Chapter-36 Shock (Part 2)

My head snapped up. “What?”

The doctor smiled gently. “The test came back negative. It was a very close call, though. You’re already two days late, which means you’re right on the edge of your window.”

I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. My shoulders slumped.

“You need to be extremely careful going forward. I suggest you take your shot again today and make sure you’re renewing it on time as prescribed. Next time… you may not be so lucky.”

All I could do was nod. Numb. Relieved, but hollow. And even though the very thought of Nico touching me right now made my stomach twist, I still agreed to the shot. I needed that certainty.

“I will wait outside then,” Amara said and giving me a reassuring nod, she walked away.

“So, I will walk through the details first,” the doctor smiled. I couldn’t reciprocate with one, of course, so I just nodded. Fifteen minutes later, I was off to the waiting room with a final warning to get my next shot in time.

“It’s done,” I murmured.

Amara let out a slow breath and smiled. “Thank God. Nothing to worry about now.”

But her calmness cracked something inside me. Tears welled up in my eyes before I could stop them. I sank into the seat beside her and pressed my hands to my face.

“Gianna…” Amara exclaimed softly, looking surprised. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong, sweetie? Are you still worried? It’s done, there’s nothing to worry about.” I kept sobbing, all the panic and fear slowly pushing out of my system.

“Gianna…tell me what happened, please,” Amara pleaded. “I’m kind of worried.” I managed to stop crying, and before I could stop myself, I blurted out all that had happened and how Nico reacted this morning.

“He probably never wants kids, Sorella,” I sobbed into my palms. “You should’ve seen the way he reacted. Like I’d betrayed him. Like I was some... burden.”

Amara’s arms wrapped around me tightly. “Gianna, hey... It’s okay. Let it out.” I cried harder. I hadn’t realized his reaction hurt me that much.

She held me for a while, stroking my hair, until my breathing calmed a little.

“Nico’s been through a lot,” she murmured finally. “You know, Alessandro wasn’t just a bad father. He was... cruel. That man destroyed every ounce of softness Nico had left. Made him feel like love was weakness. Made him watch things a child never should. Nico didn’t grow up with the kind of love that normal kids do. He grew up learning how to survive. And the truth is... I was just like him.”

I pulled back slightly, blinking at her. “You?”

She nodded. “When I got pregnant for the first time, I was terrified. Out of my mind. I didn’t feel joy. I felt dread. Not because I didn’t want them, but because of the world we live in. A world where safety is an illusion. I was scared something would happen to Leo, or me, or the baby. I wasn’t ready. I was never going to be enough on my own.”

“How did you cope?” I asked quietly.

“Leo. He came to my rescue, like he always does. He held me through every breakdown. Every spiral. He kept saying, ‘When they come, you’ll be ready. More than ready.’ And he was right. The moment I held Ares and Lucio in my arms, I knew. I was ready,”

She laughed softly, wiping at the corner of her eye. “But that didn’t mean it was easy. There were nights I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours. I messed up more times than I can count. It’s never been perfect.”

“You make it look so easy,” I murmured.

Amara shook her head with a fond smile. “It was Leo. I did it with him. One step at a time.” I swallowed hard.

But Nico is not Leo. He doesn’t look at me the way Leo looks at her. He doesn’t love me like that.

“What if Nico is never ready?” I whispered.

She turned to me, her expression soft but resolute. “He will be. When it’s time, he will be. No fear can stand tall when you hold your child in your arms. Trust me.”

Her hand found mine again, squeezing it warmly. “Don’t worry. It’ll all work out for the best.” I nodded slowly, wiping away the remaining tears, still unsure if I believed her, but grateful she was here.

“Come home with me,” Amara offered gently. “Let’s have lunch. Ares and Lucio will be so excited to see their zia. They’ve been dying to show off their new Play-Doh nonsense. You’ll get a headache, but it’s adorable.”

That brought the first smile to my lips in hours.

“Okay,” I said.

Nico can wait for the answers.

Amara was right. Spending the afternoon with my nephews did cheer me up, but it was short-lived, the heaviness settling in again as the car pulled into the driveway.

