Chapter 1

The nurses' station went dead silent.

Over a dozen pairs of eyes landed on me at once, as though I had opened my mouth and stolen something that belonged to Whitney Farris.

Tara Milligan was the first to frown.

"Blair, the award doesn't just go to whoever speaks up first. Whitney's just too shy to bring it up herself. Everyone in this department knows what her family's been through."

Someone else chimed in immediately.

"Exactly. Her brother has leukemia. They sold the house, and the medication is all on borrowed money. Who in our department has it harder than her?"

"Some people don't say a word on any other day, but the second they hear 50 thousand dollars, they're faster than anyone."

It was obvious. Every word was aimed at me.

My ears burned. My palms were slick with sweat, but I did not step back.

"Ma'am, I really do need this money. I can prove it."

I reached into the back of my locker and pulled out an old plastic bag. Inside were my father's diagnosis report, his itemized hospital bills, and a stack of collection notices. I had shoved them into the deepest corner of my locker, and they were crumpled and worn by now.

"My father has stomach cancer. His chemo has already run up to 300,000 dollars. My mother works as a cashier at a grocery store, making 2,000 a month. My sister starts college next year, and her tuition is still unpaid.

"I've worked in this ER for three years, pulling day shifts and night shifts back to back without taking a single day off. I know better than anyone whether I deserve this spot."

Tara caught sight of the stack of collection notices, and her expression stiffened.

Whitney was the first to panic.

"Blair, you don't have to air out your family's problems in front of everyone like this. If you're really that desperate, I'm willing to step aside. Just don't let people think we're making a scene over money."

A moment ago she had said she did not want it. Now, suddenly, she was the one graciously stepping aside for me.

Someone behind us clicked their tongue.

"Whitney's already backed down this much. Some people should learn when enough is enough."

I smoothed the documents out one by one and did not take the exit she had offered me.

"Whether you step aside or not is your business. Me stepping up to apply is mine. I didn't take anything from you, and I don't need you to let me have it."

Whitney's tears fell instantly. Tara scrambled to pull out a tissue and dab her face, then turned and glared at me.

"Blair, do you really have to be this harsh?"

The charge nurse, Janet Griggs, slapped the desk twice.

"Enough!

"The award is decided by the hospital's review board. The final call comes down to performance evaluations and a board discussion. It doesn't just go to whoever has it the hardest. Arguing about it here won't change a thing."

She handed the application form to me.

"Blair, fill this out. I want every field done."

Then she looked at Whitney.

"I'm asking you one last time. If you give up your spot, I'll record it as is. If the award goes to someone else later, you can't say anyone took it from you."

Everyone watched Whitney, waiting for her to change her mind.

She shook her head slowly. "I don't regret it. Someone who truly deserves this honor won't be overlooked just because she pushed away an application form."

The line landed beautifully. Tara's eyes reddened on the spot, and a murmur of admiration rippled through the room.

The floating comments above went wild.

[She still thinks the director will see through her refusal and admire her for being so noble.]

[The director clawed her way up from a floor nurse. She can't stand people who put on airs!]

[Blair, don't be scared. Just fill out the form! Whether you win is another matter, but if you can't even get your application in, you really won't have a chance at all.]

I lowered my head and wrote my name in the applicant field, one careful stroke at a time. The pen would not stop shaking.

I was terrified I would not be selected, but there was no other road left. The only direction was forward.