Chapter 4: An Anniversary For One

Chapter 4

Amber’s POV

Maaga pa lang ay nasa kusina na ako. By the time the clock struck noon, my feet were already aching, nakawala na rin sa hair clip ang ilang hibla ng buhok ko, at may bahid pa ng harina ang kaliwa kong pisngi.

But I didn’t mind dahil special ang araw na ito. Today was our first wedding anniversary. I knew our marriage wasn’t exactly something worth celebrating. Pierre probably didn’t even remember the date, and even if he did, I doubted it meant anything to him. But it meant something to me. A lot, actually.

Kaya naman gusto kong maging special ang gabing ito. I wanted to create a memory... even if it was only for me.

I looked around the kitchen and smiled at the dishes I had already prepared. Creamy mushroom pasta, herb-roasted chicken, steak, mashed potatoes, a fresh salad, and Pierre’s favorite seafood soup. Actually, lahat ng niluto ko ay favorite ni Pierre. His mom had helped me with the menu. Tinawagan ko kasi siya bago ako nag-grocery kahapon para itanong kung anu-ano ang mga paboritong pagkain ni Pierre, and she had happily listed them all down for me.

I was really lucky. Mommy Eloise had always been kind to me. Ganoon din ang buong pamilya ni Pierre. They welcomed me warmly from the very beginning and treated me with nothing but kindness, kahit ang Lolo Felipe niya. Up until now I still couldn’t believe I had been accepted so easily by them, even though Pierre and I were only bound by an arranged marriage.

Sa loob ng isang taon naming pagsasama ni Pierre, ni minsan ay hindi nila pinaramdam sa’kin na hindi ako belong sa family nila. Mommy Eloise and even Pierre's younger sister, Penelope, would sometimes visit me here at the house just to spend time with me. Kaya isa rin sila sa mga rason kung bakit patuloy pa rin akong kumakapit sa marriage namin ni Pierre, because I didn’t want to lose the family I had found in them.

Anyway, I’m almost done with the cooking and the table is nearly complete. Cake nalang ang kulang—wait! The cake!

“Oh my God!” singhap ko nang maalala na may nakasalang pala ako sa oven.

Halos patakbo akong lumapit doon, pero huli na ako. As soon as I opened the oven door, the smell of something burnt hit my nose.

“Shit!” hindi ko napigilan ang mura na lumabas sa bibig ko at napahawak sa noo habang nakatitig sa sunog na cake.

God. Why didn’t I hear the timer?

Nanlulumong nilabas ko iyon sa oven at nilagay sa sink. Napabuntong-hininga nalang ako. Now I had to start all over again. ’Di bale! I still have enough time pa naman!

“It’s okay, Amber,” I muttered, trying to encourage myself. “You can still do this.”

Muli akong nagsimulang mag-bake. This time, halos hindi na ako umalis sa harap ng oven at baka di ko na naman marinig na tumunog ang timer. After it was done baking, pinalamig ko muna iyon bago sinimulang lagyan ng frosting.

But then, it started collapsing. The middle of the cake suddenly sank at unti-unti ring dumulas pababa ang frosting.

I stared at it in disbelief.

“No… no, no, no…”

I sighed heavily and dropped my shoulders.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Syempre, hindi sumagot yung cake.

Napasandal ako sa kitchen counter at tinakpan ang mukha ko gamit ang dalawang palad. This was already my second failed attempt today. I had successfully baked one yesterday during practice, so why was everything going wrong now? Of all days, ngayong araw pa talaga.

Napatingin ako sa orasan, and it was already four in the afternoon.

Sinabi sa akin ng secretary ni Pierre na maaga raw itong uuwi ngayong gabi. Nag-message kasi ako sa kaniya kaninang umaga para itanong kung nakabalik na ba si Pierre mula sa business trip nito, and he confirmed that Pierre was back in the office and planned to leave work early. Which meant… I really didn’t have much time left. I had to finish this as soon as possible bago pa dumating si Pierre at maabutan akong ganito. Hindi pwede ’yun! Dapat perfect na ang lahat bago pa siya makauwi!

