"You'll not forget me, won't you?" I asked Claudia, my love.
When I first met her, I thought she'll only get into my nerves, annoy me, and will lose my patience. I understand now whenever Bok tells me that women are the most dangerous human being in the whole world.
He said that women can make you do things you won't expect you'll do for them. They can make you crazy, happy, sad, and drugged. I thought the opposite, women for me are nothing. I don't need a woman in my life. I'm contented with writing. It's my happiness. But when Claudia came, I never knew I will want something so bad that I could risk my life just to get her. I never knew I will feel such incredible feelings. She's the best thing that has happened in my life.
I hugged her even I have to let her go. I have to.
"So, this is it! Uhm...Writan..." She looked at my eyes like anytime soon she's going to break down. And I'm scared because I will want her more to stay.
"Nasabi ko na ba sa 'yong gustong-gusto ko ang mata mo?" she whispered.
It sent me millions of electricity. I can't control myself when it's her, I held her face and memorized every bit of her.
"Did I ever tell you that I love your eyes more?"
Her eyes watered. Seriously, what will I do without you?
"I gonna miss you."
My eyes hurt. I think I'll cry too. I stopped myself. Get a grip, asshole. Don't show her your tears or she might not let go of you.
"I will miss you so much that I wanted to cry," I honestly muttered.
"Aww...you and your words. Being a writer suits you perfectly...."
I laughed. Nagawa ko pang tumawa sa oras na 'to.
"Come on...you have to go."
There's a lump in my throat and tears that was about to fall.
"Can I ask you a favor before I go, Writan?"
"Sure."
"Pwede mo bang sabihin sa akin, mahal kita?"
I found myself holding her hand instead of letting it go.
"Easy." I played it cool even I'm on the verge of whimpering.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Claui."
I wanted to shout those words in my world and her world.
"Goodbye, Writan."
She sure can throw me off with her words. After her farewell, my tears fell. It won't stop now. I looked at our hands, intertwined. I slowly pulled my fingers off her hand.
"Goodbye, my love."
Everyone has a desire in life. "More! More! More!" Everyone has a comfort zone. "Go! Go! Claudia, Go!" Mabilis kong nilagok ang mga maliliit na baso sa harap ko. I didn't mind the bitterness and the toxic flooding my throat. "You won, Claudia!" Tiffany screamed at my ears. Nagmulat ako at nakita ko ang masasayang mukha ng mga kasama ko rito sa club. I can hear their shouts and laughter for me. This is where I belong. Hindi ko na alam ang sunod na pangyayari. Naghilamos lamang ako pagkatapos ng laro namin nang maramdaman ko ang pangingirot ng ulo ko. Then my eyes went black. "Claui! Are you okay?" Naalimpungatan ako sa sigaw ni Tiffany. Kumikirot ang ulo ko. Parang sinusuntok 'yon ng isang milyong kamao. "Nasaan ako?" Naupo ako at tumingin sa paligid. I realized it was Tiffany's room. "Duh...lagi naman kita dinadala rito after you pass out in the club. Masyadong marami ang nainom mo kagabi
"Are you okay?" That's what she asked right after I opened the door. "You won't ask that if you would look at me for once instead of your other daughter." I could see the rage in her eyes. My mother has been a short-tempered person. Like me. We're so similar I wanted to throw up. "Answer my question, Claudia Francesca." I scoffed. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow. "What if I don't? Are you going to throw me out of this house and make me live with Dad? If that so,I will shut up." She took in a sharp breath and stepped into my room. I watched her sat on my bed. She saw the bread I stole in the kitchen but didn't argue with me about it. "Your grandmother was asking me to be with her in her last days. She's not getting any stronger. Gusto ka rin niyang makita bago siya mawala." My mouth formed an 'O'. I've never met Grandma since I was five. Hindi na rin naman kami bumisita pa pagkatapos niyon.
