Chapter 3: If Only...

Athena's pov

My eyes were clouded by the remains of sleep when I looked at him, not fully accessing the danger I had stepped into.

“Raphael?”

However I became fully alert when he pressed the burning tip of his cigar on my arm, a searing pain shot through my body from that spot.

In an instant I was awake and upright, breathing heavily as I tried to grasp what. just happened to me. Raphael pushed forward and grabbed my chin squeezing it and his hand applying enough pressure to do everything but completely shutter my jaw bone.

“A worthless piece of trash like you is going to bed before me, who do you think you are?”

I sniffled, trying to formulate words why my mouth was still trapped between his aching grip, and failing to do so which only compounded his anger.

He threw me at the bed, my back knocking against the headboard, I cried out and curled up on the bed.

 “Raphael, I'm sorry please–”

He got on the bed and threw a punch at my face.

“Haven't I warned you never to call me by my name without adding my title? Have you forgotten what you are?” He grabbed my hair pulling my upper body up by the strands.

“Let me remind you, you are a breeder. Someone who ranks even lower than an Omega, we shouldn't even be sharing the same air!”

“Then let me go!” I cried out miserably in my pain, “just let me go, I'll find work and pay back all the money that you invested in my father's company…just please…” I broke down into tears, pathetic sloppy tears.

He watched me as every muscle in his face translated his pure disgust. He shoved me away and this time it was the side of my face that hit the headboard.

 I let out another scream, but he grabbed me and pushed my face against a pillow.

“Shut up! Breeders should be seen but not heard!”

He grabbed my nightgown and tore it off with one pull. Intentionally applying just enough pressure to snap it off after the straps on my shoulder had sunk deep enough into my skin.

 Five hours later and he was still going at it, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that I was somewhere else, anywhere else but here.

I needed to go to my happy place; where was that ? Nobody had ever made me feel safe or protected.

All that came before my eyes was a sheet of darkness, and the painful remembrance that I had never, not even once, been loved.

 Finally he was done, with only 2 hours of sleep left for me before dawn came.

That will be enough time to heal most of the injuries, he was thoughtful enough to leave the worst of the bruises on places on my body that would easily be covered by clothes.

I don't know why he bothered pretending, everyone already knew how he treated me. Was it really going to be a big deal if people found out that he was a full-blown sadist?

I turned my head on the pillow to look at him, fast asleep. His face was so relaxed, he looked nothing like the man that was constantly tormenting me.

 I raised my hand like it weighed more than my entire body, then with the gentleness of a feather brushed it across his cheek, I tensed as the corner of his eye wrinkled slightly.

But after holding my breath for 5 seconds it relaxed and he remained asleep, my heart started beating normally again and I swallowed a deep breath slowly so as not to make much noise.

 I repeated this motion a couple more times, during which I imagined that instead of being merely a breeder, I was his beloved Luna.

That we had met under different circumstances, with no baggage behind us and our eyes were met with loving affection and nothing else.

If only…

When we woke up next to each other in bed, would I be cuddled in his arms? His voice slipping from his lips like a soft serenade as he whispered sweet nothing in my ear? When I looked at him, would his eyes be full of me and only me?

I  closed my eyes to hold back the tears, why did I do this to myself?

Picturing a future that would never be, indulging in a fantasy that left me dry and lonelier each time I dived in?

Morning came quickly, the precious minutes I had wasted fawning over him in his sleep came to bite me in the butt.

Five o'clock sharp.

I always had to be awake by this time while others were still fast asleep, the reason? Raphael claimed I was so lazy and I had to make use of myself somehow as soon as possible.

I think that was the reason he had given me, not like he really needed a reason to mistreat me.

He was the Alpha, nobody would question him but I guess the shreds of conscience that he had left made him inclined to justify the baseline of decency that he treated me with.

As I did every other morning, I prepared a metallic bone filled with piping hot water and I was holding a hand towel with my left hand. I placed them at his feet and began to wash it after he got up.

 The scalding heat that came from the water and soaked into the towels pressing until my hand every time I rubbed the bottom of his feet was mind numbing, I had learned to make the water at hot as possible because if I didn't do that he would wait for me to be done and then tell me to make another bowl until it reached the heat that satisfied him.

As I winced and washed he casually said; “I'm having a guest today,” I paused briefly with my washing.

“Who?” I asked without thinking, meeting his eyes. They flashed with rage.

“I'm sorry,” I apologized looking down, “it's not my place to know who visits you,” he rubbed my head, petting me like a stray dog.

“Don't worry, my guest is someone you already know.”