Chapter 5

I was gutted when we walked into The Corrie, the university’s lunch hall and found the group already there. They were all messing around and sitting around on the tables. I wanted to walk straight back out, but I could feel him there. I grabbed my coffee and sat at a table with Cassie. She was chattering away, but I wasn’t listening to a word of what she said. 

Instead, I sat there basking in his warmth. “You’re one of them, aren’t you?” I thought about the words rather than speaking out loud.

“Maybe you will realise why it is so dangerous for people to know anything about us.” I wanted him to be wrong. It seemed like such a hurdle to overcome.

“Maybe if they all knew, they would accept me.”

“You need to stay away from all of us. They will never accept you, or me, if they knew. They are your enemies. You just don’t see it.” He kept referring to the two of us as a unit, but I had no idea what he even thought that meant. I had no idea who Pip really was. How could we be a unit?

“Esme, I know you, I know your innermost thoughts. We are a unit because we are destined. Destined doesn’t mean easy though. I know you want to rush. You want everything right now, but that can’t happen. I know every hope and desire you have. I know that you’re starting to feel hotter just hearing my voice. I know you want me to show myself now and take you as mine right here in front of everyone. It’s not as though I don’t want that too. You have no idea how difficult it is for me to suppress my primal need to bury myself inside of you, but I have to. I have to keep you safe.”

I could feel the heat burning my cheeks. I felt like I had a fever. “Esme, are you feeling alright? You don’t look good.” Cassie’s voice seemed to break my connection with Pip and I almost hated her for it. I tried to swallow my annoyance and focus my attention on her.

“I’m fine. It’s just been a rough day.” Lying was starting to come more naturally to me, but I didn’t like it.

“I’m sure tomorrow will be better. Have you got any other lectures today?” I looked at her blankly for a moment. Thinking about lectures was hardly easy, while I knew Pip was still watching me.

“No, I’m supposed to be doing self-study this afternoon, but given that I have missed so much already, I have no idea what I am supposed to be studying.” I glanced over my shoulder at the group of them, but not one of them was looking in my direction. It wasn’t as though he would be stupid enough to keep watching me continuously.

“We’re supposed to be covering The Adventures of Roderick Random. We can head to the library together.”

“That would really help, if you don’t mind.” I grabbed my bag quickly and followed Cassie from the room. Pip wanted us to keep things under wraps, so the more distance, the better.

We spent all afternoon in the library and by the time the sun set that evening; I felt so relieved to have found someone I felt like I could depend on. I had finally found a friend. It was all I had wanted for so long and I finally managed to acquire it. I walked out of the main campus with my head held high, carrying my newly borrowed books and heading for my car. 

I heard the rustling behind me but paid it no mind. The whole campus was set up like a vast nature reserve, and I had read that they used it for research on another course. With so many varieties of plants around, the wind seemed to blow through them as though the Goddess herself was playing music with them. It was so peaceful out there with the moon shining back at me from the lake. 

My parents had always been so careful not to allow me out after dark, but it made no sense to me. It always seemed like the safest time for someone like me to be roaming the world. I turned my head behind me as I heard another noise. One that sounded distinctly not like the wind. I came face to face with it. I gripped my books more tightly to my chest and started to step backwards, to try to give myself some room. 

As I found the edge of the pavement with my heel, I fell backwards with a thump, having no way to break my fall. As it came closer and closer towards me, I could feel the aggression. It seemed to radiate from the beast as hotly as the burning sun. I didn’t scream; I didn’t even tremble, but only out of shock.

My mother and father had spoken of werewolves when they discussed the reasons why I shouldn’t leave the house, but somehow I never expected to come face to face with one. I started trying to move backwards across the ground and towards my car, but with every slight movement, the wolf got closer to me. I wanted to scream out, but knew it was pointless. The amber-furred creature in front of me with its bright orange eyes would not be dealt with easily. 

I watched as it started to pull backwards slightly, as it lifted on its paws and I knew it was getting ready to strike. Within moments, I would be a goner. I cursed my parents for never teaching me to fight and for being right that the world wasn’t safe for me. I had only had one day in the big wide world and had proved them right that it was too dangerous for me. Not even knowing what I was supposed to do, but I knew what I would do. I would freeze, and I wouldn’t fight back because I had no idea what that would even look like, never mind how to do it. 

I wanted to go back. To tell my parents that they were right, and that I was happy with the life I had. I’d had Pip. I shouldn’t have been greedy. Until he came for me, I could have stayed in that house forever. Instead, I had romanticised ideas of the world from literature and needed to see them for myself. It had been a foolish notion and the last one I thought as I saw the wolf lunge forward towards me. I closed my eyes and waited for death to take me, almost at peace with the situation I had blindly walked myself into.