Chapter 2

Elina

The days fly by and soon it’s Thursday and we’re on our way to the hotel that sits in the countryside a few miles out of New York. Jason’s parents, his brothers and sister and their other halfs and children are meeting us there. The same is with my bridesmaids, Amanda, Sandra and Jasmine, and their plus ones and Jason’s best man. Jason’s sister was supposed to be a bridesmaid as well, but she is heavily pregnant and in pain so she can’t stand up the whole ceremony.

Me and Jason have separate rooms until Saturday to make sure that we follow all those rules about the wedding ceremony. Jason thought it riddikulus but he gave in when I gave him puppy dog eyes. These days before the wedding takes place, are filled with rehearsals and dinners and dance lessons and what not. Jason has been a little bit cranky and stressed over everything.

We arrive in the afternoon to the hotel and get our keys so that we can unpack. Jason doesn’t even give me a kiss when we go our separate ways. I try to shrug off the feeling of being ignored and focus on unpacking all my clothes, hanging up my beautiful wedding gown. I run my fingers over the rhinestones. I absolutely love it!

There is a knock on my door and when I open Amanda, Sandra, Jasmine and Madeline, Jason’s sister, stand on the other side. 

“Soon it’s showtime!” Jasmine exclaims as she throws herself over me. I laugh as I do my best to not fall on my ass.

“I have the wine.” Sandra says as she squeezes past me and Jasmine into our room. Amanda only shrugs and follows behind. Last Madeline waggles in and gives me a tight hug over her tummy. Then she made a beeline to the one and only stuffed chair in the room.

When Madeline has made herself comfortable she looks up and sees my dress. This is the first time she sees it as she couldn’t join the dresshunt. “Wow. It’s so beautiful. You are going to look like a real princess!” She exclaims.

“Yes! Our girl looks absolutely gorgeous in that!” Jasmine exclaims. “Ah. How I wish I could get a dream wedding like this. But DeShaun can’t even get a hint about proposing!” She shakes her head and pouts as everyone laughs.

I sit down close to Madeline. “I’m so happy that you could make it.” I take her hand and she gives it a squeeze.

“There had to be a baby halfway out for me to miss my little brother's wedding day.” She says with a mischievous smile.

For an hour we sat in my room and talked about all the things that's going to happen tonight and tomorrow. Tonight there is a rehearsal dinner where we get to try out the food that’s going to be served at the reception. Tomorrow it’s rehearsal for the ceremony. The flowers are arriving and everything has to be set up for the reception.

After dinner me and my bridesmaids do some more partying in my room with drinking and dancing. The girls leave before eleven when I hint that I’m tired, even if it’s not true. I know I insisted on having separate rooms, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t sneak over to Jason.

I take a shower and dress up in some new and sexy black lingerie. I style my hair and put on some light makeup. I want to look my best when I seduce my fiance. I put a robe over my outfit, take a last look in the mirror and then sneak off to Jason’s room.

When I reach the door I hear moans and groans from inside. Does he have company? I stare at the door as I feel my insides freeze to ice. I use the spare key that I picked up from the reception earlier to unlock his door. The room smells of sweat and sex and the moans get louder. I feel tears well up in my eyes as I step into the room. The whole situation feels unreal. Like watching a bad movie while drunk.

Jason is standing at the foot of the bed, naked as the day he was born and thrusting his hips forward. In front of him is no other than Sandra moaning as he thrust fast and hard into her.

“Aah Jason! Harder, fuck me harder! You know I like it hard. Yes! Like that!”

“Fuck Sandra! Squeeze that pussy as you come on my cock!” Jason grunts as he slams hard into her.

“Jason?” My voice breaks with only that single word. I want to shout, I want to scream, but the words come out as barely a whisper. The tears in my eyes overflow and run down my cheeks. At that moment Sandra opens her eyes and sees me.

“Oh fuck!” She exclaims and tears herself away from Jason.

“What are you doing? I’m not done yet! Get back here!” Jason growls at Sandra. She shakes her head, too stunned to speak, and points behind him. Jason turns around and my tearfilled eyes meet his. Panic flutters across his face but before he has a chance to say anything I’m out the door running back to my room. I lock the door and throw my suitcase on top of the bed and shove my things into it. I give out a shriek when a harsh banging is heard on my door.

