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This Time, I'm the One Leaving First
This Time, I'm the One Leaving First
Auteur: Perfect Timing

Chapter 1

Auteur: Perfect Timing
I stepped out of the bathroom, shivering from head to toe.

I had forced myself to take a cold shower. If I came down with a fever tomorrow, I'd have an excuse to skip the family portrait.

I looked at my decade-younger reflection in the mirror, then at the project proposal I had once abandoned sitting on my desk. My eyes hardened with resolve.

In my previous life, my adoptive sister, Simone Graham, had booked a famous photographer she found online to take a family portrait.

It was the first time I had ever taken a family photo with the Grahams since they had welcomed me back into the family.

I'd looked forward to it for weeks. I'd even worn the most expensive dress I'd brought from the orphanage—one that I'd always been reluctant to touch.

But when we got the photos back, I had been cleanly photoshopped out of the corner.

It was all because Simone had casually said, "Felicia's vibe doesn't really match the rest of the family. The photo looks kind of weird with her in it."

Back then, I'd tried to defend myself, only to be accused of lacking taste and embarrassing the Graham family.

It took dying once for me to finally get the point.

Just like that family portrait without me in it, there had never been a place for me in this family.

If that was the case, why should I humiliate myself by trying to chase after them?

This time, I simply wouldn't go.

Just as I had planned, when I woke up the next morning, I was burning with a fever. I didn't even have the strength to get out of bed.

My head was foggy when I heard someone push my bedroom door open.

My mom, Riley Colton, stood there with a frown. "I called you several times. Why didn't you come downstairs for breakfast? We're supposed to take the family portrait today. Don't hold everyone up."

I coughed weakly.

"Mom, I'm not feeling well."

That was when she finally noticed my flushed face. She touched my forehead and recoiled at the heat. "You were fine yesterday. How did you suddenly get a fever? Simone worked so hard to get that photographer!"

"It's not her fault, Mom. I'm sure she didn't mean for this to happen," Simone said with a regretful expression. "Maybe we should reschedule the shoot. We can't just take the photo without her…"

I calmly cut her off. "It's fine. Don't worry about me. You guys can go ahead without me."

Riley froze. It looked as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard.

"You were the most excited for the family portrait."

I studied her face as I held back a dry laugh.

So she did know that I had been looking forward to it. Then why did she say I was being petty when I got upset after being photoshopped out of the portrait in my previous life?

It was because she didn't love me. My feelings never mattered.

"It's fine. Don't worry about me. You guys can go ahead without me," I repeated myself.

Riley suddenly exploded, "Fine. You said it yourself. Don't throw a tantrum when we're done!"

She dragged Simone out of the room, never once asking how I felt.

I lay staring at the white ceiling. Before I died, I had been just as lonely, lying in a hospital bed all by myself.

Even after I found my biological parents, got married, and had children, I was still Felicia Graham—someone nobody loved.

"Mom, Dad, I'll stop making a fuss this time," I thought. "I'll let the three of you be a happy family."
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  • This Time, I'm the One Leaving First   Chapter 9

    After that day, my parents never showed up unannounced again. They also stopped asking when I'd be free to come home.Our relationship faded to the point where if they weren't careful about how they reached out to me, I wouldn't even think of them.Still, Riley would occasionally send me messages. When I had time, I'd read them.She told me that after going back home, they had thought about everything over and over again.They had been too greedy. They couldn't let go of the adopted daughter they had loved for over 20 years, but they also couldn't bear to lose me, the biological daughter they owed so much to. In the end, they hurt me.She said Michael had long regretted the harsh things he said back then. He would repeatedly mention how he shouldn't have been so hard on me.She also said that when they realized I was far more accomplished than they had ever imagined, they felt proud of me.As for Simone, her life wasn't as perfect as it used to be.After realizing how much they

