Chapter 05

TANIA

He stayed with me as I ate, making sure I finished at least half the portion of mash, chicken, and peas that were brought up to us. Then, he ushered me into bed, jaw ticking mercilessly each time I winced at the sharp pain that lashed my back with every small movement. I laid on my side, ignoring the electrical current that shot through my body when his skin made minimal contact with mine.

Using the tips of his fingers, Sylvain shifted my white locks off my forehead and tucked them behind my ear. His smile was gentle and it had my gut twisting because I knew, if it weren't for the stupid bond that wolves had between mates — the same bond that was inflicted on us — he wouldn't have been here now offering me that gentle smile.

Some wolves couldn't wait to find their mates, from what I had learned, most didn't share the sentiment like me. I didn't like the idea of someone dictating my life and who I should spend it with. From the outside looking in, it could have been declared as selfish but when put in the situation, it made you feel like a puppet — like someone's plaything.

Who the bloody fuck wanted to be tied to someone they barely knew from a bar of soap?

The whole mate thing they had going on was wicked and morbid and something I wanted to play no part in. It was there in order to keep the race from dying out so I wasn't about to romanticize it. At the end of the day, it stripped away your choice and filled you with emotions that weren't really your own. It made you pine for someone, unable to harm them even if you hated them, and then it brainwashed you into thinking you were head over heels in love with them.

"I'm going to stay," Sylvain whispered as if he didn't want to break the silence but, at the same time, he needed to let me know of his decision, "I'll take the floor."

I rolled my eyes. My bed was large and I may not have liked him and probably wasn't the best person out there but even I knew he didn't have to take the floor. I wasn't completely unreasonable.

"I'm not going to be moving much," my voice was devoid of emotion but my heart tugged at the reasoning for my stillness, "and you're a dog—"

"Wolf," he cut me off and corrected with a tight smile stretching his pink lips, "I'm a wolf, beautiful darkling. Try not to forget that."

I ignored the way my heart fluttered when he used that nickname for me, "Fine, you're a wolf so shift and hop on."

He quirked a brow, honey eyes flashing with amusement, "Do you not trust yourself in a bed with me in human form?"

"It's you I don't trust in human form, m—" I cut myself off this time, swallowing my insult while forcing out, "wolf."

"If we're firing shots at one another then I should probably point out the obvious by reminding you that it is I that shouldn't be trusting you," he stepped back with a blank face but his eyes were warm and comforting, easy to get lost it, "but here I am."

"Yes, here you are," I mocked, grabbing the edge of my blanket and tucking it to my chest.

I tried. I really tried not to stare when Sylvain dropped his low riding sweatpants but my eyes had a mind of their own and they latched onto the sight of his cock before I could process anything. In the next breath, he leaped forward, and from his flesh burst a huge chocolate brown wolf — fluffy and gorgeous, like a living teddy bear.

I locked the girlish side of me away before a squeal could pass my parted lips and fisted the blanket tighter before my gushing could have me out of bed, hugging and petting his as if those sharp canines couldn't slice through flesh with ease.

A whine left him as he hefted his weight onto the bed, causing the mattress to dip on one side. He curled up at my feet in a fluffy ball before resting his head on my thigh with a huff.

"Seriously?" I grumbled but my fingers were already unfurling from their death grip on the blanket.

His obsidian wolf eyes glared at me as if he could see my soul, then blinked and shifted his gaze to the window.

I inched my hand toward him, reluctantly wanting to card my fingers through his fur. He caught the movement and as I was about to pull away again, he nudged his massive head into my open palm. His coat was softer than I imagined it to be, glistening under the silvery moonlight that bathed the room.

"You don't want me," I mused, shaking my head when he moved away from me. Threading my fingers into the lush fur on the side of his face, I went on, "no one wants me. My kind don't accept me and you and your friends hate me for what I tried and did do. The only reason you want me is because of a mate bond which isn't fair to either of us. I'm not the girl you would have chosen if you had a choice. I'm almost certain, if you had the opportunity to choose, you'd pick a werewolf."

This time, he shifted back into his human form with ease, as if his bones breaking and reshaping did not faze him. I found my fingers now tucked into his fiery curls and yanked my hand back as if I had been burned. It was easier thinking of him like a wolf on my bed but seeing the man behind the wolf somehow felt different. I couldn't explain it. 

He curled a portion of the blanket around him to block the lower half of his body, "Not many people know this about me. I don't tell people because you never know what they're going to say in response. I don't care about what you look like. I don't care if you're fae, a vampire, or a Goddess damned Hellhound. Fuck, I don't even care if you're male, female, or identify as a fucking llama. None of it matters. It's what's in here that counts," he pointed at his chest, directly above his heart, "and about the type of person you are. Looks, well that's a bonus."

