Fourteenth - How the Real Player Play the Game?

“Hello po, Senator?”

I answered over my phone as the Senator called off. I was still in tense as of knowing that our professor declared that he won't give any special quizzes to us, in additional on what happened last day. It's totally burst out.

“I heared, you cut a classes two times. Is it true?” I could overheard the thunder in his voice.

Damn. I'm speechless, I don't know what word to utter as a reply to him. I feel like being toasted by my own sheep. He's the senator who I am being scholar. It's definitely not good, I know it, and the fact that he knew it, I'm doomed. I never expect him to knew this that fast although I know he has a lot of connections in the University, it was still unnecessary, that the news flew that instant.

I feel like I'm going to fell off the floor anytime. I knew it, cutting classes would never be a great idea but I still did it. Alam ko nang mayroong mangyayaring hindi maganda after nun but I still did it. I don't know what to say or reply on him. I'm afraid that he might not like the outcome of the words I would tell. In other wise, I don't want to make up things for an excuse cause it would just put an additional burden in my chest as of the moment.

Uhh. Prevention is better than sorry nga talaga

It's hard. I don't want him to think that everything he sustain to me were just a waste.

“Asthreittle, answer me.”

I blink, thinking of what to say and a sudden thought comes up into my mind.

“M-Mr. Senator..” I bite my lower lip.

Damn it. I hate Crizeliah for being too urgent of doing such a things towards that website without even realizing that there's some things getting messed around.

“May committee meeting ho kami... that's why we absent..”

Is lying typically used to get impeccable? I don't know what to reply on him that it end up lying made itself definitive in my head. I don't want to lie. That's true but, the state I'm being with is too complicated and to the point that it left me out with no fucking choice but to lie. If I would tell the truth, would it make any sense? If I tell the senator the real reason why I freaking left my math class is to went to a bar and take an unexplainable documents without any means to me, would it be too valid to be believe?

I don't know. I don't want to tell the truth either—not because I want to lie intentionally but because I know that it would left an erroneous thought in his head. Ano nalang ang iisipin niya if he find out that we're finding the person responsible for an exposure of politician's dirt when there is a fact that the one sustaining my education is part of the Government and a Senator?

I sigh.

Maybe situations as this couldn't just really run off from our lives. Getting stuck in between saying truth but would technically brought more burden ahead, and substituting it by a lie that would surely cease the catastrophe.

“Ice cream?”

I glared at Marcus as he offered me a cup of ice cream he's devouring. We're both in the ice cream house right after my classes. At first, I was thinking to invite him in my apartment cause I was kinda bothered if someone might see us together and the Senator knew this would think I'm dating someone in the middle of school year! But in an instance, that though immediately ceased in my head when I suddenly think in the worst possibility that if the Senator knew this, he might think that we're doing something the fact that he has monitor in the whole apartment!

Shit, I'm getting paranoid in the possible circumstances that would happened kung hindi pa ako mag iingat. I don't want a worst to happen.

“Ewan ko sayo,” I frown and glared at the glass wall.

How could he be this chill while he I am, overthinking too much. Can he atleast join my burden? Bakit ba siya pa ang tinawagan ko? Right, I called Marcus cause he's the only person nearby when the senator called. I want someone to get this burden out off my chest. May tiwala naman ako kay Marcus kaya ayos lang. Beside, he's the only option lang naman. If I would call Xheidan, it's seriously impossible that he'll be fine hearing these words from me. If kay Crizeliah, well, I'm still pissed on her because of the last day. If kay Tax naman, my horror lang na baka tawanan niya lang ako.

“Sige na. Ice cream could lessen the infuriate,” He offered me again. I want to grimace on him like, duh? Why would he offer me a cup of ice cream he's eating?

“I'm not infuriated. I'm just..” I looked down. I'm guilty? I'm worried? I don't know.

“You're not fine, that's understandable. So here, ice cream,” He offered me again. Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang kumuha ng bagong spoon ang mag scoop doon.

Bumuntong hininga ako.

“You know, dapat hindi ka nalang sumama last time,” He uttered.

“How could I?! I left out with no choice!” I scowled.

“You can just easily reject, dapat sinabi mong hindi mo gustong sumama. But it's already done so it's not worth to think about,”

I pressed my lips altogether.

“Parang kasalanan ko pa,” Masama ang loob na sabi ko.

“I'm not blaming you, Asthreittle. I was just saying that, you have a right to refuse to go with,”

“Lahat kayo nandodooon habang ako hindi sasama?” I grasped.

“Yes,”

“Edi ang useless ko sa team?”

Marcus took a deep breathe. Parang nahihirapan pa siyang ipaintindi saakin.

“Look, refusing something for something you think is more important has a validity. Not because you refuse to go with us with a valid reason, means that you are being useless. It's just choosing your priority which is your study,” He explained.

I somehow get his point.

“Si Tax, did he always come with us? Hindi, diba? He always have quizzes, he has this kind of schedule and we do understand that. Diba, Asthreittle? And if the time comes na ikaw naman, I'm sure that we could understand.”

I protruded my lips. He's kind of right. It's partly my fault for going with them without full heartedly fine with it. But in somehow, I want to put the blame in other hands, I'm tire of taking all the outh.

“We're in the same classes,” I uttered. Being party realizing all his words.

“But you're not in the same state and perspective. If you do believe that your classes is important and they don't believe the same way, it's fine. Follow your urge. You don't have to change your belief just to be similar in their's. Matanda ka na, you already know how to chose a thing you know is best.”

Hanggang sa makauwi ako sa apartment ay hindi ko parin makalimutan ang sinabi ni Marcus. It's all cupping my entire system and mind. He's words were to embracing the all emotions in me. I felt like he's right, he really is. I did have a wrong and responsible on what have happened on me. Lahat naman talaga ng ginagawa natin ay may epekto sa atin, either a good one or a bad one, it's depends on the decision we made.

In that case, I knew I have a bad in somehow. I know Crizeliah was into going and taking the document and don't mind what will happened next but I could really just refuse to go with them, kahit si Xheidan ay sumama pa. I have already a mind to not depend in other's decisions. Kayang kaya ko namang tumanggi pero sumama parin ako.

In additional, muktik na rin kaming mapahamak noong araw na iyon!

“Who said we take this for you?”

I glared at Xheidan and pinched his hands in my wrist. Shit, they were obviously an authorities that would take the documents kung hindi lang namin sila naunahan and if Xheidan would mess with them, mapapahamak kami. Although we all know na kami talaga ang nakauna.

“Cause we'll end up having this too. Umalis na kayo,” one man who look like a half foreign said. Napatingin ako sakasama niya at saka napag tantong pamilyar siya. He's the one who take the documents way back in the coffee shop before, I also saw him in our apartment building, he's also the one who took the documents in the admin office last time. Damn, he's one of the investigators dealing with this. I'm now currently thinking is he was Reigh or Joe—the names I everheared when I listen through their phone calls.

“That's. Ours.” Xheidan uttered. He look calmly infront of them habang ako ay halos mamatay na sa kaba! Unfair.

“I see no owner identification,” The familiar one said. Damn, his voice is kinda frightening.

Xheidan curved a smirk “That is mine,”

What the hell is he saying? I know we seen it first but what he is doing might bring us trouble! Gustong gusto kong bumulong sa ear device pero baka mahalata nila.

“Minors. Ano kaya ang ginagawa ng dalawang minors sa loob ng isang exclusive VIP bar room? There's a policy that minors are not allowed here,” The white one grin.

What the hell! I know I'm small but I'm not minor anymore, I'm already had my illegality age a months ago!

“You're not sure,” Xheidan replied. I felt him harden my knuckles.

“Ikaw, oo. But this girl,” He sideways his look at me.

I felt a chills climb up into my spine. His look, parang mamamatay na ako.

I saw Xheidan glanced atme before looking at them again.

“Umuwi na kayo. Just let us handle this document,” The familiar guy told us. Nag tama ang mga mata namin.

“You're familiar,”

Oh gosh! Siya rin ba? What are we here? Getting to know each other?

I slightly nodded.

“Sa susunod, h'wag na kayong makikialam ng mga ganitong bagay,” He showed the envelope.

Damn! I could be so sure that Xheidan's fingerprints were in there cause he hold that while these two have a  gloves.

“And next time, kami na ang makakakuha niyan,”

Pinanlakihan ko ng mata si Xheidan although he's not looking at me. Damn it Xheidan, mapapahamak tayo nito eh.

The familiar one smirked “Don't chase trouble kid. Delikado ang ginagawa ninyo. You have no idea what this content all about,” he said before even turning his back againts us, followed by the white one and we two left in the room.

Inis akong humarap kay Xheidan.

“Bakit naman ginawa mo pa 'yon? Pano kung may ginawa silang masama?” I frown.

“They won't. Actually we can file a case againts them for taking our documents, we saw that first,” He pressed his body to face me.

“Xheidan! Pulis ang mga 'yon! Inangkin mo pa yung documents!” I growl. Why is he all fine with it? Kung napahamak kami? Yes I want to be with him, but not in trouble. Kung gusto niya, siya nalang!

“Cause it's mine,” He uttered without shading any expression. Tsk. Kayabangan porque siya ang unang nakakita.

In sudden, I remember his fingerprint in that envelope. In that case, I just realised that his hand is still in my wrist. Mabilis na nanlaki ang mga mata ko na naging dahilan ng bigla niyang pag bitaw doon. Gusto ko na sana siyang asarin pero wala pala ako sa mood.

“Y-Yung fingerprints mo, nandoon..” I uttered awkwardly.

“Ofcourse it would be there,” Kalmado niyang sagot as if it's just nonsense!

“Can you be at least worry?!” I rolled my eyes and marched out from that room. I just talked with Marcus through the device to know where they are.

When we arrived the footage room, we knew that the authorities just arrived while me and Xheidan were inside. At the moment, we just decided to look at the footage but we ended up finding no one who brought that document inside the room. Kung sino ang mga papasok ay puro alak lang ang mga dala, minsan ay mga janitor every after a party inside. I doubt naman na janitors brought that inside dahil trolly lang ang mga dala nila and ofcourse, I doubt the jerks entering this room! Ending, wala kaming nahanap. We're thinking if footage was just removed or someone just really hooked that inside.

“Your alibi is way believable, okay? Kapag tinanong, I'll just tell that we really had a meeting,” Crizeliah said.

After my last class during the day, I immediately head the way going to Crizeliah's office. The pissed hooking in my entire system awhile ago but realizing Marcus's words to me were making it cease in somehow. I have a part fault in the past that it went out like this so I won't put every single blame on her. But still, I'm a bit pissy towards her lalo na ngayon? As hearing these words she's saying, I don't know anymore what she is capable of thinking. Is lying always been fine for her?

“Pano kapag ibang committee members ang tinanong?” I raised my brows. It's just the two of us inside kaya hirap na hirap akong pigilin ang sarili kong h'wag siyang sigawan o sugurin. If one of the boys were here, baka mahiya pa akong mag wala pero wala eh, dalawa lang kami.

“We'll asked them to—

“To lie?! Gosh! Seryoso, EIC ka niyan?” I look at her with an implausibe hugging me.

“What do you want then?” She raised her brows.

“What I want?” I gasped as I look away.

Ano nga ba ang gusto ko? Well, I want to be fine! Iyong wala nang iniisip na website website! I want to study the same as those normal student throughout this university! I don't want this thing to come up until the first semester of this year because if it did? Baka mabaliw na ako. Hindi ko na rin gustong unahin ang bagay na ito kaysa sa pag aaral ko kasi iyon naman talaga ang pinunta ko rito. Ang mga aral, just that. But this freaking deal messed me. First, me having a freaking position in the committee, having a sense of what have happened in the previous vice-chairperson and a almost having a troubles. Masyado na akong maraming problema sa buhay ko, I don't want to add this.

I breathed “I want to leave the team—if this called team,”

“What?!” She almost stand from her seat.

“Yes! Ayoko na, Crizeliah. Ayaw ko nang sayangin ang oras ko sa mga bagay na ito!” I left my seat too to reach her.

“Asthreittle,” She uttered with a hint of threaten.

“Ayo'ko na, Crizeliah. Before, I thought that we'll just deal in that site but then we're doing it physically? This is out of the agreement! And this is making me insane!”

“Kung pinoproblema mo dahil nalaman ng senator mo ang nangyari, I could ask my connections to—”

“Yes! Ofcourse poproblemahin ko 'yon. I'm not like you, Crizeliah. Hindi ako katulad mong may perang kayang sustentuhan ang sarili. Kapag nag tuloy tuloy ito at masira ang record ko sa Senator ay hindi na ako makakapag aral! You're money is just a piece of shit on me,” I said, can't control any of the words coming out from my lips anymore. As if I care for now.

Her lips fell off apart.

“But we had an agreement, Asthreittle. You received the money and I put you in a high position in this University.” Mariin niyang sagot saakin. Damn her!

I wanted to cry because of infuriate and hate. Why is she like that? Isn't she even considering my state? I want to let go of this deal cause everything were getting mess because of it. Inaalala ko palang ang hitsura ni Maxine noon ay lalo akong pinapasok ng guilty. Ang mga takot na naramdaman ko everytime we're trying to take those documents somewhere we're not even sure our safety. Hindi ko na rin gustong mag sinungaling sa mga magulang ko everytime they were asking why I am not paying  them a visit every weekends anymore cause I'm always having a fucking meeting with them!

In this case? What would I do? I have a guts that something might happened if I won't leave. Gaya ng sinabi ni Marcus saakin, matanda na ako, I already know how to chose a thing which is best for me, and leaving this team is the idea I think of gonna be the best afterall.

But thinking of leaving, something riddled my mind too. How about the cases that the website is giving? Will I just let it be exposed one by one? But I couldn't do anything naman diba? Uh, I don't know. Damn it!

“I resign,”

Yzo's eyes met mine after he stared at the withdrawal of position letter I gave to him. He then bite his lower lip. If all of the sudden weren't happened, baka natuwa pa ako na kaharap siya. The President of the Student Committee is seriously hot and good looking. But yet, I'm not in mood to flirt around.

“What's your position?” he asked.

Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko but I immediately ceased it. I thought Crizeliah is the one who imposed me to the President but he don't know what position I am with.

“Vice-chairperson..” I answered while standing infront of his glass table.

“Hmm,” He played his fingers in the side of the table while looking at me “I need a valid reason. An officer can't just withdraw without an acceptable reason,”

What?! Damn! Hindi ko inasahan na magiging ganito kakomplikado iyon. I thought I'll just left him the letter with my signature in it and then leave. Shit, what would I say?

“A-Ahm..” I think of words to say to him. I don't freaking know! Hindi ko naman gustong ibunyag ang ginagawa nila Crizeliah 'cause it was still seriously confidential. We can't trust anyone when it's about the website.

“I did something... not good,” I slowly uttered “I cut a classes..”

“Everyone did that once,” He composed.

“But I did it twice!”

“I'm expecting for a heavier reason,” He lean his back againts his chair.

“I..” I bit my lower lip “I used the whole committee as an excuse when I got caught. I tell them... that I'm in the committee meeting when I'm not in the room. It's againts the policy of the committee members to used the committee activities for an individual reasonings..”

Gosh! Mabuti at naisipan kong basahin ang book of policy nila. I didn't even expect that the committee in this university have policies. Bigatin talaga.

“Hmm..” He nodded. “But Asthreittle,”

I looked at him as he called my name. His face is remaining serious from the start till now.

“You can't really use the committee activities for individual reasonings,” He uttered.

“Cause it's the policy,”

“No,” He cupped his hands together.

I knitted my brows.

“'Cause you're never been part of the Student Committee, Asthreittle.”

I get stucked in the air for awhile. I don't know what to say but I was left dumbfound. Pakiramdam ko ay napahiya ako and somehow felt betray. What happened? Kanina ay tinatanong niya lang kung bakit ako nag wiwithdraw sa position but then he's telling me that I'm never been part of the committee?

“I don't understand you, Mr. President..” I uttered, almost whisper.

“You don't have to resign cause you have no any position to withdraw at,”

I felt a sudden pain in my chest and a shame.

“S-Sorry? I'm the one who replace Maxine's position when she got kicked out, and the list of new committee members was already passed in the dean,” I uttered, trying hard to remain my bravery posture.

I saw a ghost grin in his lips.

What's happening?

“There was never had a new list submitted to the upper, Asthreittle,” He pressed his lips together

The confusion literary ate me! What the fuck?! Crizeliah told me that? Did she...

“But I have an ID!” I showed him the ID that the Vice-president gave me before. Damn, I don't want to think that it's all an act.

My widened eyes sideways to the hard paper Yzo have raised. It's a Student Committee Officer Identification Card...

And it's not the same with me.

What the... I never noticed that!

“That card you have was the SCOIC of the previous year committee,"

My lips almost fell apart. I can't believe it. All this time. All this time she just fool me around?! The Vice-President? Is she part of the plan to fool me and pretend that I'm really part of it?! The Committee meeting before, was it planned too?! Is that the reason why the whole committee were acting as if I was nothing around them everytime we're seeing each other cause I'm just really nothing? Is this all a plan? Did they all act according to Crizeliah's plan? But they even put it in the bulletin board yet it's all not true. Damn.

Did Crizeliah planned all this for me to have no choice but to do the work she asked me to?

She...

She fool me...

They all fool me...

Pakiramdam ko ay maiiyak ako.

All this time...

All this time they played around me...

Damn.

“You never know how the real player play a game, Asthreittle. Be cautious..”