  • This Time, I'm the One Leaving First   Chapter 8

    It had been a year and a half since I moved to South City.When I got off work and saw them standing at the entrance, I turned around and walked away.Riley quickly called out to me, "Felicia, don't go!"I reluctantly turned back.In my previous life, the rare occasions they came looking for me were almost always to stand up for Simone.Now that they'd shown up, all I felt was irritation."What are you guys doing here all of a sudden?"Riley's expression stiffened at my impatient tone before she forced a smile. "We haven't seen you in so long. We were worried about you. Fifi, have you been eating well? You've lost weight. And your clothes… why are they so worn? Let me take you shopping, okay?"She reached for my arm.I instinctively took a step back. A flicker of hurt flashed in her eyes."Fifi, are you still mad at us after all this time?""No. I'm not mad. I'm just not used to physical closeness," I answered honestly. "Also, I'm doing fine here. You don't have to worry abo

  • This Time, I'm the One Leaving First   Chapter 7

    The call ended with Michael flying into a fit of rage, demanding, "Why do you always have to compete with your sister?"I told him I had work to do and hung up.I wasn't lying. I was preparing for a transfer.In my previous life, I spent years working as Simone's assistant. After I got married, I was trapped in the same city with my husband and child.When I was little, I always felt envious watching other people with happy families. Sometimes I wondered if the younger me could've ever imagined that the family I longed for would one day become my cage.That one phone call was enough to wake me up completely.I realized that I was still subconsciously comparing myself to Simone.The growing pains that had followed me during my previous life had carried over into this one.I shouldn't let myself be trapped by that so-called love anymore.When the project ended, I picked up my suitcase and boarded a train bound for South City with a recommendation letter from Mr. Reyner and my co

  • This Time, I'm the One Leaving First   Chapter 6

    "Felicia!" Riley snapped when she heard the suspicion in my tone.She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. "Fifi, we're family. It hurts me that you think like that. Your dad and I have reflected on our actions. We know we haven't cared enough about you."We got you a bank card. There's money in it for your expenses. The pin is your birthday. Take it and make sure you take care of yourself."I fell silent. Her simple words stirred something in me.Maybe it was the child in me that couldn't stop loving her parents. Or maybe, deep down, I still wanted them to love me just a little.My tone softened. "Thank you, Mom."She let out a sigh of relief. "I thought you were going to stay mad at us forever. By the way, Fifi, when will your project be finished?"I didn't know her motives for asking me that, so I gave a vague answer."In two or three days."Riley passed the phone to Michael."Here's the thing. Your sister is about to graduate, and we're planning on starting

  • This Time, I'm the One Leaving First   Chapter 5

    I got straight into the black sedan that had come to pick me up, leaving Riley and Michael's argument far behind.The car drove me all the way to the research base.A few senior students were already waiting for me at the entrance. As soon as I stepped out of the car, they hurried over to help with my luggage."You must be Felicia, right? Our advisor has told us all about you. He said you're the most promising student he's seen in years!""Yeah. We thought he was exaggerating. Now that we've met you, it turns out you really are as brilliant and beautiful as he said."I flushed at the praise.Back in that house, the words I heard most were criticism and ridicule.Riley would say, "A girl raised in an orphanage is bound to lack manners."Michael would sigh and say, "She's so small-minded. Nothing like a true Graham." I was insecure and quiet—I could never compare to Simone. She had been raised by their side and was elegant in every way.No one had ever called me smart and beau

  • This Time, I'm the One Leaving First   Chapter 4

    I felt like laughing. "It's because you guys never asked," I replied.My grades were still posted on the wall back at the orphanage. My suitcase was filled with trophies I had earned over the years.It wasn't that I wasn't good enough—they just chose not to see it.After that day, my parents seemed to have come to their senses. They started making an effort to learn about my past.At the dinner table, they would ask how life had been at the orphanage. They'd ask if school had been hard and if I'd been struggling.I answered them evenly.Meanwhile, Simone always found a way to steer the conversations back to herself. She never liked it when our parents' attention lingered on me.I happily watched her cling to them and pout since it meant that I didn't have to deal with them.Soon, the day I would leave them arrived.To my surprise, my parents actually cleared their schedules. They even had the chef prepare a full table of dishes to send me off."Fifi, you're heading somewhere

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