"I'm still not the type of person you would choose," I reasoned, wanting him to understand my thoughts for some strange reason.

Stupid bond.

"You don't know that," he mused, and then with a lot more certainty, he added, "I don't know that. I don't know you but I'm willing to get to know you. I don't know why you did what you did but I'm guessing you had a reason behind it. I don't think you would have done what you did just for kicks. The only time I'll know the truth is if you finally explain it to me."

I swallowed but found that it hurt to do so. A lump had formed in my throat, a large ball of emotion that solidified. I shifted on the bed, sucking in a harsh breath of air through my teeth at the pain.

"If you siphoned my healing abilities, would it help?" He asked, eyes searching my face with the need to put me out of my misery.

"It would," I admitted because I would heal faster.

Sylvain licked his lips and then dropped his gaze to the magical bands around my ankles and wrists. His hands gripped my wrist before I could stop him which had him clamping his jaw shut and throwing his head back as magic whipped around him.

I pried his hands away with a scowl, "Are you insane?" I chided with bewilderment coloring my abrasive tone, "these are enchanted. Only the one who bound them to me can remove them."

"So who bound them to you?" He asked, cocking his head to the side as he waited for my response.

"What are you going to do? Walk up to them and demand they remove these or you'll slash their throats out?" My lips thinned into an unimpressed smile.

"If I have to."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous," he defended with a coy smirk, "I just know what I'm capable of."

"Sure, sure," I nodded pensively, "only, they have magic at their disposal and you don't. You've got to play it smart."

"You know all about doing that," Sylvain jibed.

"Yes, I actually do," I huffed, "anyway, why would you let me siphon from you?"

"One," he raised his index finger, "because what is ridiculous is leaving you to suffer like this. I don't care how much you deserve it. From your reaction I know just losing your wings was punishment enough or you wouldn't be so desperate to get them back. Two," another finger lifted, "because I can't see you in pain and that's not just the bond talking. I'm not the type of person that likes seeing anyone in pain, not if I can help. Three," a third finger joined the other two, "because I know you wouldn't be able to hurt me. You'll siphon what you need and that's it. The mate bond will serve as my protection."

"I'll be fine," I breathed, raking my fingers through my white locks that shone against the moonlight, "I'll heal, eventually."

"I'll speak to Zephyr about getting these off tomorrow," he said, ignoring the words I had just said.

I shot him a scornful glare, "No you're not."

"Yes I am," he gritted with finality.

"You don't get it," I whisper yelled because if anyone heard me they would come barging into the room. I was under no misconception that they brought me to this room without doubling, if not tripling the security detail around the estate grounds and in the building itself, "they won't let me out of these. They would be stupid to do that. Anyway, if I want to siphon from you I have to challenge and defeat you. That's how it works."

"Okay," he nodded his head in understanding but I recognized the look of defiance blazing in those golden honey eyes, "I'm not fae. I don't care what your rules are if it means you're going to be hurt. But, I can respect that you want to follow those rules. It would be wrong of me not to respect your ways."

"So, you're not going to ask him then?" I asked hopefully but I should have known better.

His pink lips kicked up in a sinful, devious smirk that said he knew exactly what he was doing and wasn't going to stop, "Oh, I'm going to ask," he snorted in amusement at the mask of horror that slipped over my face.

"You have a death wish, don't you?" I muttered incredulously.

"You weren't opposed to the idea of killing me before."

"I wasn't aiming to kill you. Just the council bar my parents," I snapped.

"Why?" Those heated eyes landed on me.

"That's none of your business. However, if you wish to be killed I can arrange that, wolf."

He offered me an unabashed grin, "You don't have to kill me, just beat me. So what if I throw the fight? There's nothing about that in the rule book so I'm guessing it's perfectly allowed."

He wasn't wrong. Penelope used to let me siphon from her after I best her. Most times I did win against her but when I was too weak then she would let me win to siphon from her. Kali hated her granddaughter for it. She thought Penelope was soft on me and that her bloodline was not meant to be friends with fae. Maybe she was right. It was our friendship that got her killed as much as it was her duty that landed her in that situation.

"They should start adding that to the rule book," I grumbled, unable to let go of my reservations. He was being too nice to me and with the mate bond still in place, I wondered if I stood a chance against him.

"Yeah, you bring it up with whoever made the rules after I let you beat my ass in a fight," he leaned in before he could stop himself and barely brushed his lips against my cheek. It wasn't a kiss and yet it felt so much more intimate than one, "get some sleep," his hot breath skated across my skin.

I suppressed my shudder and watched his shift ripple over him. This time, he curled into a ball with his head propped on his paws. For the first time in days I succumbed to sleep and hoped to the stars and elements that I wouldn't relive my torture in my nightmares.