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Mix Of Shame

Author: Livia
last update Last Updated: 2025-10-16 00:01:31

KASSY

“I think the honeymoon should be somewhere far,” my mom says, her voice soft but excited.

I nod, pretending to listen, pretending to care. “Yeah, far sounds nice.”

But I’m barely hearing her. My mind drifts in and out, floating somewhere between exhaustion and that constant ache I can’t seem to get rid of. The house feels smaller these days, like the walls are closing in slowly, inch by inch.

My mother continues talking, going on about beaches and destinations, Greece, Paris, Dubai and al
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  • The Man Who Taught Me Sin    Silenced Points

    Kassy's POV “What an asshole,” Jenny says, shaking her head as she takes a sip of her drink.I chuckle softly, more tired than amused.“Bringing his lover home?” she continues. “God, Kassy, I have no idea what you even saw in that guy that made you chase him for years.”I shrug, lifting my shoulders slightly. I honestly can’t explain it. I loved Shawn for years just because he was Shawn. There was no grand reason, no moment I could point to. I just liked him. Somewhere along the line, that liking turned into love, deep and consuming, and I didn’t even realize when it happened.“I’m just glad all those feelings you had for him that took over your brain are dead,” Jenny says bluntly.I sip on my juice because well I couldn't take wine.We had come down to a bar to relax. Somewhere quiet, not too crowded. The kind of place where thoughts could wander without being interrupted by noise or people staring.For a while, we sat in silence. But my mind doesn’t stay quiet. It drifts, inevitab

  • The Man Who Taught Me Sin    Slip Up Situations

    Kassy's POVI have no idea how I even found myself here.I was sitting in my car, fingers resting loosely on the steering wheel, staring at the place I shouldn’t be staring at. A place I shouldn’t even come near at all.D and D.The place that ruined the delusion that is supposed to be perfect. The place that changed me. The place that corrupted me and got me addicted to one man I was never supposed to fall for.Just seeing the sign made my chest tighten.The thought that he might be in there right now made my stomach twist painfully. Derrick, Inside that building. Touching someone else. Kissing someone else, fucking someone elseThe image burned in my head.It made my blood boil.And I hated myself for it.I had no right to feel jealous. No right to feel angry, no right to feel anything at all.Derrick doesn’t belong to me.He never did.I’m not special to him. I was just another woman who walked into his life, paid for lessons, crossed lines she shouldn’t have crossed, and wal

  • The Man Who Taught Me Sin    Dead Feelings

    Kassy s POVI straightened on the bed with a slow yawn, my body heavy like I had not really slept. My eyes stayed on the ceiling for a few seconds, just staring.Then I pushed myself up and slid my feet onto the floor. I needed coffee.I didn’t even know if Shawn came back last night. Honestly, I didn’t care. That thought should have hurt, but it didn’t. It just felt empty, like something that should matter but no longer did.I chuckle. I really stopped loving him, like the love just died?I walked downstairs, still yawning, still half lost in my thoughts. Then I see her.A woman was standing by the coffee machine, dressed in pajamas that were definitely not mine. She looked too relaxed, too comfortable, like she had woken up here. I slowed down as I walked toward her. My heart didn’t race. It didn’t sink either. It just felt… flat.She must have heard my footsteps because she turned around.“Who are you?” I asked.She looked me up and down, not in a curious way, but in a lazy, alm

  • The Man Who Taught Me Sin    A Game Too Loud

    Kassy’s POV“Did you have sex with him?”I stare at Shawn.Lying to him feels pointless. The hickeys on my neck are still fresh, red against my skin. There is no way someone gets marks like that from just talking.“Yes, I did,” I say.What I don’t understand is why Shawn looks like this.Why is he angry?“Why are you angry?” I let out before I can stop myself.Shawn stares at me like he can’t believe what I just asked.“Why am I angry?” he repeats. “Why am I angry? Why am I fucking angry? You dare ask me that?”He starts pacing the room like a caged animal, his hands running through his hair, his jaw tight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this worked up. Shawn is always calm with me, always distant, always uninterested. Even when I cried over him, he barely blinked.“Are you dumb, Kassy?” he snaps. “It’s our fucking wedding. Our freaking wedding. And you left me in our reception hall and went to fuck another man.”I swallow.“It’s a sham marriage, Shawn.”He lets out a dry, humorles

  • The Man Who Taught Me Sin    Separated Lines

    Kassy“Where are you going?” Derrick asked, and he had the audacity to look confused.I stared at him like he had lost his mind.“Back to my husband,” I snapped. “You know, because I’m married.” My voice shook, anger and panic mixing together. “What do you even mean you want us to be together? You want me to go and divorce him? This is insane. I’m insane for even being here with you, and you’re insane for saying that to me.”The words came out sharp and bitter but I didn’t take them back.I sighed, running my hand through my hair.We were still in the car. Still in the mess we had created just minutes ago. My body was tired, my heart even more exhausted.“You’re insane,” I said again, my voice quieter this time as I reached for my clothes. “I don’t even know why I keep ending up in this position with you.”I pulled my dress back on with shaky hands and pushed the car door open.Before I could step out, Derrick rushed forward and slammed the door shut.The sound echoed inside the car.

  • The Man Who Taught Me Sin    Winged Out

    KassyI almost dropped the piece of paper on the ground.My fingers trembled as I unfolded it, my heart slamming so hard against my chest it felt painful, like it wanted out. The words blurred for a second, then came into focus.Come outside….Left wing….I need to see you. —DerrickDerrick is here?My pulse roared in my ears.How is Derrick here?My mind scrambled, thoughts colliding into each other. Shawn glanced at me, concern flickering across his face. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his hand brushing my arm.I had no idea what he saw on my face, but it must have been something alarming for him to show concern.I nodded quickly. “I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile that felt stiff and foreign on my lips.The lie slid out easily. Too easily.“I… I need some fresh air,” I added, already pushing my chair back.“Okay,” Shawn said“I’ll be right back,” I turned and walked away before he could say anything else, my heels clicking against the floor far too loudly.What am I even doing?

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