Ugly Decisions

“How will I know you’re okay?” I asked Aviari in the memory. My small body was jerking with the weight of my grief. I didn’t want any of them to go.

And I was so little and felt so helpless at the thought of all my older siblings leaving me. I imagined seeing a breakfast table where only half of our family sat.

Instead of a room brimming over with laughter and teasing.

“We’ll write you.” Baila Lae stepped behind Aviari and dropped a hand to his shoulder as if to give him strength. She gave him a gentle squeeze.

“Dad is going to bring letters back and forth so none of us will feel alone.”

“I can’t know where you are?” I looked up at her. Wanting to cling to her dress and beg her to stay with me.

“No, Sweetheart.” She dropped to her knees next to Aviari to look at me. “It’s not safe for any of us that way.”

“What if you&r