Chapter 5

As I raced through the forest, my morning routine to run the entire perimeter of the territory, I felt a stab of pain in my chest. Coughing, I slowed my run and shifted, leaning against a tree for support. Covering my mouth for another cough, I felt something wet against my hand. I pulled it away and my eyes widened. Blood.

Looking down, the skin around my wound was red and inflamed. The actual rune marks themselves looked damn near festering. It hurt like hell and I groaned. Pressing my hand against it, I let out a roar as it shook me. There was no way this was how it was supposed to be. Something was wrong with the magic.

The problem was that I couldn’t ask anyone. I wasn’t about to go to Shep and ask him what the hell was going on. There was no way I was going to ask my father. My whole body shook at the thought. Just because I used something he gave me didn’t mean my feelings hadn’t changed on how he tore our family and pack apart. We didn’t have any magic users on the territory and they weren’t easy to get ahold of either.

My eyes closed for a moment as the pain worsened. Noah and Finn might know someone, but that would be trusting either of them. Something I was not willing to do either. Sighing, I rubbed the back of my hand against my forehead. I needed to do something, though. This was getting to be too much.

Some days, the wound looked like an old scar. Completely closed and didn’t even bother me. Other days, it was like this. So painful that it would actually stop me from working. Or make me cough up blood. Usually, my mind felt jumbled during those times as well. I needed to do something. Talk to someone.

Forcing myself to shift back into my wolf form, Eros was nowhere to be found today. I turned south instead of continuing my run. My run turned into a jog and trying not to stumble with how bad the pain was. I continued past the territory line south and to the bar. It pained me to do this. Still, it was better than anyone on the pack territory.

It was cool since it was November, but it still hadn’t snowed. My paws crunched through the mud before I looped around the back. Shifting, I grabbed one of the extra shirts but grimaced when all the extra pants were too small. Shaking my head, I knocked on the back door.

Finn was the one who opened the back door. His eyes narrowed before he looked me up and down. Mouth turning down, I could see a tick in his jaw.

“What do you want?”

“I just…needed to talk to Noah for a second. And…maybe a cigarette.”

He snorted. “Yeah. Give him a minute.”

The door slammed behind him and I listened as the lock automatically engaged. They built this place to be a fortress. Aelia had done an incredible job on security. Apparently, she had a few random properties that she had done that level of security in all of them. She tried to explain she wasn’t paranoid, but she couldn’t really ever convince me. Though, after she left, I’m sure she built up more enemies than just the Hunters she killed.

Sitting down on the bench, I leaned my back against the table and looked out at the forest. Maybe it was something I should expand my territory to include this area. I might get away with it now that there was going to be a new Alpha King.

Behind me, there was a click, and the door shut. Noah stood next to where I was sitting, an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He handed me the box and as I took one out, a lighter came out and lit the end before he handed it to me as well.

“What do you want?”

I snorted. “I thought we were on better terms.”

“We were on better terms with you because of Sol. I doubt you would hesitate to try the same shit you did before you knew she was your sister.”

My lips pursed. “I don’t feel nearly as much hatred toward your kind as I did. You can thank Aelia for that.”

Noah blew out some smoke before his eyes narrowed. “What are you actually doing here? You can’t be here for a social chat. I mean, you’ve got people you actually like in your pack.”

“Yeah. Well, it’s been a little tense lately.”

“Silas.”

I looked up at him, taking a drag of the cigarette.

“Get to the damn point. I have a mate who needs me.”

Chuckling, I shook my head. “I had a question about magic.”

His eyebrow rose, and he turned to me fully, tapping the ash off his cigarette. “Magic? Like Solaris’ magic or…”

“Something else.”

“I don’t know if I can help you. I’m pretty limited in what I know. Everything I know is through Sol or Lor. So, I’m not sure I’m the one you need to speak to.”

I nodded. “I figured. Still, you probably know more than anyone in the pack. Thought I would take a chance.”

Noah narrowed his eyes and walked around, sitting next to me on the bench. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it. I leaned forward, trying to think about how to word my question.

“Is there a point where magic can fester?”

“Fester? Like…an actual wound?”

Slowly, I nodded again. “Like a scar or wound that refuses to heal.”

He hummed, leaning back against the table. “Yes? I mean, there are so many types of magic out there. However, if your body rejects the magic…”

“Rejects it?” I turned to him, interested. “Like my body is actively fighting it?”

Noah took another drag, letting it out slowly. “Yes. Basically. Solaris had that issue originally when Lor used magic to give her real limbs. It wasn’t pretty. Some days were better than others, but it got to where Sol gave up. Lor had to do years of research to get them to where they could shift with her. Before that, she couldn’t shift unless she removed her arm and leg.”

“So…it’s like…an infection?”

“Well, your body is seeing it as that. Or whatever is fighting it. Depends on the magic, honestly. It could not be your body, but something else.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Like what?”

“Your soul, your bond, hell, even your wolf. If any part of you rejects it, it’s going to hurt like hell until one side wins.”

