Chapter 5 (Trainee)

I lifted my head as I watched her steps away from us.

Spoiled brat...

I just shook my head and followed Dad. He opened a door near the kitchen. I looked at it and saw a bed and a lampshade beside the bed.

"This is your room from now on. I already renovated it for you. I know, it's not that big, but at least you have a fine room." Dad said to me as he held out his hands.

I looked at him and I didn't expect this... That he would treat me like this.

Since I was a kid, I am very a stoic person. Maybe, because my mother taught me that way. They raised me in their own ways. They gave me different kinds of culture, and I learn it and adopt it slowly.

Even though, I live in different ways, my heart is still connected to the two of them.

"Gomawoyo, Appa." I said with full of sincerity in my heart. I bowed down my head to show respect to him.

Translated: "Thank you, Daddy."

I heard him sighed and I look at him one more time.

"Just do your best, Alex. I know you can. I know that it's not easy for you to experience this kind of living. You're with me every summer, and every school year, you're with your mother." Dad said.

I just shook my head to Dad and smiled...

"Gwaenchanh-ayo, Appa. Igsughae jilge cheoncheonhi."

Translated: "It's okay, Dad. I'll get used to it, slowly."

He nodded at me before he went out to my room. I took out my clothes first and put them in the closet.

The things that I'll going to use for the final audition is already ready. The song that I have already prepared, the dress and so on. I sat on the edge of my bed first and I couldn't help but to think.

What if I fail? What if I fail them?

I just shook my head and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

I shouldn't think that way. All I have to think about is what will be the outcome of my performance. If the Star Seven Entertainment wouldn't accept me, at least I tried.

I don't want to blame myself in the end just because I didn't do it. That's why, I need to trust myself.

The greatest enemy... is yourself. It's between the war of your mind and your heart. To fight for those two, you have to trust yourself and your confidence. Build it up. Don't let the mind control your heart, and don't let your heart, control the veins that gave you hope and strength.

You have to balance the two.

After I took a shower, I went out to my bathroom and get dressed.

I'll go out for a walk first. I really missed Seoul, so much. I miss the air, the ambiance of the place, the people, the vibe. Everything.

I was about to leave when suddenly someone spoke behind me. My eyes rolled over secretly and I faced Suzy. She raised her right eyebrow and gave me a strict look.

"Eodiganeungeoya?" she asks me. 

Translated: "Where are you going?" 

I put both of my hands to my pockets and faced her. I watched how she would react. 

Did her mother raise her so well? Because I can't feel it. 

"Wae mul-eo boni?" I ask her back. 

Translated: "Why are you asking?" 

She laughed in a sarcastic way. 

"Amullon ijebuteoneun eonni ya!" my eyes widened when she shouted at me. 

I raised my right hand and shows her to shut up. 

"Do you know how old I am? Huh? I'm already twenty-one and how about you? Nineteen? Am I right? You'll going to be my step-sister and I'm going to be your step-brother. I'm still older than you. Don't use that tone on me. I won't allow you to use that. Catch my drift?"

She became silent of what I have said and I saw that both of her cheeks were turning red.

I looked at her with my dagger eyes before I left the house.

It took me an hour to roamed and enjoy the moment. Walking and taking pictures outside. I also visited the old building of our school. I suddenly remembered everything.

I promised to bring Lucky, here, after our graduation. But I can't do that right now. I'll bring her here next time.

When I got home, I stopped walking when I saw Dad's new wife.

They looked at each other, neither do I.

I bow down my head to show respect to them.

Dae stood up and walk towards my direction, together with his wife.

"Yun-a, yeobo. Je-adeul allegseu-ibnida." Dad introduced me to his wife.

Translated: "Yoona, honey. This is my son, Allex."

I smiled to her, before I talk back.

"Mannaseo bangawoyo, Allegseu Jeoneun iyun-aigo je ttal sujibidnida."

Translated: Nice to meet you, Alex. I'm Yonna Lee, and this is my daughter, Suzy. 

I turned my attention to Suzy and she just averted her eyes from me, before she continued eating. 