I thought I won't be seeing myself on this vacation. But here I am, traveling with my mother and my sister for God knows how many hours. I groaned in annoyance. "What's wrong, Claudia?" Everything about this is wrong. I looked at my sister sitting on my lap. "Let me drive us there. I want to drive instead of being a pillow for this girl," I said in a disgusted tone. "Hold her for another hour. Malapit na rin naman tayo." I cursed inside of my head. Namamanhid na ang binti ko at hindi rin ako makagalaw dahil sa bigat nitong si Sofia. I drew a long breath. I have no choice and let this slide. An hour had passed and an hour again. After three hours, my mom stopped in an old big house. "I didn't know Grandma's house is bigger than ours." "This is my father's house. The other one we visited when you were younger was your grandmother's, do you still remember?" Tiningnan ko ang mga mata ni Mommy. Umiling ako. "
I went to the seashore that I saw a few meters away from the house. I spent my time thinking about my experiences in life. What happened in the past that brought me so much disappointment, discontentment, and above all...pain. Sino nga ba ang dapat sisihin dito?Hindi ako. My parents made me like this. They smeared dirt on my poor childhood. "Psst!" I winced in shock and gasped when someone touched my shoulders. Mabilis akong napatayo mula sa pagkakaupo ko sa malaking bato na nakita ko rito sa dalampasigan. Nang makita ko kung sino 'yon ay nawala ang bigat sa dibdib ko at sa halip ay galit ang umusbong sa 'kin. "Can you stay away from me?!" He cracked up. I squinte
"Hija, sumalo ka rine sa amin," Grandma offered when I walked downstairs.My mother was busy feeding Sofia while Grandma ate on her own. Doesn't Grandma need more help than Sofia?I rolled my eyes and walked to Grandma. "I'll help you eat."Naupo ako sa tabi niya at kinuha ang kutsara na nasa kamay niya."Hindi na, apo. Matatapos na rin ako rine. Mag-umagahan ka na."I raised a brow. "Okay."Tahimik akong kumuha ng hotdog at banana sa harap ko."Leave the hotdogs for Sofia. Eat the bananas and bacon, Claudia," my mother interfered.Ibinagsak ko ang kutsara ko. It made a noise on the table that made her mad."Of course, you forgot. I hate bacon as much as Ihateyou.""Kayo talagang mag-ina, magka-ugaling magka-ugali kayo, kaya iyan...lagi na lang kayong nagbababag," Grandma voiced out.I lowered my head and laughed so loud it made me cry. I lifted my chin and gave my mother a sul
I heard knocks on my door. I opened my eyes even it won't. I groaned and sat. I looked for the time on my phone and groaned again when I saw it was two am."Claudia! I need you right now! It's your grandmother!"That woke me up. Adrenaline rushed through my body when I stood up and ran outside without talking to Mom. I went to Grandma's room and saw her difficulty in breathing."Grandma!"Hawak-hawak niya ang kanyang dibdib habang nahihirapan sa paghinga. Nagtama ang paningin namin at pagkatapos ay hinawakan niya ako sa kamay."Kuhanin...mo ang libro sa ilalim ng unan ko," utos niya sa akin.I'm panicking. My hands are sweaty when I helped her sat up. Mabilis kong inalis ang unan niya at kinuha ang librong tinutukoy niya."What will I do with this?!" I asked, frustrated.I've never felt worried and teary in my life. I gasped when Grandma held my hand. Tears pooled her eyes."Gusto kong pumasok ka sa...attic. Pinto...p-"
"Bakit naka-lock 'to?" Pinilit kong buksan ang pinto pero hindi talaga magbukas 'yon. Humarap ako sa lalaki na hindi pa rin umaalis hanggang ngayon. "Ni-lock mo ba 'to?" pag-aakusa ko sa kanya. Itinuro niya ang sarili niya. "Ako pa? Have you seen me near your door and lock that? I can't even hold that doorknob." I blinked twice. Napatingin ako kay Sofia na hinihigit ang kamay ko. "I wanna go out," she wailed. Napailing ako. Sumasakit na ang ulo ko. Pinihit ko ulit ang doorknob. Hinampas ko ng palad ko ang pinto. "Is there someone in there?!" I shouted at the door while banging it. "Please, help us get out of here!" Ilang minuto akong kumakatok sa pinto pero walang nagbubukas niyon. I sighed in disbelief and worry.Paano na kami ngayon? "What do you suggest we do?" I asked the guy. He shrugged. He looked at my younger sister. I watched him knelt in front of Sofia. "Hey, littl
Sofia and I stayed in this big room for two days. We haven't gone outside kahit na nate-tempt ako. I don't want to take Sofia around. Baka mapahamak pa siya at ako na naman ang mapagalitan. In the first place,why Mommy leaves her beloved daughter with me? There's no need to go outside. Every hour ay may pumapasok na maid at nagtatanong nang maitutulong niya sa amin. Everything from breakfast to dinner, even snacks is covered. I don't need to lay a finger because the maid would clean the room for us. I like it here. I don't need to face my mother every damn time. I can do everything I want here. I can eat everything I want and most especially, I don't need to take care of my sister because there's a maid who's doing that for me. Napangiti ako nang makita ang papalubog na araw sa labas ng bintana ng kwarto ko. I have a separate room with Sofia and I like this privacy. Napalingon ako nang may kumatok sa pinto. Binuksan ko 'yon, thinking it