“Thank you, Franco,” I mumbled to my driver as I climbed out. “Good night.”

“Good night, senora,” he said with a small smile.

Nico was pacing the living room like a caged lion, his jaw tight, his hands raking through his hair in frustration. The second his eyes landed on me, they flared wide—then narrowed into sharp, furious slits.

“Where the hell have you been?” he barked, voice thunderous. “Your phone was off! I’ve been calling for hours. Then I hear from my men that you’re at Amara’s? What the fuck, Gianna? Do you even realize how out of my mind I was?”

I didn’t say a word. Just walked past him, grabbed the envelope from my bag, and tossed it on the table with a flat expression.

“What’s that?” he muttered, snatching it up.

“My reports,” I said, pouring myself a glass of water, hands trembling just enough for me to notice. “You have your answers there.”

“You think after all this I have the patience for reading a damn fucking report?” Nico snapped. “Just fucking tell me what is it Gianna! Are you pregnant or are you not?”

“No, I am not pregnant, Nico!” I almost shouted, glaring at him and even shocking him a bit. “There, that makes you happy now?”

His entire body seemed to deflate at once. He closed his eyes and dragged his palms down his face, like he’d just narrowly escaped a nightmare.

“Thank God,” he breathed out. “I’m sorry I lost it. I just—I can’t handle a scare like that again. This can’t happen again, Gianna,” he continued, his tone clipped and cold now. “I can’t afford it. Not now. Not ever. So please, be more careful. If you want, I’ll keep track of your shots. Set reminders. Whatever it takes.”

I cannot believe he was just babbling off like that.

Did he just say “afford”?

Like the idea of a baby—our baby—was some kind of liability. Like it was poison in his veins. He was scared. I understood that. But this…this was something else.

“What is it?” Nico demanded, finally realizing I hadn’t spoken a word since handing him the reports. “Aren’t you happy?”

“Do you… Do you never want children?” My voice was barely above a whisper.

He blinked, caught off guard. And then, slowly, his expression shifted—softness disappearing, replaced by that cold, impenetrable mask he wore so often.

“No,” he said flatly. “I don’t want kids, Gianna. Ever.”

“Why?” I asked, the word cracking in my throat.

“Because I can’t,” he replied, each syllable heavy with finality. “I’m not the kind of man who can be a father, Gianna. I will never bring a child into this world—this fucking dark, disgusting world. Ever.”

“But Leo did it…” I whispered, stunned. “Xavier did it…”

“I’m not Leo,” he snapped. “And I’m not Xavier. I am me. And I am anything but father material, Gianna. I’d rather let this legacy die with me than bring an innocent child into this mess. There won’t be another Nicholas Baldocchi. Ever.”

Silence swelled between us.

“Then what about us?” I asked, my voice trembling now. “What are we even doing, Nico? What will we live for? What will I live for? There’s no love in my life—you made that clear. And now you want to take away the only thing that might’ve added even the smallest trace of happiness in mine?” I shook my head, choking on my breath. “What will sustain this marriage, Nico? How are we going to keep going?”

“The way we’re doing it now,” he said without hesitation. “The way we’ve been doing it these past few days. It’s been good, hasn’t it? You said you enjoyed it. And so did I…”

I stared at him like I didn’t even know who he was anymore.

“You want to sustain our marriage on sex?” I asked, voice rising in disbelief.

“I didn’t—” He paused, jaw clenched. “You said this was our middle ground, Gianna.”

My heart pounded in my ears. My legs trembled, and tears burned the backs of my eyes.

“But what if I want kids someday?” I asked, the words falling from my lips before I could stop them.

Nico’s face went hard—eyes narrowing, jaw tightening.

“I’m sorry,” he said, cold and cruel in his calmness. “But that’s a dream you need to let go.” And with that, he turned his back on me and walked away, leaving me standing there, shattered and alone. Again.

I was so shocked, I didn’t even know how to respond to this. I just stood there blankly, staring at the space until my phone rang with a text message. With shaking hands, I pulled out my phone and stared at the screen.

Maximus:

I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

I hope you’re having a good night.