Chapter one

" Mark," I almost scream unable to believe the sight in front of me.

He's standing in a corner with one of his hands inside a girls skirts and the other hand buried in her hair.

" Raine" he calls back horrified, trying to mask the fear in his face.

" Are you cheating on me with that girl?"

I ask tears blurring my peripheral vision.

" What happened to loving me till the day I stop breathing, "

I can't take the sight anymore one wrong move and I would start sobbing loudly the way I always do in my pillow.

" Does it look like am saying the truth with her?"

" What did you just say?"

" Never mind you are the girl I love, this is some alcohol mix up ," he replies with a fake look of desperation on his face.

I cover my mouth to prevent the sobs that are building up inside me from coming out. Even after he used me to hide his secret of being bisexual, he still found another girl. 

" Wait don't go," he says trying to pull me towards him. 

" Touch me again fag, you don't want to know what I'll do to you. " 

That's the story of my life in a flash. Its Friday evening and am lying on my bed looking at the ceiling. Trying to think about all the parties I didn't attend because I was trying to impress a boy in my campus.

All the wigs and fake eyelashes I didn't wear because I wanted him to think am natural.

" Come on, get up," I  hear Bella shaking me.

" I just want to sleep, I don't want to go out or do anything." I reply in a small voice.

" You've cried a river and that won't bring him back or erase your sad story. "

" My life is just a sorry pathetic lifeboat no matter how hard I try."

" Come on dress up, you need a new boyfriend to help you forget. You've been crying for two weeks."

" I don't want anybody else, I just want him. Is that so hard to understand. " I scream in tears.

" Okay, okay, that's cool."

" Then you need alcohol it will take the pain away for a while, take you to heaven and back, don't you want that?"

" I'll just drink in bed."

"Listen you either start dressing up or I'm dragging you out in your pyjamas."

" You only need one night full of fun and sin, that's all." She adds.

Defeated I get up and start washing my face.

"Caren is coming along with us. It will be fun as long as you do the things we do."

As long as you do the things we do, I repeat in my head, if only she knew.

* * * 

Fridays are the best days in college. You go partying because of the crowd and the fun.

Then their are those who have a romantic weekend with their boyfriends, I won't say better half. You'll all know how people in campus play each other like strings in a guitar.

The next category are the party maniacs, alcoholics, husbands tired of their boring wives, the working class looking for young girls to help them spend their money ,then the broken people like me who want to stop living.

" I hope I find drinks today, I mean a catch to buy me one," my friend Bella says.

" Girl, what's that bust for if it can't get you a drink, you better chop it off," I reply.

" Don't say that, you know, you have the perfect body all curvy and booty, the one that boys like and I hardly have anything,"

" Come on, don't use that line, the face is 

the reception, its what people see first, and that's where you win."

Despite the fact that am a girl, I admired Bella and how beautiful and perfect she was. She had smooth flawless skin that was always glowing through out the year. A beautiful round face that stood out in crowds, she was every mans dream, But the problem is that she always wanted us to keep telling her she was beautiful, like now.

If anything, she should be the one telling me to believe in myself.

" Okay, let's all go. ' She says.

We walk in to the crowded place and start blending into the crowd. Since my last break up, I've resorted to partying. This is my third time and I don't need a boy anymore. To hell with love.

 

I could go back to stripping for a living, I made decent money and I was happy. Not happy, my heart was intact.

I Start dancing and immediately feel someone behind me I turn around to confirm, and guess he's okay.

He's some tall nerd with long hair. But that's not a problem, I'm just looking for fun.

 We dance for a while before he decides to buy me drinks. I oder three bottles and when they arrive, I disappear and come back with my friends. We drink together and leave the man at the counter.

The night continues and this time I trip and land on someone's lap. I stand up immediately.

" Sorry sir, my bad, I didn't watch my step, " I apologize.

" Its okay, what if I was wishing that would happen." He replies. 

I smile innocently and stand up before he holds my hand.

" I've been watching you for a while, do you mind if we could talk or maybe I buy you a drink."

" No thanks, " I reply. " I'm looking for someone."

" Do you mean your friends, one of them is making out in that corner and the other is giving a lap dance. " he says shaking his head.

" Okay, let's just chat."

"What will you drink," he asks.

I oder some strong whiskey, but the waitress comes back with champagne.

I'm a little disappointed at first before looking at the price tag.

" Isn't that too much for a drink, that's my whole months rent sitting on this table " I almost scream excited and surprised.

" I immediately start sipping from my glass." Its not everyday that you get to drink such expensive drinks.

I look up to see the waitress arranging food and more drinks on the table.

Did he Oder all this for me? He must be from heaven.

I start eating immediately, hardly paying attention to whatever he is trying to say. Food comes first, what is more important, I didn't even catch his name. 

I look up to find him staring at me.

" What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," he replies as the corners of his mouth go up in a smirk. 

That's when I realize, he hasn't been eating, and I was too greedy to notice. It's not my fault, by the time I get to eat all this delicacies again, it will be a while.

I notice how much I have consumed and start feeling ashamed. 

I already spoiled my first impression, which girl eats like a mechanic. Its not like I was trying to get on his good side. I say to myself.

I mix all the drinks around me in gulps and for the first time decide to listen.

" What did you say your name is?" I ask.

"Ryan."

" Raine," I reply.

" What do you do?"

" I'm a business man, I do hotel business and real estate." 

" Oh" I say.