Chapter 3: Borrowed Flesh

Seraphine’s POV

The candles went off, and only the morning light slipped through the curtains. 

I sat in the middle of it with my legs crossed and my new hands open on my knees. 

My whole body felt like it had been dragged behind a horse all night. I felt hurt in everything part of my body, emotionally and physically. 

I took a slow deep breath and tried to feel the power again. It answered me quickly. 

Violet sparks circled across my fingertips before I even knew it. I jerked my hands apart and the sparks shot to the wall. 

The old wood cracked loudly and I flinched hard.

“Calm down,” I told myself. My voice still sounded strange in my ears.

“Just calm down.”

I closed my eyes and tried again. This time I pictured a small light, just enough to see the room. 

I felt the magic rise inside my chest, warm and eager, and I pushed it gently toward my palm.

A ball of violet fire exploded in my hand.

I screamed and threw it away from me. It hit the table and the whole thing went up in flames. 

Bowls crashed, herbs scattered and smoke was everywhere in the room.

“No no no!” I jumped up and hit the fire with a blanket. 

My heart hammered so badly, then the flames died down slowly, leaving the table scorched and smoking.

I stood there panting, and staring at the mess I created. My hands shook badly and tears stung my eyes again.

I used to run for miles without getting tired. 

I used to shift and feel my wolf stretch inside me like warm sunlight. 

Now I couldn’t even make a tiny light without burning the house down.

I dropped to my knees in the ashes and pressed my forehead to the floor. My chest felt empty and hollow. 

It was as if someone carved out the place where my wolf lived and left a hole that would never close.

Where are you? I thought. 

I reached inside for her the way I had a thousand times before but she didn’t answer. 

But then… I kept feeling that pull. A tiny tug, far away as if a thread pulled me miles away in the forest. 

I sat up fast and my breath hitched.

The tug came again, this time was stronger. I assumed it was homesickness, rage and love all twisted together.

Rhydian.

Despite the betrayal this new body knew his name, and my heart still skipped when I mentioned his name.  

pressed my hand over the reversed mark on my ribs as it burned hot under my palm.

So he did this, despite the love we shared? I still can’t believe he held the dagger and killed me. 

The magic angrily flared again, this time it was ready to burn everything. I forced it down with everything I had. 

My teeth clenched so tight till my jaw ached.

I needed control. 

If I was going to walk back into Shadowfang I could not be a walking bomb. I spent the next hours trying again and again.

I lifted a cup. It flew across the room and shattered against the wall.

I tried to light one candle. All twelve burst into purple flame. I whispered for the wind and the curtains ripped off the rod and wrapped around me like ropes.

Every failure made the hollow place inside me ache worse. Yes… every time the magic slipped I saw Lysandra’s smile in my head. 

I saw Rhydian’s face when the blade went in. I felt my blood on the stone.

By midday I was on the floor again, sweat ran down my skin, and hair stuck to my face. My arms shook from holding back the power that wanted to explode.

I don’t think I can do this. I…I… I don’t think I can control this. So I’m going to die in this body before I ever see him again.

I curled on my side and hugged my knees to my chest. Tears flowed down quietly, I didn't cry out loud, I just cried brokenly. 

I missed my wolf so much it felt like dying all over again.

I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through the pain. 

In the darkness while my eyelids were closed, I remembered my wolf…his eolf… no, my wolf. 

Why was she inside him?

The truth slammed into me. I couldn't think properly. My wolf hadn’t died with me. When he broke the bond, when he killed me on that altar, something went wrong. 

The ritual tore her out of me and shoved her into him. He carried her now. 

I miss my fierce, loyal girl who was trapped inside the man who murdered me.

At least, my wolf was alive. That alone is something. 

I could feel her fighting and clawing inside of his chest, howling, begging to be free. 

She knew I was here and she felt me the same way I felt her. I can tell. 

And he kept her locked up like a prisoner.

Rage burned hotter than any magic I had touched today. I stood up slowly and my legs felt steady for the first time since I woke up in this body.

I looked around the ruined room. There was a broken mirror, broken wood and scattered herbs. Though, it didn’t matter anymore. 

I knew what I had to do.

I walked to the cracked mirror and stared at the stranger wearing my soul. My eyes glowed faint violets now, not icy blue.

“I’m coming,” I said to the reflection. My voice didn’t shake. “I’m coming for both of you.”

I turned to the wardrobe in the corner. Elowen’s clothes hung neat and dark. Long black dresses, silver chains, and boots that probably walked through fire. 

I pulled out the darkest dress and yanked it on. The fabric sent chills down my skin.

I tied my hair back with a strip of cloth. 

Every step I took toward the door the thread pulled tighter. Pain, love and fury all mixed together was welcomed now. 

It meant my wolf was still fighting, which meant I still had something left to save.

I opened the door and cold forest air rushed in. Still? I stepped outside and didn’t look back.

And then it happened, a wolf’s howl tore through the air. 

It was long, sounded broken, so full of pain and rage. Funny how it didn’t come from the trees, nor from any wolf running free. It came from inside Rhydian. 

My knees almost gave out but I grabbed the door frame quickly to stay standing. 

The howl went on and on, it shook my bones and called out my name without words. 

She knew I was coming… my wolf knew I was coming. 

And very soon he was going to find out that I never really left.