood up.

“Thank you for the meal, Anton, but I need to leave now I remember I still have something to do.” She was about to walk away when he suddenly grabbed her hand, stopping her in her track. She turned to face him, her eyes met his gaze and found displease within them. It was only expected, after all she broke the rule of the first date. Still, her intuition told her to not stay there any longer, yet he prevented her from doing it.

“We have not even had dessert, please, at least let me treat you to a piece of cake or any sweets of your choice.”

At this moment Alexander realized how uncomfortable Ana was and no one was really paying any attention. He knew he needed to get her out of that situation without drawing the attention to them. With swift hand movement, he picked out a piece of marble glass ball he had carried from his pocket and flicked it over to two tables beside him, hitting one of the glassware full of red wine.

The glass smashed to the ground and the liquid poured all over the lady who ordered the drink, she reflexively stood up from her seat, shrieking in horror as her pale blue designer tailored dress was drenched and stained crimson.

Anastasia knew it was Alexander’s doing, she used this distraction as a quick excuse to leave immediately, making Anton unable to react and the eyes were all over the poor lady instead of her. Alexander casually drank his wine and put some money on the table before he stood up and left as well while Anton was not watching.

For Ana it was a close move because had he not done that she would definitely be at a worse position and it was the last thing she wanted. Once she got in the car, she waited for Alexander to come out, it did not take very long for him to eventually followed her back to the car. As soon as he entered the car drove away.

Ana immediately asked him how he was feeling because what he did back then was clever but risky, he shrugged it off and told her it was nothing. She felt a little bad for the lady whose gown was ruined but they had to do what they had to do.

“Anton invited me over to his place next weekend. I knew I should have said no but somehow I could not. Something about his air was just very intimidating. It was almost as if he got me locked in his eyes, almost like a black magic but psychological. It was the strangest thing ever.” Alexander listened carefully and to be honest he was not exactly pleased with the decision but he could understand Ana’s position. There was no way she would cancel it.

Once they arrive back at the house she went to her room and like usual Alexander went to accompany her, but before he left that night, Ana called for him. He stopped and turn his body around to face her. Ana stared at him with some sort of meaning and he immediately understood what she wanted without her lips ever parting.

“Ana, would you like me to accompany you tonight?” he asked. The first few seconds passed and she was not exactly sure how she was supposed to answer that but then she succumbed to her innate desire and nodded her head. Alexander walked over to her and took her hand in his. He was out of his character, just for the night and reminded himself that he too was also a human being. Taking off his suit, the two of them walked over to her room.

Ana told him to wait and do something first while she was going to change her clothes, she walked over to her dressing room and tried to remove her dress, yet her hand somehow could not reach the zipper who was stuck in the middle. She tried for a few seconds to no avail. With a heavy sigh, she walked out and politely asked Alexander to help her unzip the dress.

Alexander who was looking at some old pictures in her room walked toward her and she turned around from him. His fingers carefully trailed over the edge of the zipper and with a gentle force, he pulled down the zipper down to her waist. When the fabric was separated, he could see the line of her milky white skin. It was so soft and tender, like it was silently screaming to be touched.

The man had to take soft and small deep breaths while his eyes was fixated on it. Once she realizes the zip was already unzipped and walked away from him. Alexander felt like he was out of a daze. There were only a few moments in his life where he felt like he was not in control of himself. Being alone with her like that was one of those few moments.

“Thank you, I’m going to change to my night gown now. If you need to change to some casual wear I also have some bodyguard’s night t-shirt on my dresser, you can change to them in the bathroom.” She smiled and disappeared behind the door. Alexander took a deep breath and wondered why he was acting like that. He had tried to remain professional this whole time but whenever he was around her in private he just could not concentrate.

While she was gone he tried to even out his breathing, yet it was slightly difficult for him to do so. He knew there was something wrong with him. He was not supposed to feel that way and so far he had been quite successful in suppressing his emotions, but with Ana who’s becoming more and more beautiful and enticing each day he found it a little difficult to remain neutral.

Ever since she was young he had always had a form of affection toward her that he was not supposed to have since she was technically his employer, yet Ana was so sweet, smart and beautiful. How could he possibly keep his heart distance? He was a man too.

He cursed under his breath when he heard she unlocked the door and stepped out wearing a soothing golden night gown which really complimented her blonde hair. From the distance he could see the shape of her nipple poking out from the fabric as an indication that she was not wearing a bra. Which was usual for her at night once she was dressed for bed.

At the same time Alexander had also changed to a guard t-shirt that Ana for some strange reason kept in her place. He appeared more relaxed, she smiled at him and walked over to her bed, she picked up a bottle of calming blend essential oil and poured it over the diffuser before turning the machine on, letting the scented vapor to fill the room. She also turned on her music player and set it to a soft relaxing classical music.

“You know, I have been doing this for a long time now. Nobody knows this little ritual of mine. I always love sleeping while listening to the music. Pure silence kills me.” She climbed up to the bed and rested her head on the silk covered pillow.

“Alex, will you stay with me in this room tonight? I’m not feeling too well after what happened. I can’t be alone tonight.” For a brief moment Alexander saw the figment of the young Anastasia which he used to know. The one who would sneak in the middle of the night to his room and fell asleep there. He could not help but smile.

He climbed up to the bed following her and rested his head as well. They were facing each other and their eyes told more stories than their lips could.

“I don’t know why but I get a strong sense of déjà vu from this.”

“What do you mean by that, Ana?”

“It feels like the old times. I haven’t had someone sleeping beside me for so long. It makes me wonder what it feels like again. Now I remember.” Her eyes were so sincere, there was only innocence in them.

“To tell you the truth, Alex, I miss it.” It was like a flow of electricity river was rushing through his skin when those words escaped her lips. It was a part of Ana he had always admired. No matter what the circumstance was, she was always such an honest woman.

“Ana, I know this is not my place to say this but I would like to tell you that despite what your family may say or want for you, this is your own life and you should live it according to your own ways and desires. If this engagement is not what you want, I think you should find a way to cancel it.” When she heard it, Ana took a deep breath and sighed.

“I wish it was all that simple, some people may be able to do whatever they want in life, they have the freedom to do so, but unfortunately I was born in this family. We both should know here that every actions have a consequence, including every decision I make. I have to be careful.” Both of them knew that much, still, they both wished there was a way out of it.

“Now, let’s stop dwelling in sorrow of what we cannot change. Let’s sleep.” She gave him one last smile before closing her eyes. However, Alexander refused to close his eyes and sleep. He would rather watch her sleeping instead of doing it himself. He observed each oart of her face, every lines, every curves she had. In the end he could find nothing but absolute perfection. In his eyes, Anastasia was perfect in every way.

Though each time he had the chance to stare at her like that, he also felt a pang of sadness within him. The thought of never being able to fully have her for himself killed him inside. Still, at the moment all he could think of was how lucky and grateful he was that he could at least remain by her side. Although deep within he had wished for more.

Once he was sure she was asleep, he slowly got up from the bed and leaned over to her side. Gently, he placed a kiss first on her forehead, then on her cheeks and lastly, he planted a small kiss on her lips.

“Goodnight my dear Anya.” With that, he got up from the bed and walked toward the door. Sparing her one last glance, he left the room and closed it.

What he did not realize was Ana had yet to be asleep. Once he left, she opened her eyes slowly and moved her fingers to her lips.

“Alexander… you never changed after all.”