I looked at the remaining ingredients on the counter and took a deep breath.

“Okay, Amber,” mahina kong sabi habang mariing ikinukuyom ang mga kamao ko. “You can do this! One more try.”

I rolled up my sleeves and started all over again. Sa pagkakataong ito ay mas naging maingat ako sa bawat hakbang. Paulit-ulit kong binasa ang recipe para matiyak na wala akong makakaligtaan. Sinukat ko nang mabuti ang bawat ingredients, sinunod ang tamang paraan ng paghahalo, at halos hindi ako umalis sa tabi ng oven habang hinihintay itong maluto.

More than an hour later, I stared at the finished cake.

A slow smile spread across my face. “I did it...”

It wasn’t perfect. Hindi ito kasingganda ng mga cake na naka-display sa mga mamahaling bakery na may flawless decorations at elegant designs. The frosting wasn’t completely smooth, and the words ‘Happy 1st Anniversary’ written in the center were slightly crooked. It looked homemade—very homemade. But it was perfect in my eyes, because I made it with love.

Maingat kong inilagay ang cake sa gitna ng dining table bago umatras ng ilang hakbang upang pagmasdan ang kabuuan.

Hindi ko napigilang mapangiti. Napakaganda ng buong dining room. The lights were dimmed, candles sat in the middle of the table, the foods were arranged neatly, and the cake sat proudly at the center. Everything looked warm and romantic. Like the anniversary dinner of a happily married couple.

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi ko. I wished we were one.

I immediately shook off the sad thought and glanced at the clock. It was already six in the evening.

“Oh no!” I gasped. I had completely lost track of time. Mabilis akong tumakbo paakyat sa kuwarto upang magbihis.

After taking a quick shower, I changed into a simple yellow dress that Pierre had never seen before. I had bought it months ago and had been waiting for the right occasion to wear it.

Bahagya kong kinulot ang dulo ng buhok ko at naglagay ng kaunting makeup, just enough to bring some color back to my tired face. Nang humarap ako sa salamin ay hindi ko napigilang mapangiti.

I looked... happy. A little nervous. A little hopeful. I smiled at my reflection one more time before heading downstairs.

Isa-isa kong sinindihan ang mga kandila at sinigurong maayos ang lahat. Everything was ready. All that was left was to wait for Pierre.

Napatingin ako sa orasan at mag-aalas-siyete na ng gabi. He should be here soon. Umupo ako sa couch at tahimik na naghintay.

Seven o’clock came. Then eight. I checked my phone, but there was no messages, no calls.

By nine, the food had already gone cold. Tumayo ako at isa-isang pinainit uli ang mga iyon. Ayokong mawalan ng pag-asa. Maybe he had just been caught up in a meeting, or perhaps traffic was bad. Maybe something unexpected happened.

Time continued to pass.

Halos minu-minuto akong napapasilip sa bintana sa tuwing may maririnig akong sasakyang dumaraan sa labas. Each time, disappointment settled a little deeper inside my chest.

Lumipas na ang alas-dyes, hanggang sa nag alas-onse na. I was back on the couch, staring at the front door. The smile on my face had long since turned bitter. I started feeling silly. Halos maupos na ang mga kandila at lumamig na uli ang lahat ng pagkain, but Pierre still wasn’t home. Everything suddenly looked pathetic.

Napapikit ako. I suddenly felt tired. Very, very tired. Maybe... maybe he really forgot. Or worse, maybe he remembered and simply didn’t care.

Parang may mapait na bumara sa lalamunan ko. I wrapped my arms around myself, my chest aching.

I felt foolish. Why did I expect anything? I should know better by now. I should have learned my lesson a long time ago. Pero bakit ganon? Even now... even with the disappointment slowly breaking my heart, I still couldn’t bring myself to give up. Ganito na siguro talaga ako ka-martyr. So pathetic.

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko at muling itinuon ang tingin sa pintuan. I kept listening for the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. I kept hoping. Because maybe... just maybe... Pierre would still come home.

So I waited... and waited... and waited as every passing minute shattered my heart a little more.