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46 || If you say so
I don’t know what I’m doing with Calum, not anymore. Declaring my love for him was not in the plan. But acting like he doesn’t own my heart has grown impossible. I love him.
A knock on the door alerts me of Calum’s presence. I drop my phone inside the drawer and pretend to be asleep. There was enough time to put on clothes but I stayed in bed. The mattress sinks under Calum’s weight. His lips touch my forehead and my eyes fly open. Speechless, I smile at him.
“Hey,” he whispers. I have been awake for a while, watching him and Mace through my phone. “I was checking in with Mace. I fed and bathed him,” he says like a happy child.
“Yeah? I haven’t been checking in on him as much,” I admit.
Calum has taken over since his arrival. The way he pays attention to Mace always makes my heart sing. It feels like I had so much weight on my shoulders and as soon as we had an agreement,
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 47 || Twat
Calum’s friends are unbelievable. They are too much, but in a good way. I wince as Sam tosses Mace up. Unlike Calum, he doesn’t toss him so high but my hand goes over my chest, and my heart beats normally when he drops Mace to the floor. Calum returns to my side and throws his arm around my shoulders. I lean into him and smile. It has grown so easy to settle into this undefined role. I know he wants more but is being patient with me.“How are you?” he whispers into my ear. His lips meet my temple, and I cock my head to the side. Calum catches himself from kissing me. My nose wrinkles, and he laughs. “What’s that face for, superstar?”“Nothing.”“Are you having fun?”“Kind of.” He frowns. I fix it by saying, “Yes. They are nice. I’m glad you have such friends.”Calum nods. “Me too. Want to check out the home studio? Caleb has
To Tempt My Stepbrother 48 || One bed
CALUMMy smile is permanent. I’ve been smiling since we boarded the plane to Manchester. But the thought of seeing Mum dampens the mood. I look towards Cathy to seek comfort from her but she’s fast asleep. Mace is also asleep in my arms. The boys have the seats behind us and are probably asleep. I can’t seem to sleep. I’m scared of Cathy’s and my reaction to seeing Mum. I’m nervous about her opening act for us. She’s singing one song, an original titled: Pretty angel. I curl a piece of her hair around my finger. Her hair is at shoulder length now. Cathy’s head drops to her shoulder as her snores increase. I stretch my body towards her and tilt her head so the weight is on my shoulder instead of hers. She moans but doesn’t move. Moments later, she mutters something under her breath. She jerks, twisting in her space beside the window. I shake her gently and her eyes flutter open.Fear shadows her features for the first few seconds. I use my free hand to cup her face.“Hey, I’m here,”
To Tempt My Stepbrother 49 || Tired of hurting
The bed is empty when I wake up. Mace is still in his crib but Calum’s side of the bed is warm. My son is awake but quiet. He tilts his head as he inspects the ceiling. I pout, pressing my thumbs to my temples as my other fingers wiggle. He waves a little and his hand drops. Mace hasn’t gotten around to making coherent sentences Calum can decipher but I know he will come around soon.Mace’s arms circle his ankles, he blinks up at me and gurgles. “Ma,” he sneezes out. I pause. Did... did he... He burrows his head into his bed, and his chin juts out. “Ma-ma.”A scream dies in my throat, and I clap a hand over my mouth. They did inform me that my baby’s speech might be delayed because he was a preemie but nothing, not even the mumble-jumble I had grown used to hearing, prepares me for this moment.Excitement seeps into my veins. I grab both sides of his crib. “Mace,” I whisper. He smiles
To Tempt My Stepbrother 50 || The Amelia song
“What are you doing?” Calum asks as soon as he enters the room. I shut the colouring book and place it over my phone as he leans down for a kiss to my neck. Mace pulls his father down by his hair, the crayons forgotten. Calum laughs, already lifting his son to kiss him on the cheek. “What was mama doing, Macey?”Mace rattles off some words that elicits laughter from both of us. I dust my knees, pushing myself up from the floor. Mace and I were working on his colouring skills. Calum sits on the edge of the bed and Mace squirms. He lets go of his son as I draw closer to both of them. With my help, Mace stands between Calum’s legs, both of his hands resting on his father’s knees.“We were colouring,” I tell Calum.Calum stares at the mess of colours on the floor and the colouring book I got before we left London. Mace grasp has improved. He can hold a crayon between his fist without breaking it.&ld
To Tempt My Stepbrother 51 || Cheer up
CALUMThe show is tomorrow, and Cathy is flirting with one of the stagehands. It’s not flirting if she’s laughing with him but in the ten minutes she has spent with him, she has laughed, giggled, and even snorted.What is he saying?All he needs to complete his clown prop are a wig, the fake nose and voila! A clown.I hear footsteps behind me but I can’t break my trance from those two as Cathy helps him with a block of wood. I swipe my arm over my forehead to catch the sweat rolling into my eyes. What is he getting paid for?The footfalls fade, and a shadow falls over me. Cathy is still with the blonde, skinny dude. I should go get Mace from Mum. He needs his mother’s attention. But I don’t move. It was her idea to leave him with his grandma so they could bond for a bit. Bond for a bit, or to give her a chance to flirt?“You look like you’re about to explode.”
To Tempt My Stepbrother 52 || Whatever you want to be
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac
To Tempt My Stepbrother 53 || Number one happy place
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
To Tempt My Stepbrother 54 || Are you scared?
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
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