"Adeul, meonjeo meog-eo." Dad said but I refuse and shook my head as an answer. 

Translated: "Son eart first." 

"I'm done eating, Dad. Thank you." I said to him and bow down my head. 

I went to my room, immediately. I haven't eaten yet, but I can handle it. I didn't eat together with them, not because I'm mad, but because I felt sorry for my mother. She's living alone in the Philippines. My heart would hurt if I will see her, hurting too. 

A few days later and Friday came. My heart was beating so fast, it was the only thing that I can hear as we headed our head to Star 7 Entertainment building. I am sweating in nervousness! 

Dad turned to me and smiled... 

"Neon hal su-iss-eo, Allegseu. Nan neoleul mid-eo," Dad said to me and I just nodded at him. 

Translated: "You can do it, Alex. I have faith in you." 

When we got there, I immediately arranged my clothes and fixed my hair. Dad gave me another, good luck. 

I went inside and was immediately approached by one of the Star 7 staff. She's also holding a folder. 

"Neo ileum-i mwoni?" she asks me. 

Translated: "What's your name?" 

There were various and different contestants there. There are also trainees who rehearsed their songs, but I can't hear it because the studio room was sound proof.  

We stopped when we came to a door. This is supposedly the audition room. 

"This is your number. I'll call you after this one contestant, okay?" she said to me and I just nodded at her. 

When my name was called, I immediately went inside. Five judges were there. The nervousness that I had felt earlier was slowly getting higher now. 

"Alex Kim, you can start now." I bow down my head to show respect to them. 

When the music started playing. I started moving my body. I studied every step of the dance for several months. I feel the beat of every wave of the song. I swayed my hips slowly and close my eyes. 

My jaw dropped when I saw them looking at each others eyes and looking back to their portfolios. It's also a sign that they like my performance. 

"Allegseu bagssi, aidol-i doel jamjaelyeog-issneun geos gatneyo. Gyesog gaseyo." The other judge said that to me. 

Translated: "Alex Kim, I can see that you have a potential to be an idol. Keep going." 

I lifted my head to the other judges to see their reactions but I saw them reached the same way. 

"Let's get him," Mr. Tiu, said. 

That was written on his table name. Yohan Tiu (Vice President). 

 "Alex Kim, we will give you an opportunity to be a new trainee. Do your best and believe this company, believe in yourself." 

My heart was in a race state when I heard that from them. Is this even true? 

After that, that they introduced me to the other trainees. Eah member of the Metamorphosis Band was introduced to me. 

"Hi! I'm Kyle," he introduced his self to me. Showing his dimple. 

He bows down his head to show some respect to me. 

"I'm Cody," he said, showing his cute gummy smile. 

"Bro, I'm Nathan!" Nathan greeted at me with a sprite on his other hand. 

The other teenager boy went to me. I'm tall than him, but he looks too cute. 

"Brian," he said with a smile on his face. 

I brushed his messy hair and he just laughed at what I did. 

The other two boys, walk towards me and they introduced themselves to me. 

"I'm Timothy," he said showing his boxy smile. The other one also went to me and gave me a banana milk. 

"Welcome to the group, Alex hyung. I'm Earl," I just smiled at them. 

I'm going to be a big brother to them... 

"Alex hyung!" I turned to Earl as he handed me a bottle of water. 

I'm sweating bullets after our dance practice for our concert in Japan. That was included on our Fire Tour. 

I picked it up and rested for a couple of minutes as I watched them talk and laughing to each others. 

They are already matured enough. 

Seeing them growing and slowly discovering themselves, they make me proud of them. I'm obviously, really, the Hyung in this group. Well, it isn't obvious because I acted too, the way they act. That's my personality, we all know about how to use our mature and immature sides. 

Kyle was a great leader... even now. I don't know what to do if he chooses to be a solo singer, but I am thankful because he chooses us. He chooses the M7. 

It was years ago when we were given free tickets for our free concert after our first debut. 

I smiled... 

Everything seems to be so fast...