Thirty Days Before My Alpha Lost Me Forever

I didn’t want Ivander’s cold expression to be the last memory of him I carried into death.

So I agreed to give Eric, the mate candidate Ivander had chosen for me, a chance.

Once I did, Ivander finally stopped avoiding me. For the first time in months, he spoke to me willingly.

“How are things between you and Eric? Have you decided when to hold the bonding ceremony?”

“They’re going well. We’re still discussing the date.”

The simple conversation nearly brought me to tears. It had been so long since Ivander had spoken to me this gently that I wanted to hold on to the moment for as long as I could.

“We want pink roses everywhere,” I told him. “Even my wedding dress will be pink, with a long train.”

The smile disappeared from his face, but I didn’t notice. I kept describing the bonding ceremony I had dreamed of until he finally interrupted me.

“Before that day comes, remember this: I will always be your adoptive father, and you will always be family. You can come home whenever you want.”

His gaze moved around the room, and only then did he notice how many of my belongings were gone.

“You’ve already decided to live with Eric?”

“If you’re moving out, then go. I’ll have the staff replace whatever is missing.”

The words lodged painfully in my chest. I pressed my lips together and looked away.

“There’s no need. I don’t think I’ll be coming back.”

A month from now, returning would no longer be possible.

Eric was never going to receive any of my belongings. I had already sent everything to the house where I had once lived with my parents.

After their deaths, only one loyal servant had remained there. When I returned, she would stay beside me through whatever time I had left.

Ivander’s expression darkened. He had never liked hearing me talk that way, even as a joke.

I quickly changed the subject. “What’s Daisy’s favorite color?”

“Light blue. Why?”

His voice turned cold again, and my heart tightened.

He must have thought I was planning to hurt his future Luna.

Instead of answering, I looked at the pink walls around us.

When Ivander adopted me at thirteen, the estate had felt strange and frightening. I had missed my parents so badly that nothing could comfort me.

Ivander had carried the paint into this room himself and covered the walls in my favorite color, doing everything he could to make this place feel like home.

“I only wanted to prepare a surprise for you and Daisy.”

He rejected the idea without even asking what the surprise was.

“There’s no need. If Daisy wants something, she’ll tell me herself.” His eyes narrowed. “And did you really need to ask me that question three times?”

Three times?

Had I already asked him twice?

No wonder he was suspicious.

The healer had warned me that Wolf Spirit Decay would slowly erase my memories until nothing remained. It was already happening. I could barely remember how Ivander had once granted every wish I made, no matter how unreasonable, just to pull me out of my grief.

I had also forgotten that Daisy, not me, was now the most important person in his life.

As one of the highest-ranking Alphas in the wolf clans, Ivander could give her anything. If Daisy asked him for the stars, he would find a way to place them in her hands.

After everything he had done for me, I only wanted to follow his example and make him happy once.

Neither of us spoke again.

Autumn had arrived, and the nights were growing colder. Since becoming ill, I had grown unusually sensitive to the temperature. After standing there for only a few minutes, I began to tremble.

“It’s late. We should get some rest.”

Before Ivander could respond, I hurried back to my room.

By the following morning, my condition had worsened. I couldn’t remember anything—not even my conversation with Ivander the night before.

Only my journal told me what I was supposed to do.

“Buy paint.Prepare gifts.Return home in one week.”

I followed the instructions and asked the servants to carry several buckets of light-blue paint into the room.

That evening, Eric invited me to dinner.

Since I had already chosen to leave, I wanted to be honest with him.

“Eric, I’m sorry, but I can’t be with you.” I forced myself to meet his eyes. “I’m terminally ill. I could die at any time.”

He stared at me in shock.

“I’m going home,” I continued. “I want to spend whatever time I have left in the house where my parents loved me. No one knows about the diagnosis, and I want to keep it that way.”

“Then Ivander doesn’t know either?”

I shook my head. “He doesn’t. Please help me keep it that way.”

I lifted the heavy bag beside me and placed it on the table.

The moment Eric saw what was inside, he froze.