“Ellie baby! Open up! Let me explain!” Jason calls from the other side of the door. He falls silent to give me a chance to answer but I return to my packing. When he can't wait any longer he bangs the door again. “Ellie! Please! Open up!” He begs me. It sounds like he’s crying.

“I have nothing to say to you! And nothing you say can make this undone!” I cry through the door as I keep packing. The amount of things to pack never seems to diminish. Did I really bring this much with me?

“Please Ellie. I love you. That meant nothing. She means nothing.” He begs through the door. I stomp over to the door and jerk it open. Jason looks at me with pleading eyes. His face is blotchy and streaked with tears.  “Please. I love you. Only you.”

“How could you do this? How many times have you fucked her before this? Huh? I’m sure this wasn’t the first time! You looked way too coordinated for it to be the first time!” I shout at him through my tears. Just as he opens his mouth to answer another voice speaks from behind him.

“You are right. This is not the first time. We have had an affair for a year now. Seems you can’t please your man enough.” Sandra wraps her arms around Jason’s neck as she speaks. Jason shoves her back and she stumbles a few steps before she finds her balance.

“Shut up. I only fuck you, nothing else.” He hiss at Sandra and her face falls. “It’s you, I love Ellie baby. But I have a problem. I need professional help. Please forgive me.” He turns back towards me and keeps begging me. When he reaches out to touch me I take a step back.

“Fuck you!” I shriek and throw the door in his face and lock it. For an hour Jason stands outside my door giving me ocasional apologies and begging me to forgive him. When he finally leaves I take my suitcase and silently leave the room. I’m glad that I have the key to our car so I won't have to call a cab. I cry the whole way home. 

I start packing immediately when I get home. Everything that I can pack in bags or any box I can find and carry them out to my car. By 7 am I called Amanda.

“Morning. Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?” Amanda yawns. It's obvious that she was still sleeping. At first I couldn't get out any sound except a sob as my tears came back. “Hey. What's wrong Ellie?” Her sleepiness quickly changes to concern.

“He cheated.” I say between my sobs. “He cheated… With Sandra. He fucked her in his room.” 

“What?! Are you serious?! Where are you?” She asked with concern in her voice.

“At home. I have packed everything. I need  someplace to crash until I can find something new.”

“You can move in with me. I have a spare room. You can stay for as long as you need.” I hear her shuffling around. “I’m packing up here and will go home as soon as possible. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No. I’ll drive to your place and wait for you. And Amanda. Thank you!” I end the call and pick up the last box. With one last look around the open plan kitchen and living space I turn and leave the apartment that has been my home for almost two years.

***

The wind is sharp and cold as it whips my hair around my face. I’m standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus to take me home. Hopefully the snow that is threatening to come will wait until I’m home. Life has really taken a downturn since this summer. That asshole is apparently still dating Sandra and I think Jasmine said that Sandra thinks he’ll propose to her soon. I hope they marry and live unhappily for the rest of their life.

Since that horrible day I have buried myself in work, doing overtime every other day and accepting any extra work I can get. My boss likes my devotion, but he has asked me to slow down before I burn out completely. 

I never socialise anymore. Amanda has tried to drag me out to clubs and bars. I have come along a few times but I haven’t enjoyed it. I barely speak with Jasmine anymore. She is still friends with Sandra and somehow I feel like she’s betraying me as much as she did.  

The bus arrives and of course it’s crowded with commuters going home after a long day at the office. The ride takes forty minutes and after a short walk I’m finally at the apartment that I’m sharing with Amanda. Since what happened with Jason I still haven't gotten around to look for my own apartment. Amanda says she doesn’t mind because I pay half the rent and cook dinner every night.

Tonight is not different. Turning on some music, I make a lasagna big enough to save for lunch tomorrow. Amanda will not get back until late and by then I will already be asleep. I have my dinner to the company of Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Perfect fantasy boyfriends. No heartbreak or false people when it comes to fantasy boyfriends.

I turn in early, there really isn’t any reason to stay awake. As I lay down in my bed that night I think to myself. Is this really what life is supposed to be like? There has to be something more.

***