LOGINAnastasia’s POV:They came to dinner together.Not as something they had announced or explained. Marcus just texted and asked if they could come for dinner and I said yes and they arrived together with Marcus carrying wine and Elena carrying flowers she had clearly chosen carefully and they stood in the doorway and I looked at them and read the room the way I always did.Something had shifted.Not resolved. Not finished. But shifted in the way that things shifted when two people had been having a conversation for long enough that they had stopped performing it and started meaning it.Noah let them in because he had heard the knock and considered answering doors one of his responsibilities and he looked at Elena and said hi and she said hello and he asked if she brought anything and Marcus said wine and Noah said that’s for grown ups and Marcus said correct and Noah accepted this and went back to what he was doing.Zoe came down the stairs.She looked at Elena.Elena looked at Zoe.The
Anastasia’s POV:Victoria called me laughing.Not the Victoria laugh I had been used to in the early years, the one that was controlled and arrived at appropriate moments and contained itself properly. This was an actual laugh, surprised out of her, the kind that happened when something caught you before you could manage it.“What did she say to you?” I said.“She called me on the house phone,” Victoria said. “She asked Diane for the number and Diane gave it to her because apparently Diane has also given up trying to anticipate Zoe.”“What did she say?” I said.“She told me,” Victoria said, and I could hear her still catching her breath, “that she had been thinking about it and she had decided that I should come to the groundbreaking when the community center opens because I’m part of the family that built it.”I sat down.“She said that,” I said.“She said and I’m quoting precisely because I wrote it down immediately, “you are the grandmother and the grandmother should be there when
Anastasia’s POV:She told me in my kitchen while I was making coffee.Not with ceremony. Not sitting me down or building toward it. She just walked in, put her bag on the counter, looked at me and said it.“I’m pregnant.”I put the coffee down.She looked at me with the expression she wore when she had been holding something large and had finally put it on a surface where someone else could help carry it.“How long have you known?” I said.“Four days,” she said. “I took three tests because I did not trust the first two.”“Did they all say the same thing?” I said.“Obviously,” she said. “That’s why I’m telling you.”I looked at her.She looked back.“Are you happy?” I said.She pressed her lips together in the way she did when something was real enough that she was not going to be casual about it.“Terrified,” she said. “And yes. Both.”I came around the counter and hugged her and she held on properly and I felt her exhale into my shoulder the way she did when she had been holding hers
Anastasia’s POV:Gerard met the children on a Sunday that smelled like cut grass and Lucas had been quietly dreading for three weeks.Not dreading in the way of something he did not want. Dreading in the way of something he wanted so much that the possibility of it going wrong had become its own specific weight. I had watched him manage it the way he managed things that cost him something, with the particular stillness of a man holding himself together in a public space and hoping nobody looked too closely.I had looked closely.I always did.We met at a park on the north end of the city because parks were neutral and children could run if they needed to and the open air meant nobody felt trapped and I had suggested it and Lucas had said yes immediately in the tone that meant he was relieved someone had made the decision.Gerard was already there when we arrived.He was sitting on a bench near the entrance with his hands on his knees and he stood when he saw us and for a moment before
Anastasia’s POV:Noah cried on the way there.Not loudly. He was not a loud crier. He cried the way he did most things, with complete commitment and no performance, sitting in the back seat of the car with his new backpack on his lap and his face doing the thing it did when something was happening that he had decided he did not want to happen.Zoe looked at him.“It’s fine,” she said.“You don’t know that,” he said.“I went,” she said. “I’m fine.”“You’re different,” he said.“How?” she said.He thought about it.“You’re not scared of things,” he said.Zoe considered this.“I’m scared of things,” she said. “I just don’t show it.”He looked at her.“What are you scared of?” he said.“Lots of things,” she said. “But I go anyway.”I drove and said nothing because they were handling it better than I could have and some things needed to happen between siblings without parents in the middle of them.Lucas was in the passenger seat and I could feel him not saying anything either.Noah was qu
Anastasia’s POV:Adrian Cole came to dinner on a Friday in May with Claire who was not his girlfriend and also was, in the way that some people occupied that space without either of them having named it yet.I had met Claire twice before. She was quiet in the way of people who were paying attention rather than people who had nothing to say and she had the particular quality of someone who had arrived in a group of people with complicated history and had decided to simply be present in it rather than trying to navigate it.I liked her immediately.Lucas liked her because she asked him a specific question about the Salvatore commercial renovation that told him she had actually looked it up before coming to dinner and Lucas responded to homework the way most people responded to compliments.Noah liked her because she listened to his explanation of why sparkling water was better than still water with the focused attention of someone who found this genuinely interesting.Zoe assessed her f
Anastasia’s POV:Simone called at exactly eight forty three the next morning while I was standing in my kitchen in my pajamas staring at the coffee machine like it had personally offended me.“Tell me everything,” she said before I finished saying hello. “And I mean everything. Dean told me Lucas c
Anastasia’s POV:I wore the burgundy dress.Simone had picked it out three weeks ago during one of our Saturday shopping trips that were less about buying things and more about reclaiming the version of me that used to have opinions about what she put on her body. It was fitted without being aggres
Anastasia’s POV:“You have paint on your face.”I looked up from the mood board spread across my desk and found Celeste Dupont standing in my office doorway in a cream blazer and reading glasses pushed up on her head, looking at me the way she looked at everything, like she had already figured it o
Anastasia’s POV:“If you tell her about this meeting I will make sure you never work in this city again. Do you understand me?”I stood completely still in the entrance of my own home with my keys still in my hand and my heart doing something complicated inside my chest.That was my husband’s voice







