Celine went to the island every year for two weeks. The places she went, the food she ate, and the activities she did were all the same as she did four years ago. She tried to keep his memories alive. At least, once Martin came back, he could find her. But in truth, Celine relived the experience over and over again because she was scared—she was scared everything that had happened between her and Martin was just a dream. Everything happened a long time ago. It had been so long that she was surprised at herself for living with uncertainty for four years. Her family and best friends were also baffled by the drastic change in her. She told them the story, but they didn’t understand her decision. She didn’t allow anyone to follow her on this two-week trip, even though it was during her birthday. The time should be for a celebration and usually every year before coming to Italy. She organized a big party every year. Her friends wanted to organize a party for her
“What happened to Martin? And where are you taking me?” Celine wasn’t certain about the destination the stranger said he would take her to. She was stunned by the information. He introduced himself as Joe. A familiar name she remembered as Martin’s friend. The man seemed trustworthy enough, but still… “Everything that happened was difficult to explain. I’m here to see you today because I think you have the right to know. I can’t stand seeing Martin on that stage anymore. Once you meet him, please promise you won’t get mad.” “I don’t get it….” His presence was baffling, and his words made her even more confused. What exactly does the man mean? “What happened to Martin?” She started to have a bad feeling about this. Her small hands trembled, and she thought of the worst case possible that may happen to the man she loved. “To give you some comfort, I can confirm that he is safe.” “And why hasn’t he…why hasn’t he come back to see me?” She asked so
Martin was looking at the New York City skyline from his condo’s window. His heart was strangely empty. He didn’t understand what was happening to him at this point in his life. His life was shamefully unfulfilled. The court case that he had to endure was resolved through legal means. But the process left scars on his heart. The wound that he thought was completely healed was reopened the second time, and more severe injuries were inflicted in the incidents that no one should know. Throughout those horrible times, the only source of comfort he had was the memories of those two weeks with that girl. She used to be his girl. Even though that was the case, her flawless angelic face was the one image he was trying to forget. But no matter how much he tried, he could not forget her. He couldn’t let go of the memories. His thoughts drown in the memories we spent together. He wondered how she was. He assumed she would be happy without him. She should have a good l
From the story Celine heard from Joe, she imagined Martin being confined in a rehab or a retreat somewhere, but the place he brought her was somewhere completely different.A residential neighborhood in the Upper Eastside?“Let me talk to the security.” Joe excused himself before taking her to the private elevator. A luxurious condo in a wealthy neighborhood was not the place she expected to be in. But that didn’t stop her from worrying about Martin.Is he alright? How’s his health? Joe said he wasn’t the same man, and Celine was worried something had happened to Martin. The criminal trial she had just heard about really alarmed her the most.At this point, no matter how much she tried to understand the situation through Joe’s story, it would be so much better if Martin could explain it to her himself. The questions that pained her heart still lingered—why hadn’t he come back to see her? Why? Why? Why? There was the question of ‘why’ that kept repeating in her head.Although Joe said
The man in front of her still clenched his fists and avoided her gaze. He was making her feel uncomfortable. He made her feel like a burden—being here in his presence felt like an unnecessary burden. It was then Celine felt like an idiot. Perhaps it was all in my head. The man she had been fantasizing about every day—dreaming about reuniting and hugging him tightly—that same man who was sitting in front of her didn’t utter a word. He didn’t even want to look at her. To contemplate our relationship, if there was any, Martin didn’t say anything about how he felt about her. He said he liked her. But he never said the word love. Not even once. In all our interactions, it was her alone that confessed her love for him time and again. It was her who poured out her feelings without knowing his view of her. It was her that forced him to promise. And it was her that said she would wait, although he asked her to let go. Maybe it was all in her head.
To Celine, two paths emerged… The two paths were diverged by reasons and emotions. She was overwhelmed by anger and hurt, and all she wanted was to walk away, but that 23-year-old girl, the girl she once was, stopped her two legs from moving. That girl, that besotted young girl—the past her that was deeply in love with Martin—the girl that overlooked reason and dignity—that girl demanded that she stayed. And once Celine weighed her options, she chose to stay and listen to what Martin had to say. They still held each other in silence. Celine waited for Martin to continue saying something, anything. Just now…did he tell her he loved her? Eventually, the man spoke. He spoke out his heart. “Don’t say…that I’ve never loved you. Of course, I do. I’ve loved you since we were together. I love you, knowing I should not love you. Since then, my heart beat faster whenever I hear you talk about your feelings. And although we were not
“Doc, what did she mean? What do you think she wants me to do?”Today, Martin had an appointment with his therapist. He still saw her weekly. The issues he discussed were usually his fear and worries during the week. The bad memories reemerged once in a while, some weeks more frequent than others, and each set of sessions focused on any issue he wanted to work on. And the topic of discussion today was the matter of the heart.His therapist, Gisele, kept her cool once she knew she had to advise on his love problems. Her expertise was in treating trauma victims, and he had never thought of bringing this personal issue to her, but he didn’t have that many options. In the past few years, he talked to her about all sorts of problems—his nightmares, his panic attacks, issues with his parents, his fears, and now his love life. The reason he could recover and walk around town and go about his day-to-day business was because of her. She had been his rock.The bottom line was that he trusted he
Martin was sitting on the plane that was about to depart from JFK airport. The destination was Heathrow airport. He hadn’t been to London for a while, and this trip was exciting for him. In truth, much of the source of excitement was from his travel companion—sitting beside him was Celine. First, she insisted on flying first class, but he casually mentioned that we could sit closer together if it was business class. And here they were, sitting side by side on the same row. Celine didn’t seem so pleased having him around. Her grimace was evidence, and she kept avoiding his gaze. Her feelings were always obvious—when she was angry, he knew. What was important to him was to get back in her good graces. She announced her intention clear that he had to prove himself. He understood the concept of regaining trust but acting on it takes time. The discussion with his therapist gave him some reflections on the next steps. He would follow her to London. He ask