Chapter 21: Alpha's Regret

THORNE

My wolf was trying to kill me, literally.

Every time I shifted, it fought for control, snapping and snarling, trying to break free and run, run to her, to Sera.

The wolf didn't care about politics or the Council or pack survival, It only knew I'd rejected our mate and it wanted her back.

I gripped the edge of my desk, forcing my breathing to steady as another wave of pain ran through me. The mate bond or what was left of it, felt like broken glass in my chest, cutting deeper with every breath.

Two months, It had been two months since the rejection and I was dying.

"Alpha Thorne?"

I looked up to see Vivian in my office doorway. She wore a soft blue dress that probably cost more than most pack members made in a year. Her hair was perfectly styled, her makeup flawless.

She looked nothing like Sera.

"What is it, Vivian?" I kept my voice neutral, professional.

"I brought you lunch." She carried a tray into the room, setting it on my desk with a hopeful smile. "You didn't eat breakfast, I'm worried about you."

Around me, she was always like this. Sweet, caring, attentive, she tried so hard to make me care about her, to make this arrangement into something real.

But I felt nothing when I looked at her, nothing but resentment for the choice I'd made.

"Thank you," I said, because refusing would be cruel. "That's thoughtful."

Her smile brightened. "I can stay while you eat, keep you company."

"I have work to do."

The smile faltered, "Of course, I understand." She moved towards the door, then paused. "Thorne? Tonight, maybe we could have dinner together? Just the two of us?"

"Maybe." It was the same answer I'd given her for three months, noncommittal and empty.

She left, and I heard her voice change the moment she stepped into the hallway.

"You there," she snapped at someone. "Why is this floor dirty? Do I need to have you replaced?"

"I..I'm sorry, Miss Vivian," a nervous voice responded. Probably one of the Omega cleaners, "I'll fix it right away."

"See that you do and address me properly, I'm your future Luna."

I closed my eyes, filled with disgust. This was who I'd chosen, a woman who was kind to me only because she wanted something, and cruel to everyone else because she could be.

Elder Clearwater's daughter, a political alliance that was supposed to save my pack.

Instead, it was destroying me.

My wolf snarled inside my mind, demanding I go after our real mate, fix what I'd broken.

I thought about my last attempt. Two months ago, I'd gone to Kade's compound, demanded to see her, the Rogue King had refused, nearly fought me at his own border.

I'd left empty handed, humiliated, desperate but I couldn't give up. My wolf wouldn't let me.

A knock interrupted my thoughts. David, my new second in command stepped in, he was loyal but nowhere near as capable as Garret had been.

"Alpha, the border patrols are reporting something odd."

"What?"

"Council wolves, three of them, watching our territory from the forest. They've been there for two days."

Ice flooded my veins. "Council scouts? Here?"

"Yes, Alpha, they're not crossing into our territory, just watching."

My mind raced. Why would the Council be watching Silvermoon Pack? We'd done everything they asked, I'd chosen Vivian, I'd rejected my mate.

Unless this was about Sera, about my connection to her, or maybe Clearwater was keeping tabs on his future son in-law.

Either way, it wasn't good.

"Double the patrols," I ordered, and send word immediately if they make any moves."

"Yes, Alpha." David left.

I stood and walked to the window, looking out over pack lands. Everything appeared peaceful, but nothing was normal anymore.

The Council was watching, Clearwater was planning something and I was trapped in an engagement to his daughter, slowly being destroyed by the mate I'd thrown away.

Two weeks ago, I'd done something reckless. When I'd heard Aldric was hunting near Kade's territory, I'd tracked him, attacked when he was alone.

I'd injured him, not enough to kill, but enough to slow him down, enough to give Sera more time.

It was stupid and dangerous and I'd do it again because even if she hated me, even if she never forgave me, I couldn't let her die.

"Thorne?"

Vivian was back, hovering in the doorway. "You didn't eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat, you're getting too thin." She stepped closer. "Please, for me?"

For her, like I owed her something.

"I'll eat later," I said.

She moved closer, reaching for my hand. "I know this isn't what you wanted, I know you had feelings for that Omega but she's gone now and I'm here. I could make you happy, Thorne, If you'd just let me try."

I pulled my hand away, "Vivian…"

"I care about you," she interrupted, real emotion in her voice. "I know this started as politics but for me, it's more than that. I want this to work, I want you to want me."

The desperation in her eyes should have made me feel something. Pity, maybe guilt.

But all I felt was tiredness.

"I need to be alone," I said.

Hurt flashed across her face, quickly hidden. "Of course, I'll see you at dinner."

She left, and I was alone again.

My wolf paced restlessly. Last week during a shift, I nearly attacked one of my own pack members. The wolf was getting more violent, more unstable.

I was losing control.

I thought about Kade's compound, about Sera training there, growing stronger, safe under his protection.

The thought of her with Kade made my wolf howl with jealous rage.

But at least she was alive.

I'd gone to see her once and failed but I had to try again.

Last time, I'd been arrogant, demanding. I'd expected her to listen just because I was an Alpha.

This time would be different. I'd beg if I had to, grovel, whatever it took.

I didn't know if a rejected mate bond could be repaired, didn't know if she'd even let me try.

But I knew I couldn't survive like this much longer.

My wolf was going feral, my pack was suffering under Vivian's cruelty and every day without Sera felt like dying slowly.

Maybe it was too late, maybe she hated me too much.

The thought made me want to destroy something.

But I had to try.

I'd go back to Kade's territory soon and this time, I wouldn't leave until I'd seen her, talked to her.

Even if it cost me everything, even if she rejected me the way I'd rejected her.

I had to know if there was any chance of fixing what I'd broken.

Or if I'd destroyed my only shot at happiness the night I chose power over love.