Looking down, I clasped my hands together. That made sense. I frowned and reached into my mind for Eros, but he was still out of reach. If it was him trying to fight the magic, then he was causing us more pain. It could also be a combination of him and the mate bond that was trying to push forward.

It had been getting worse, wanting me to reach out, to touch Nate. To mark him. To want to make sure he was okay. During the times it hurt the worst, I could feel him more. So, it made sense that the bond was also fighting the magic.

“Let me guess, you did something stupid and now you’re paying the price.” With a smirk, Noah faced me. “Yeah, your face says it all.”

He got up and stretched. “Well, whatever it is, let’s hope whatever part of you that’s fighting it wins.”

“Why would you say that?”

Noah raised his eyebrow. “Because your literal self is fighting whatever dumbass decision you made. It’s telling you, unconsciously, that you were wrong. That there is something bad happening. So, I hope that whatever strength is fighting that wins.”

Frowning, I shook my head. “It shouldn’t. We need the strength.”

“Silas.”

I looked up at Noah, surprised by the much more serious look on his face.

“Magic doesn’t give us strength. It never will. Magic is chaotic. Honestly, I would call it inherently evil, with the ability to be manipulated to do good things. A witch will just bend the will of the magic to do what they want. There is always a cost, though. A price to be paid and usually, someone loses something or everything.” He pocketed the box of cigarettes and the lighter. “Whatever you did, if it still hasn’t completely taken hold, I suggest you fight it, too. Because you won’t realize what you are giving up until it’s too late.”

Noah walked past me and punched in the numbers for the pad outside. I furrowed my brow before turning.

“You’re not going to try to convince me? Or get me into contact with someone who could remove it?”

He stopped, the door open slightly. “With how you’re talking, you don’t think it was a dumb decision yet. So, I’m not going to waste my breath on you. If there was something you had in common with Solaris, it’s that. Second, if you’ve already invoked the magic, no one can help you. It’s too late for anyone other than what is fighting it back already.”

The door slammed shut behind him and I sighed, rubbing my forehead. Pulling my shirt out, I looked down at my chest. The rune marks still looked terrible. My eyes closed, and I did my best to reach out to Eros.

‘Is this your doing, Eros?’

There was no reply.

‘Damn it! Eros! This will help us! You’re only making things worse!’ I growled, but still, there was no answer.

Sighing, I gave up. I shifted, the shirt torn to shreds as I ran back to the pack. Once I got to the pack house, I shifted and pulled on clothes before going inside. One thing I didn’t need was questions about the wounds. Meredith was rummaging around the kitchen, putting away groceries. Her eyebrow rose when she watched me come in.

“Everything okay? Gamma was freaking out when you left the territory.”

“I’m fine. Just went for a brief run. Nothing crazy.”

She didn’t believe me, but she didn’t press me further. “Did you want something to eat?”

The clock said it was already two, and I sighed. “If you could. I’m going to jump in the shower and then be down in my office.”

“Alright, Alpha.”

Walking up to the second floor, I ran straight into Nate. Neither of us were paying attention, and I reached out to grab him. The sparks were so intense that I nearly dropped him. Pulling him up, I caught myself by bracing myself against the wall.

“You okay?” I asked on reflex.

His deep blue eyes looked up at me and I felt my heart hammer. Not just that, but the pain in my chest got worse. He was quiet, looking at me. I could feel his emotions through the bond so strongly. It confused me. There was so much pain and confusion. Nate was also clamming up, as though he were waiting for me to yell at him.

“Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He looked away from me, waiting for my reply.

Had I really been that bad lately that he would do this automatically every time we spoke? I loosened my grip on his arm, but my fingers brushed over his skin.

“Neither was I.”

Nate nodded, still not looking up at me. “Next time, maybe tell us you’re leaving territory. Sam freaked out.”

“I will.”

Seeing his surprise on his face, his eyes looking up to me, made me purse my lips. The action caught his attention, and I watched him glance down. Between us, the bond thrummed intensely and I could almost forget the pain. I wanted to drown in him. My face closed the distance, now feeling his breath fan over my skin.

“Si-las…w-what…?”

I swallowed. The bond was taking over. He smelled like the summer rain. His favorite time of year. When we were little, he used to stand out in the rain by himself. Usually, he would end up with some kind of cold after it, but Nate always said that it was worth it. That he could be closer to the goddess in the rain. Closer to everything around us.

Suddenly, an intense, scalding burn hit me. I put my hand over my chest, stumbling back for a moment. Nate watched me, frozen. The intensity of the pain was too much. Shaking my head, I turned and slammed my door behind me.

It lessened the further away from him I got, and slamming the door shut in the bathroom, I tore off my shirt. My chest was bleeding, and I turned on the shower, breathing through the pain. The bond wasn’t just a weakness; it was literally bringing us pain. Nate was a liability.

‘No, Silas. Stop fighting it. The more you fight it…’

‘Shut up, Eros. I’m not talking about you with this. Not now.’