Chapter 1 My Husband's Engagement Party

Natalie's POV

I felt uneasy while I was standing among the crowd watching with my very eyes the love of my life getting engaged to someone else!

The loud applause of the crowd filled the massive yard of the Mirren House with glee. Amidst this ocean of people, I stood placidly, watching each of them shower praises to Rafael and Debbie__ the newly engaged couple.

“A toast to the newlyweds” A male voice cheered, coupled with the sound of clinking glasses.

The party was perfect. I made sure by myself to be everything perfect. Food, drinks, decorations, even the white flowers of the bride, were chosen by me!

Everybody was happy and enjoyed this party, except me.

I was in much pain, every cell in my body was trembling and hurting. I felt my heart burning and bumping crazy. Despite all of that, I stood still calmly! No one can guess the raging storm of emotions that was raging badly inside of me.

I saw Rafael kissing his fiance Debbie and I couldn't help but feel my gut getting sick. To be honest, I always dreamed of kissing him like that. To be between his domineering solid arms.

 I forced my eyes to watch them. Maybe in this way, I could get rid of him! Maybe in this way, my stupid heart will give up loving him! Despite the scene in front of me killing me like a sharp knife cutting my veins, I kept staring.

A minute later, with his deep masculine voice, I heard him saying while looking around, "Natalie, where are you?"

 What pathetic! That poor Natalie was me!

Attempting to ignore him, I grabbed my glass and quickly hid behind a big tree nearby, then swallowed the glass content lump sum. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I knew I couldn’t face him right now and I had to get away or hide at least. I believe if he sees me now, he will figure out my true feelings, and I don't want to risk that. Long ago I determined to keep my feelings to myself and not give him the hins of knowing I was affected. I was determined to keep my distance from him and not to stay alone with him ever.

I took a deep breath trying to comfort my heartbeat. I was very tired and psychologically grueling of pretending happiness about what was happening, though. This was my husband's engagement party. It seems to be weird, right?

However, no one here ever knew about our virginal marriage. No one. Not his mother nor our close relatives. Except his lawyer knew. We got married just to be able to get our legacy. The strange condition in his father's commandment stated that we should get married to each other so we can receive our legacy. Based on this, we kept this marriage secret from everyone to cancel it easily later!

 Like turning a button off, that was how Rafael felt about the whole marriage-ending situation. I wish I could feel the same.

Furthermore, the really funny condition was; that we could receive our legacy after a year and a half of marriage!!

We already got married a year ago, and we still have six months to be able to cancel it.

 I loved Rafael for centuries. But it was one-sided love, that's the reason why I accepted that dirty game in the first place. But I'm regretting this daredevil decision now.

It wasn't like I had a chance with him before! I know he sees me as his friend. Or worse, like a little sister, he keeps treating me that way. He always cared about me, as he helped me during my grief on my mother's death. It was my stupid hormones that translated this caress into love.

Rafael is my stepbrother. I was raised by Rafael’s father, Uncle Matt. Uncle Matt treated me as if I were his own daughter. He married my mum after five years of him divorcing Rafael’s mother, Mrs Nicol. Back then, I was only two years old. I do love him more than my biological father indeed. 

Although Rafael lived with his mom, due to her job as an actress, he visited us more often. He was ten years older than I am, but from an early age, I loved to accompany him. He used to look after me and play with me when our parents weren’t around. Despite the maids were in the house, he used to be the one who was taking care of me. But I never considered him as a brother.

He was my hero.

My savior. 

My idol.

But not a bother.

But with time, he had changed and began to hate me. I heard him once shouting at his father, telling him that he must feel ashamed, how he loves another man’s child more than his own son!! I was heartbroken. I had loved him so much, but now I felt betrayed. I never understood his change of heart. We never became the same again after that. I tried to forget about him, but the pain stayed with me. I still love him to this day.

When I became ten years old, he came home less, though. He was about twenty and had no more interest in me! I remember the last time he played with me when I tried to kiss him under this big tree that I’m standing under right now and told him I wanted to try how to kiss!! That was stupid and childish, but it caused Rafael to move further away from me and stop even sending me messages!

Later, at the rare family occasions he attended, he brought a new girlfriend with him every time!

I sighed, putting back the empty glass on the table and lifting the bottle. I took a big swallow of champagne and thought while my eyes were cloudy with tears, "I just wanna hug him, kiss his lips"

I felt a lump stuck in my throat, my eyes about to shed tears.

Although I wish him happiness from the bottom of my heart, it still hurts me to see him with another woman, hugging and kissing her.

Closed my eyes and imagined, "I wanna have sex with h...." Suddenly, I heard my own voice and I got tense.

Oh, shit!!! I said that out loud, this was embarrassing especially when I turned around to make sure that no one had heard my wild thoughts just to find Rafael standing in front of me...