CHAPTER ONE OH EIGHT

Lysander and the kids had gone to bed hours ago, but I just couldn't sleep. My mind was reeling, contemplating what it would mean if I gave into my feelings.

To be honest, I was scared. Even during our affair, nothing was really official. We just fooled around, showing our love for each other in any way we could.

But how about now?

He would be my boyfriend? I laughed at the idea of introducing him as my boyfriend. It sounded ridiculous after all the shit we'd been through together.

With my mate and royal, those were their titles. They meant something, they told everybody else that they belonged to me. I didn't have the same security with Ly. He was an immortal being, one with great power and responsibility. Starting an official relationship with him would be a major decision.

And if we were to get married one day... Would that make him my King? Then he would be King, god, and first. That was just nuts. Not to mention that I would be his wife. But I wasn't immortal like him, so how would he react when I aged, when I died? Was it fair to put him through that?

Damn it, I was overthinking things again. All I really knew was that I missed him. I loved him. And fuck it, I wanted him.

He was a wonderful man. Caring, loving, a great example to my children. Hell, he helped me raise them. We already lived together, and he already confessed his love for me.

I thought more on my moms words. There was nothing wrong with wanting love. She was right.

I was ready.

Without another thought, I climbed the stairs, continuing past my room and into Lysander's. I didn't knock but opened the door slowly to make less noise.

I had to tell him how I felt now before I chickened out.

The rays of the full moon filled the room and cast a dim light on his softly purring body. I took delicate steps towards him, trying to decide on the best way to wake him without scaring the shit out of him. When I arrived at his side, I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Lysander?"

He stirred, his parted lips closing as his long lashes fluttered. His hair was tied into a simple bun, but his tossing had made it a little messier.

"Lysander." I spoke again, this time causing his eyes to flicker open. As soon as he realized I was before him, he sat up, rubbing at his eyes.

"Aria, are you okay? What's wrong?" He didn't hide the concern in his groggy voice, nor the surprise on his face when I lifted his covers, sliding in beside him so I could wrap him in my trembling arms. He returned the favor, holding me closely to his rapidly beating chest. "Sweet-"

"I love you, Lysander."

He tensed, his heart speeding up even more at my confession.

"Aria. Just because I said-"

"No! I mean it. I really love you. And I... I want to try to have a relationship with you. If you're willing, of course."

His arms tightened around me, and he buried his nose in my hair.

"Lysander?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe you're saying this. Is this a dream?" He let out a short and airy laugh, his warmth soothing me.

I lifted my head, pushing back just enough to look into his glittering blue eyes.

"It's real." I assured him, lifting my hand to his cheek and rising upwards, pulling him down so I could brush my lips against his. I felt the tension leave both of our bodies at the sweet, loving contact.

I wanted to feel him. I wanted to show him.

It started out timid, but I tangled my hands in his hair and opened my mouth to deepen it. He willingly complied, his tongue entering and searching me gracefully. A quiet moan left my lips. He tasted like wintergreen toothpaste, but with a hint of his natural sweetness. It was incredible.

His lips connecting with mine was giving me confidence, peace, and after a few more seconds, I broke away. His heavy breathing mimicked my own, and his eyes shone with affection and want.

I splayed my hand on his chest, which I had just realized was bare, gently pushing him back onto his bed.

"Aria?" He sucked in a ragged breath when my lips connected with his collarbone, trailing inwards. I swung my leg over his hips and his hands moved to support me, clinging to me like I might disappear. "Are you sure?"

I lifted myself temporarily, meeting his half-drawn eyes.

"Yes. But if you aren't ready..." He chuckled, shaking his head before I even finished.

"Sweetheart, I've been ready for a while. I want to make love with you." One of his hands lifted to cup my face while the other trailed down my arm, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake. He wanted to make love. What a beautiful way to begin our relationship.