Chapter 4

The wind whipped at my hair, and I brushed the long black strands away from my face as I stared at the old inn across the road. I shivered as the morning sea air brushed against my skin, wishing I had had the foresight to wear a coat I wrapped my arms around my waist as I contemplated the old building before me.

It looked perfectly normal if a little run down, with a faded brown sign swinging in the breeze and chipped paint on the wooden window frames, a few green weeds had pushed through the pavement around the edge of the building and the bricks looked like they could use a hose down but considering the contents of my parents letter the normality of the building only served to make me more nervous.

It hadn't taken me long to find the inn my parents directed me to, however working up the courage to go inside was another matter entirely. It wasn't so much that I was afraid or even worried of what I would find, I was more concerned that I wouldn't find anything, and that the past month had been spent worrying over nothing and on top of that worry I didn't have any idea of how to ask the questions I wanted to ask without appearing to be insane myself.

My cell phone trilled in my pocket as I eyed the building and I jumped at the sound, it was still fairly early and the only other noises in the area were the occasional rumble of an engine in the distance and the whistling of the wind as it blew between the old buildings. Shaking my head at my jumpiness I pulled out the small device and answered after checking the display.

“Hey Jess.” I greeted my flat mate knowing that she must have found the note I had left her but my eyes re-focused on the building I had been staring at for the last half an hour.

“What the hell Lexi?” Her voice was harsh and groggy as though she had just woken up and I imagined her sitting at the breakfast bar, messy blonde hair in a bun as she nursed a steaming cup of black coffee. It was a sight I had seen so often that I could conjure it without any effort.

“Good morning to you too.” I muttered sarcastically as I tried to focus on our conversation and ignore the pang of guilt that tickled my stomach.

Eventually I had worked up enough courage to tell Jess what had been going on with me for the last month, well part of it at least. The conversation had been excruciating, I wasn’t the best liar in the world as it was, and I had never had cause to lie to my best friend before that day.

I had told her about the letter, that my parents had left me an inheritance, that I didn’t have any family left but that an old family friend would watch over my inheritance for me. It was a lie steeped in the truth. We discussed why I was so anxious, that I was nervous about seeing what they may have left because they didn’t explain anything fully. The conversation had gone in a direction I hadn’t planned on however and Jess insisted on coming with me.

Ordinarily my best friends support would have been great, especially considering how tempted I was to turn around and drive home right now but then I would have to tell her the truth. “Never tell.” The words hadn’t left my mind since I first read them, the image of my Mum bleeding had been extended slightly as my dreams changed to included flashes of this and flashes of the car crash and now I saw her lying on a tiled floor, bleeding and whispering with her last breath, I saw my Mum die.

I shook off the thoughts and returned to the conversation with Jess as she spoke through the handset I held to my freezing ear.

“Never mind that, where the hell are you?” She demanded, worry and frustration seeping into her tone now and I winced, I hated knowing that I was causing her hurt but still I couldn't force myself to tell her the details.

“On the east coast, not far from Chelmsford.”

“And why exactly did you decide to take an impromptu trip to the beach? You do know its Jake's birthday today right?” She questioned in a tone that made it clear she knew I had forgotten, and I winced as it sank in. I had forgot. “What's going on with you Lex? This isn't like you. Even with everything that’s being going on, you’ve been distant, but this is extreme.” She asked, her voice softening, and I sighed as another shiver ran through my body.

“I know, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t sleep so I was reading the letter from my parents. I just decided that I needed to know.” I answered.

“I thought you wanted me to come with you?” She asked and I shook my head as I answered.

“I did, but I think this is actually something I need to do on my own. I really am sorry about Jakes birthday, I completely forgot.”    

“I figured, I’ll sort it don’t worry about that. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just working up the courage to go inside.” I whispered.

“Oh Lex, I wish you had waited for me to come with you. You’ll be fine. Honestly, what’s the worst that could happen. I know that you are hoping for answers about your parents, and I really hope you get them but try not to be too hopeful just in case, but go inside, get your answers then come back home okay.” She reassured and I smiled, she would make a good Mum someday, her instincts were always on the mothering side.

“Part of me just wants to get it over with, the other part is wondering what if he doesn’t live here anymore?”

“Well, there is only one way to find out, and if he’s not there any longer then we will find him okay. Now go on in. Call me when you’re done okay” She asked.

