The Full Moon Choice

The next day, I was up before the sun. The cabin was quiet, except for Serena’s soft breathing in the next room.

I got ready in the dark. It was cold, so I put on my black pants and a green shirt that matched the trees. I laced my boots tight and crept out so I wouldn't wake anyone.

The village was way too quiet. Everyone was waiting for the ceremony, and it felt like a heavy fog was hanging over us.

I went to the training yard to clear my head. Jax was already there, sharpening a knife.

"You’re early," Jax said, looking up for a second.

"Couldn't sleep," I shrugged. "You?"

"Same. Ronan is pacing like a wolf in a cage. The Council kept him up all night talking."

I picked up a wooden staff and spun it. "About the spies?"

"Partly." Jax looked at me, then back at his blade. "Partly about tonight. Everyone is betting on him picking Isolde, I think it bothers him."

I gripped the staff harder. "Well, of course. Her family is powerful. They have the best warriors."

Jax looked at me closely. "Are you okay with that?"

I forced a shrug. "It’s his life. The pack needs help."

He narrowed his eyes. "If you say so."

We practiced for a while, but I wasn't really there. My head was full of Ronan’s words from last night. “I feel it too.” He had held my hand like he never wanted to let go. But duty was always there, pulling him away. Or maybe I wasn't fit for him, the adopted stray being a Luna? Who was I kidding.

Inside, Mom was fiddling with Serena's dress, a deep blue gown clinging to her curves, a shiny pin on her hair, no doubt she got her beauty from mom. Serena spun around, happily.

"Looking good," Mom said, smiling.

"Everyone's going to stare at you tonight." Mom said beaming.

Mom turned. "Liora, you should wear a nicer outfit.”

"I don't have anything," I murmured.

Serena glowered. "Well you could borrow something of mine. Just don't bend your elbows or the shoulders might split."

I turned and went to my room to change into the white shirt I'd kept aside for special occasions. Hardly anything, but it was clean so I could wear it.

By sunset, the whole pack was gathered near the stone hall. Torches were lined along the paths and the full moon was out in the sky, shining big and bright. It made my skin itch with the need to shift into my wolf, but I stayed still. I was just there to watch.

I found a seat in the back. Everyone was whispering, looking up at the platform where Ronan stood. He wore dark robes and looked miserable. His eyes moved over the crowd until they found me. I felt the bond flare up. Then, he looked away.

Serena pushed through the crowd and stood next to me. "There he is," she whispered. "He looks amazing, right?" I didn't answer. “Too bad you can't have him.” She added.

Elder Mara stepped forward. “The time has come! Our Alpha must choose his Luna to lead us into the future!”

The crowd became silent. Ronan stepped to the edge of the platform.

"Ronan Voss," Elder Mara said. "Will you step forward, before the Moon Goddess and your confident pack, to declare your Luna?”

Stepping forward, "The Shadow Pack is close," Ronan said, his voice loud but flat. "We need strength. We need allies to keep our borders safe."

The crowd cheered. Serena nudged me. "Here it comes!"

Ronan didn't look at Isolde, and he didn't look at me. "I chose Isolde Crowe as my Luna. No one's more suited to be my Luna and her family will bring the warriors we need to stand together."

The words felt like a punch to my stomach. The bond snapped, it was a sharp, terrible pain, like something was being ripped out of my chest. I gasped and grabbed my ribs, trying to breathe. Around me, people were screaming and cheering. Isolde walked up to the platform, smiling like she had won a prize. Ronan took her hand, but he didn't look happy.

I couldn't breathe. The pain was actually real, I stumbled back, my vision was getting blurry.

"You okay?" Serena asked. "You look like you're going to faint."

"I'm fine," I managed to say. "I Just… need some space."

I pushed through the crowd, running away from the lights and the cheering. I couldn't be there.

I was leaning against a stone wall outside when I felt someone behind me. It was Ronan. He had slipped away from the party. His face was white and he looked tired.

"Liora," he said.

I turned my back on him. "Congratulations."

"Liora, please..."

"Don't. You made your choice. You told me you felt the bond, and then you picked her anyway."

His jaw clenched, "The pack…"

"The pack," I said hollowly. "Always the pack. You chose duty over us, you always do. I get it though , it's for the safety and growth of the pack and I'm not one to judge you. Now please go back to your Luna."

"Let me explain," he said, reaching for my arm.

I ripped my arm away. "Explain what? That I’m not important enough? That this bond doesn't matter?"

Tears started to sting my eyes. I didn't want him to see me cry. I didn't want to be the "pity case" Serena said I was. I turned and ran into the night.

I didn't go home that night, instead I went to the river, to our old oak tree. I sat on the ground and let the tears come out. The bond felt weak now, like a heartbeat that was fading away.

Suddenly, my stomach turned. I felt a wave of sickness and I threw up in the grass. When it was over, I sat up and touched my belly. A strange, quiet feeling came over me. I knew, deep down. I was pregnant with his child. I've been suspecting it for sometime now hoping to tell him when I get the chance but what's the use now? I thought to myself.

Some days before this ceremony, Ronan came here looking all dejected and seeking solace in the peace of this spot. I happened to be here that night and he told me all about his argument with his dad. Yes, he grew up having Isolde around but they were barely friends, she was the daughter of Alpha Gideon, the King of Crowe’s pack. He was friends with Alpha Maxwell, Ronan's dad, so naturally they grew up around each other.

He had expected his dad to arrange a marriage with Isolde from the start but seeing it finally felt like he couldn't control his own life anymore. We talked and one thing led to another. I felt maybe this was finally it, maybe he finally felt the way I did. Though a part of me told me not to keep my hope high but I was still expectant, I guess that was why I ended up so hurt that night.

I sat there until the sun started to come up. Then, I made my choice.

I wasn't staying here. I wasn't going to raise his child in the shadows while he lived with his new Luna. I wasn't going to let this pack look down on me anymore.

I went back to the cabin quietly. Everyone was still asleep. I packed a small bag with some clothes, a knife, and the little bit of money I had saved. I also took the old blanket Ronan gave me when we were kids. It still smelled like him.

I stopped at Serena’s door. She was sleeping peacefully. For a second, I wanted to say goodbye, especially to my mom but I knew I couldn't. I closed her door gently and walked out the back.

I walked toward the border, into the wild woods. I ignored the dull ache of the bond. I didn't know where I was going, but I wasn't staying here.

Then I kept walking with nowhere in mind, but one thing was sure I wasn't staying here.