Shattered and alone

Isabella’s pov

Camilla had barely parked my bag in our apartment before she turned to me, her eyes soft but heavy with concern.

“Bella… I’m sorry, dear. I think you should rest,” she said, voice gentle. “Stop thinking about all this. If he’s meant for you, he’ll come back. You guys… you’ll reconcile. Just… rest, okay?”

I nodded numbly, the words barely registering. She was right, of course. Maybe he would come back. But right now… my chest felt like it had been hollowed out, leaving a raw, aching emptiness. I didn’t even have the energy to argue.

Camilla gave me a quick, awkward hug, ruffling my hair like she used to when we were kids. “Promise me you’ll try to rest. And Bella… don’t blame yourself too much, okay?”

I tried to nod again, but the lump in my throat made it impossible. She gave me a final pat on the shoulder, smiled weakly, and left. The door clicked shut behind her, leaving me in silence.

I sank down onto the sofa, pressing my face into my hands. Every inch of my body was exhausted from the crying, the shame, the humiliation from earlier. My phone buzzed in my bag, but I didn’t reach for it. I didn’t want to hear any messages, any calls. I didn’t want to face the world. They are all calling to confirm my downfall.

“Bella,” a voice said softly from the doorway. I lifted my head to see Emily standing there, she had just taken in some of our bags in, her expression a mixture of worry and anger. “Sister… it’s only us now. It’s only you and me. You’re my only family… we have each other atleast. That’s all we’ve got.”

I looked at her and felt tears sting my eyes again. “Emily… I… I don’t know what to do. I… I can’t… everything’s broken…” My voice cracked and disappeared in another sob.

Emily shook her head firmly, walking over to kneel beside me. “No, Bella. You shouldn’t see it like that. This… this isn’t the end of your life. Yes, he left, and yes, it hurts like hell, but that doesn’t mean… that doesn’t mean you’ve lost everything. You’re still here. I’m still here. You’re not alone. Okay. Now, you need to go shower and change, and… you know… try to breathe for a moment. Just one step at a time.”

I pressed my hands against her shoulders, letting myself collapse against her. “But… Emily… he should trust me! Why… why would he just see me with someone and… and leave? He knew me… he knew I would never… I never… I couldn’t have—” My words fell apart, swallowed by tears.

Emily cupped my face with both hands, eyes glistening. “I know, Bella. I know you didn’t. I trust you. You didn’t do it. He should trust you too. And he will, in time, he will. You just… you have to hold on a little, okay?”

I shook my head again, choking on my tears. “Emily… I’m sorry. I know you trusted me… but I failed you. I… I did it…”

Emily froze. “Wait… what? You… you did what?”

I let my face bury in my hands, sobs shaking my whole body. “I… I did it. I don’t even know how it happened… I was drunk yesterday. You… you left me with Camilla, and I… I don’t even remember it clearly. I asked her to take me to… I thought I was going to Sebastian’s room. I… I wanted to see him… I just… I just wanted… I can still remember asking her to take me there… and… and she opened the door, pushed me inside to make sure I got in… and then… she left.”

Emily’s eyes widened, shock and worry flickering across her face. “Bella… you didn’t…”

“I did,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “I don’t know how it happened… I ended up in that man’s room… and… and… we… we did the deed…”

The words hit the air like a dagger, sharp and jagged. Emily went silent for a few seconds, staring at me as if the ground itself had cracked beneath our feet. “Oh… no… sister… you… you didn’t…”

I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tears streamed down my cheeks in hot rivers. “I… I didn’t mean it, Emily! I… I swear! I was drunk! I didn’t know what I was doing! Please… you have to believe me!”

She pulled me into a tight embrace, holding me as though she could shield me from the pain, from the world, from myself. I buried my face into her shoulder, crying into the fabric of her clothes. “I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry… I failed… I failed you… I failed myself… I failed him…”

Emily rocked me gently, whispering, “Shhh… it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Enough of the cries now. Enough. You’ve cried enough for today, Bella. Just… go take a shower. Wash off everything. Start to feel human again. Breathe again. Okay?”

I sniffled, nodding against her shoulder. She was right. I had to try to gather myself, even if just a little. I pushed myself to my feet, wiping my tears on the back of my hands.

“One step at a time,” Emily said softly, holding the bathroom door open for me. “One step at a time.”

I managed a weak smile, even as my body still trembled. I took one step forward… and then another.

But then the world tilted violently. My legs buckled beneath me. I gasped, trying to scream, but the sound was swallowed by the emptiness. My vision blurred, darkened at the edges, and I felt myself collapsing like a marionette with its strings cut.

Emily’s hands shot out instinctively. “Bella!” she yelled, reaching for me, but it was too late. I hit the floor with a soft thud, consciousness slipping away like water through a sieve.

The last thing I felt was the warmth of Emily’s hands brushing against my arms, her worried voice echoing in my ears, and the overwhelming, crushing sense that the world had completely fallen apart.

And then… darkness.