Chapter Five- Anxious About Marking

Chapter Five

(Wilder POV)

I hate this feeling, it’s like I have no control over myself. My anxiety makes me ache to shift but I don’t allow myself to. For two days anytime I shift I would find myself at the edge of mine and Riverbend pack territory. I tell myself it is natural that I want to make sure someone that saved my pack members was okay but I can’t explain this empty feeling away. 

I was happy yesterday when Sylvia came to visit, I couldn’t wait for her to meet Elena. Like with everyone Elena made fast friends with Sylvia. I just watched them banter back and forth not talking about anything really with satisfaction. I truly love her and watching her happy always made me happy. I kept glancing down at her stomach, anxious to see it grow with my pup. However, that wasn’t the only thing that I felt anxious about. It seemed like I kept glancing at the clock waiting on something. Then it came, Sylvia updated us on Spencer just before she went to leave and I felt my anxiety lessen. I have noticed Elena gets jealous anytime Spencer is mentioned and this was no different. She went to fill Sylvia in on what Spencer did. To my surprise instead of support, Sylvia shut her down. Elena looks so sad since the visit and I want to cheer her up so when Bradley called to say he found his mate I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to invite him, his mate and my sister over to celebrate and share the news of our pup.

Elena is excited again and planning the perfect dinner. I have come to the hospital to invite Paxton since he hasn’t left since she was admitted. The anxious feeling grows as I near her room and I hear voices from inside her room.

 “I won’t go into details but after what he did and what happened to me I learned that I would have to save myself and that is what I did when I ripped out my fathers heart. The moon goddess gifts her children with mates but that doesn’t mean they are deserving of the one they got. I choose to believe that it is not me that is undeserving. It is him who is undeserving of me.”

Anger and shame bubbled up inside me as I knocked the supply cart over and stomped away. I didn’t save her. She is right but she went about it the wrong way. If I hadn’t been trying to convince her pack I was heartless I would never have allowed her to get hurt that way. How fucking dare her say I am undeserving of her. I am an Alpha, the Goddesses Alpha and she is just some little conniving girl trying to turn my friends against me. I know by the scents that it was at least Sylvia in that room. Elena was right when she voiced she thought Spencer was stealing my family. 

“Whoa Wilder where are you going?”

“I was coming to find you. Your brother is bringing his mate over and we are going to have dinner at the pack house. I have an announcement as well.”

“What time? Spencer gets released today.”

“5:30”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I exit the hospital and go back to the pack house to help finish dinner. Elena is running around sitting up the table all flustered. Even flustered, she looks beautiful. Her blond hair in curlers, her sun dress fit perfectly over her body. I grab her as she goes to rush by.

“How did I get so lucky?” 

She gets on her tiptoes and pecks my lips. “I’ll show you how lucky you are later if the dinner goes well.” She pulls away and runs up the stairs to finish getting ready.

Everyone has just finished eating. “If you will excuse me I have an announcement 

I would like to make. First congratulations to Bradley, Christine seems amazing. Now on to my news, Elena stand up please.” I wait until she stands. “Not only am I lucky enough to be this woman's second chance mate but she is also carrying my pup.”

“Wow. My little brother is going to be a father. You're so young.” Trying to sound enthusiastic but I can sense the reluctance in Olivia’s voice. I wrap my arms around Elena. My sister's weird enthusiasm is bothering me. As if sensing my mood Olivia comes around and hugs us both.

After everyone comes up and congratulates us Elena excuses herself stating she’s tired.

“Well I am going to go too. Spencers been alone since we got home.”

“Spencer? Who is Spencer? Is that your mate Paxton?” My nails elongate digging into my fist at the question. I notice Bradley looking uneasily at Paxton.

Paxton starts to laugh. “No Spencer isn’t my mate. The thought actually is kind of gross.” My fists relax. “No, not my mate but she is important.”

“I would say so, she saved my mate and my pup.” Christian wraps his arms around my sister.

“Well then I want to meet her.”

“I'll let her know we are on our way then.”

“Yea we will all go.” I comment. I want to make sure she can’t turn any more people against me and Elena.

By the time we leave Paxtons I'm beyond irritated.. What did Christine mean Spencer's not a witch? Everyone ignored my questions through the mind link. Anyone can use a potion but Christine was right only a witch can use a potion on an alpha due to our natural strength and abilities. When Trey returns from his mission hunting down the rogues I'll get my answers from him.

“Now I know why Elena is feeling anxious about not being marked.” Christina attempts to whisper to Olivia. Was Elena insecure about being marked?

“Spencer is gorgeous isn't she?”

“Hell gorgeous doesn't describe it. Those curves, her long black hair and those got to be the eyes of the goddess. If I wasn't marked even I'd be all over that.” Bradley lets out a low growl at Christine's words and the girls just laugh.

I stay silent as if I didn't hear anything said but in my mind I picture her. Her skin is paler than most wolves but then again she doesn't have one. Her long slender legs she does not need  to wear heels as she's at least 57. She never shows them off though not even in these hotter days of the summer. She never wears makeup she doesn't need too. Her bottom lip is full while her top lip is thinner. She wears her black hair loose around her as it cascades down to her waist. Her large honey colored eyes are surrounded by thick long lashes. Despite myself I have to admit that she is a rare beauty and by the time I reach my room I am painfully hard with the image of her in my mind.

“Finally coming to bed?” I am snapped from my thoughts as Elena's voice comes from the bed. I begin to feel ashamed of my thoughts as I look down at her. “Is that for me?” She looks down at my erection as I start to discard my pants.

“Who else would it be for?” The words feel thick in my mouth.

“I don't know, you just came back from Paxton's.” She looks at her hands, “I went down to look for you and one of the kitchen Omegas told me where you went.”

Christine's words play in my mind and the guilt settles in my gut even more. “I just don't want her spreading more lies. Now let me show you how much I have missed you.”

 I step toward her and grab her by the ankles pulling her further down the bed. A growl and appreciation comes from my throat as the nightgown she wears rides up and I see that she doesn't have on any panties. I waste no time before I lean down and start licking between her folds. Within seconds she is moaning and writhing beneath me.  I slide two fingers into her wetness and her hole welcomes them without issue accommodating them easily.  I continue to lick and suck on her clit as I pump my fingers in-and-out of her until she reaches climax. I kiss my way up her stomach removing her nightgown as I go. I take some time and suck her hard nipple in my mouth. When she begins to rock her pelvis toward me I release her nipple and go to kiss her. I push down the moment of disappointment I feel when I look up into her face and I don't see those honey colored eyes. I begin to kiss her on her lips as I slowly slide myself into her. I force my body to make slow measured strokes in and out of her as that is her preference.  I can feel her quickly clenching around me and know that she is close. I fight to keep my eyes open as every time they close it's not her that I am picturing. I feel myself becoming closer and I kiss my way down to her neck. Not for the first time I noticed how her head moved to the side giving me better access. I pull away momentarily to look at her eyes and see a wanting there that I had not noticed before. I begin to kiss again in the area where her shoulder and her neck meet as I continue to pump in-and-out of her seeking my release. Just before I find it I close my eyes and that face with those honey colored eyes filters in. My teeth extend and I bite in marking her. She screams out her release as I growl out mine retracting my teeth and licking the mark closed as the sound of a painful scream fills my mind. I pull out of her and she lets out a moan slightly. I pull her close to me light sparks due to our new bond meeting where our skin does. Not long after we both drift off to sleep guilt building in my chest.