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Chapter 11
Fiana flung the apartment door open, leaving Pam poised with her house key in hand. She gave Pam a haughty look and turned, walking back into the living room.
“I know what you’re doing,” Fiana spat.
The flame of the cigarette lighter towered over the end of the cigarette that balanced precariously in Fiana’s mouth before disappearing into nothingness when she snapped the lighter shut.
Pam followed Fiana into the apartment and kicked the door closed. She poured herself a glass of Wild Turkey whisky from the open bottle on the coffee table. Savoring the burn of the liquid as it slid down her throat, she watched Fiana pace the room.
“How’d you do today?” Pam asked.
“I hate it when you ignore me!” Fiana roared. “Don’t fucking ignore me, bitch. I said I know what you’re doing, damn it.”
“Christ. What now?” Pam reached out, when Fiana’s pacing bro
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Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapte 12
Pam felt better than ever. Her lessons not only provided her with strong, valuable moves for self-defense against muggers, but they instilled a new type of self confidence in her; something she had never known before.They reached the end of their lesson time and she was still filled with pent up energy. Thinking their lesson completed, Darryl’s guard was down just enough to allow her to take him by surprise with a sweep of her foot. He laughed as he struggled for balance. Reaching out for Pam as he fell back he caused her to tumble on top of him. Laughter filled the air as Pam rolled off and the two lay, side by side, on the studio floor.“You are getting good. I need to be careful,” Darryl chuckled.Pam rolled her head toward Darryl and looked him in the eye. She was suddenly aware of how close she was to him. Her body tingled from the nearness. She prayed he didn’t notice. She hopped up and straightened her shirt. “Ye
Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 13
“Here it is,” Pam said as she freed herself from the arm lock she shared with Darryl and stumbled onto the first step of her brownstone apartment building.Darryl stepped back and on the sidewalk and craned his neck to look up. “What floor are you on?”“The third,” she replied as she sat down on the step with a thud. “Do you think we’ll make it?”“You mean, you. I better catch a cab,” Darryl said as she seated himself, a little more gracefully, next to Pam.“Oh, come on up,” Pam begged. “You can get a little coffee down you and meet your net friend, Fiana. I’m sure she’s still up.”Her hand flew up to cover her mouth as she hiccupped and blushed.Darryl seemed not to notice Pam’s hiccup, or distress over it, as he looked past her toward the building’s entry door.“Does she have dark, scary hair?” he asked
Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 14
Pam entered her apartment to find Fiana sitting in her favorite easy chair smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of whisky. Pam sat down in the chair opposite her and stared. Fiana continued to smoke and drink, seemingly oblivious to Pam’s presence.“We need to talk.” Pam said when she finally broke the silence.Fiana took a long slow drag from her cigarette before looking directly at her and saying, “So, talk.”Pam cleared her throat and reached nervously for a cigarette. This was going to be more difficult than she originally thought. She lit her cigarette and got up to pour herself a drink. Tossing the burning liquid down her throat, she squared her shoulders and, still holding the bottle, turned to Fiana and offered her more. If Fiana was aware of the offer, she made no sign of it.“Yes? No?” Pam said as she jiggled the whiskey bottle in front of her lover.“Your mother’s been worried abo
Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 15
Pam fumbled in the kitchen cabinet for a clean glass. The apartment was getting out of control. What had Fiana been doing the whole time she was gone? That was a silly question. She was drinking, of course. All Fiana seemed to be doing these days was drinking.She reminisced about the early days when she and Fiana met. Fiana rarely touched a drink back then. She was a freelance writer for some of the top papers and magazines on the country; running all over the world to get the greatest and best stories.Pam noticed a change when Fiana returned from her trip to South America. Something happened during her trip, but Fiana refused to talk about it; denying there was any difference in her.Pam drew a glass of water from the faucet and popped two aspirin as far back into her mouth as she could without choking. She hated taking pills. She always felt that they would stick in her throat. But, she needed something to ease the throbbing in her temples that started durin
Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 16
Pam ignored the ashes that dangled precariously on the end of her cigarette while she sat sprawled on the sofa and swirled the ice in her whisky glass. She was brooding over the chain of events that recently occurred. The news on the local television station rattled in the recesses of her mind as the reporter gave a blow by blow account of a violent riot that occurred in the Bronx just that afternoon. When Fiana walked into the room it seemed almost surreal.“Pay backs are a bitch,” Pam mumbled.“Who’s doing what? Huh? Paying back for what? I’m missing something,” Fiana said. She stood and focused on the news, thinking Pam was referring to it.“I disappear, so you disappear,” Pam explained.“You knew where I was going,” Fiana reached for the crinkled pack of cigarettes that Pam tossed haphazardly onto the coffee table.“Not a clue,” Pam snarled.“Take y
Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 17
The lights of Ida’s six thousand square foot home twinkled invitingly as Pam’s cab made its way up the long, winding, tree-lined drive. Every muscle and nerve in her body stood at attention in readiness to face her mother. Ida’s estate gate keeper had forewarned her of Pam’s arrival so she was already waiting for her at the door.The soft music that was religiously piped into each room filtered past Ida through the open doorway and into the night. It gave the scene an artificial feel. Then, almost everything about Ida was artificial. She had artificial nails, artificial hair color, an artificial face lift, artificial breast implants and, most definitely an artificial personality. The only thing that Pam could think of that was real about her mother was her very real love of money. And why not? How else could she maintain such an artificial lifestyle?Pam pushed her way past the older woman, ignoring Ida’s outstretched arms, and bound
Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 18
The distress on Darryl’s face when he found Pam standing on the other side of his apartment door, overnight case resting on the floor next to her, didn’t go unnoticed by Pam, but she chose to ignore it. Whatever was bothering him was something she would rather he kept to himself. