Chapter 158: My Family's Gift

The journal was not a book of spells.

It was a book of days. It was the Luna's own and she had kept it from 1891 to 1896 and every page was a day and every day was the same day.

It said: We are in the mill. Mary brings water. Margaret brings bread. The founders come at night and ask about the deed.

And the next page said the same thing and the next and the next.

I turned the pages and the whole of the night went past and the whole of the line sat in the room and the whole of it was silent.

And then I found a page that was not the same.

It was dated the eleventh of April, 1897, and it was in a different hand and it was the old Alpha's.

It said: My mate is dead. She died in Walla Walla in 1896 and the fourth daughter died with her and the whole of the line is going to carry the curse and the whole of it is going to be answered for. I have made a bargain in the circle and the bargain is this. The founders will have the land and the line will have the curse and the whole of it is going to be held by the keeper and the Luna together. And the whole of it is going to be broken by a Luna who comes home and a keeper who holds the circle and a line that stands in the open.

And then there was a line in the old Alpha's hand.

It said: The curse is not the bargain. The curse is the hold. The bargain is the land and the hold is the curse and the whole of it is going to be broken when the line stops holding and starts letting go.

I sat on the floor of the east circle.

"Starts letting go," I said.

June looked up.

"What?" she said.

"The whole of it is the wrong way round," I said. "The keeper and the Luna have been holding the curse and the whole of the line has been holding it and the whole of it has been going on for two hundred years and the whole of it is not going to be broken by holding it." I put my hand on the page. "It is going to be broken by letting it go."

The room was quiet.

And then Ada of the north came and sat down in front of me.

"Alpha," she said. "I have been the keeper of the circle for eighty-five years and I have read the whole of the journal and I have never understood that page until tonight." She put her hand on the book. "The curse is the hold. The whole of it is in the ground and the ground is holding it and the keeper and the Luna are holding the ground. And the whole of it is going to be broken when the keeper and the Luna and the line let it go."

I looked at her.

"Then the whole of it is not a bargain," I said.

"The whole of it is not a bargain," Ada of the north said. "It is a grief. The old Alpha could not let his mate go and the founders could not let the land go and the Council could not let the silver go and the whole of it has been holding on for two hundred years." She put her hand on my chest. "And there is a thing about the line that nobody has told you. The line has been holding the whole of it since 1891 and the whole of it has been holding the line. And the whole of it is going to be broken by a Luna who lets the whole of it go."

I sat on the floor of the east circle.

And then Ruth of the Riverside pack came and sat down in front of me.

"Alpha," she said. "There is a thing the whole of the family has been keeping for you and the whole of it is not a book and it is not a stone and it is not a page." She put her hand on my knee. "It is the whole of the line. The whole of us. The twelve from the room and the eleven the keeper hid and the whole of the ones the east took and the whole of the ones who never knew what they were."

I looked up.

"The whole of the line," I said.

"The whole of the line is in this room," Ruth said. "And the whole of it has been in the mountains and the tunnels and the rooms and the whole of it has never once stood in the open." She put her hand on my chest. "And the whole of it is ready to stand in the open and the whole of it is waiting for a Luna who is going to lead it."

I sat on the floor.

And then Clara Renn came and sat down beside me.

"Alpha," she said. "I have been the second wolf for sixty years and I have been sitting in a house at the end of a mill road and I have been afraid of the whole of it. And the whole of it has been afraid of me." She put her hand on my shoulder. "And the whole of it is finished. The whole of the line is in this room and the whole of it is going to stand in the circle at the full moon and the whole of it is going to let go."

I sat on the floor of the east circle and looked at the whole of the line.

June was there. She was nineteen years old and she had twins in her and she had been standing in squares since the calf in the combine yard and she had not once sat down. Ruth of the Riverside pack was there and Ada of Boise was there and Ada Kessler in her chair and Hannah and Arthur Renn and Clara Renn and the keeper of the east with his arm in a sling. The twelve from the room were there and the eleven the keeper hid were there and the whole of the ones the east took were there and the whole of them were looking at me.

And Elias was on the floor with his head in my lap and his chest going up and down and the silver in his shoulder and his face gray.

I put my hand on his face.

"All right," I said. "All right."

The whole of the line moved.

And then a wolf came into the room.

It was the younger Corrigan boy and he was out of breath and he had a wire in his hand.

"Alpha," he said. "The wire is from Boise. The Council has voted. The whole of it is decided. The east is withdrawn and the whole of the Council has ruled that the line is the line and the land is the line's and the whole of it is going to stand in the circle at the full moon."

I stood up.

"The whole of the Council has ruled," I said.

"The whole of the Council has ruled," the boy said. "And the whole of it is going to stand in the Palouse circle at the full moon and the whole of it is going to be finished."

I looked at the whole of the line.

"Then we go home," I said.

We went home.

We carried Elias on a door taken off the mill and we went down the mountain and through the ford and across the ridge and we came into the territory at dusk and the whole of the pack was standing in the square and the whole of the pack was silent.

And then the whole of the pack moved.

It was the whole of the territory. It was the one hundred and forty and the seventy-one and the whole of the ones who had been cast out and the whole of the ones who had stood with the Council and the whole of the ones who had never had a claim. The whole of them came into the square and the whole of them stood in front of me and the whole of them were silent.

And then Thomas the old wolf with the hoe came forward.

"Alpha," he said. "The pack has been talking and the pack has decided."

"What has the pack decided?" I said.

"The pack has decided that the whole of it is one," Thomas said. "The whole of the territory and the whole of the line and the whole of the ones who were cast out and the whole of the ones who were afraid. The whole of it is one pack and the whole of it is the Circle Pack and the whole of it is yours."

I stood in the square.

And then the whole of the pack went down on one knee.

I stood in the square with the whole of the pack on one knee and the whole of the line behind me and my mate on a door in my arms.

"Get up," I said. "The whole of it is one pack and the whole of it is going to stand on its feet."

The whole of the pack got up.

And then the whole of the square roared.