“Yes.” I smiled lightly knowing that no matter how much her question sounded like a request there would be hell to pay if I didn’t actually call her. I just had to decide how much of everything I wanted to talk about when that time came, and I couldn't do that until I got some answers of my own. I hung up the phone after a round of goodbyes and pushed the cell back into my pocket as I surveyed the bar again.

I couldn't get myself passed the thought that all of this must be some sort of elaborate joke, that the things my parents wrote couldn't possibly be true but then I was stuck with the thought of why would they leave me that letter? Why would they lie to me, or create some elaborate story like this? Eventually I stole my nerves and decided I needed the answers, even if I didn't like the answers I got. So, with one last deep breath and a slight shake of my head I figured it was now or never and took the first step.

The Goats beard inn was more like an old world bar and B&B, the interior was decorated with dark wood panelling and a matching bar, yellowing paint, dim wall lights, a terracotta tiled floor and creaky looking furniture. It took several minutes for my eyes to adjust to the dark room after being outside in the bright day light but my first thought as I took in the room was that ordinarily, it would be the last place on earth I would consider staying in. I wasn't a snob by any stretch of the imagination, but I had standards and this place was way below them, I half expected to find a nest of rats in the corner.

“Good morning.” The bar tender greeted without a smile, his voice gruff and unwelcoming. He appeared to be around my age with greasy brown hair and pale skin dressed in unflattering clothes. He wasn't what I would call attractive but that was beside the point, I had come for one reason and one reason only. “What can I get for you?” He asked in a manner that suggested he would rather I go away, and not for the first time I questioned my own sanity in going through with this, but I had come this far, I couldn't turn back now.

With a shaky breath I uttered the words “Actually I'm looking for Peter Williamson. I was told I could find him here.” I stated, swallowing my nerves and hoping that this wasn't going to be a wild goose chase. For all I knew there could be no Peter Williamson at all, or he could no longer live here, the possibilities were endless, and my mind ran through a dozen before the young man spoke again.

He furrowed his brows eyeing me from head to toe before muttering “Um.. I could check I suppose. What's your name Miss.” His voice was unsettled now instead of unwelcoming, and I blinked at the sudden change.

“Lexi Daniels.” I answered, too focused on trying to determine why he seemed so nervous all of a sudden to contemplate my answer, my adoptive surname was the one I had lived with for so long that I didn't hesitate before giving it.

“Have a seat.” He suggested with a haphazard wave of his hand before retreating through a door behind the bar and leaving me alone in the dim room.

My eyes scanned the interior and I tried not to frown in distaste as I perched tentatively on one of the empty chairs, half expecting it to collapse under my small frame but it held and I sat back and tapped my foot against the tiles in a gesture that was pure impatience. After weeks of worry, confusion and a little anger I just wanted it to be over with. I wanted an answer one way or the other and now that I was here, waiting was driving me insane.

He returned in less than five minutes with a regretful expression on his face. “I'm sorry but Mr Williamson won’t see you. He said he doesn't know anyone by the name of Daniels.”

Disappointment hit me hard, I had been so sure that I just needed an answer, any answer that I hadn't considered this.

I sat thinking for a moment before another idea popped into my head. “Tell him my birth name is Alexi Drovnic.” If there was any chance this strange man would know me then I guess it would be by my birth name, although I resigned myself to leaving empty handed as I watched the man walk back through the doorway once again, I was somewhat surprised that the guy even existed.

Less than thirty seconds later the bar tender was back with instructions for me to follow him. Apparently, Peter knew the name Drovnic.

I stepped behind the bar into a dusty hall and followed the guy up a narrow staircase covered in peeling wallpaper and a worn carpet and onto a long landing that seemed to stretch father than the building had, my mind was blank as my feet carried me on auto pilot. As much as I had wanted to find an answer I had never really believed I would get this far, I had hoped for it but mostly I had prepared for failure, now that I was here I had no idea what to do. 

The young guy gestured towards a partially open door, the first on the left before muttering “Peter is in there.” Then he turned and headed back the way we had come, leaving me alone in the dimly lit hall.

Nerves kicking in big time I swallowed passed the lump in my throat as I glanced into a small sitting room decorated very similarly to the bar although it appeared clean, apparently this guy didn't know where to buy a decent light bulb from. I looked around to see an empty fireplace, an old sofa and matching chair, a small coffee table, a desk sat against the back wall covered in papers and a tall book shelf crammed full sat beside it, the only window was covered with dark drapes blocking out any natural light. The room was quite small, and the combination of bulky furniture and clutter made it seem overly cramped.

“Hello?” I greeted, my voice cracking as I stepped into the room. What had I gotten myself into?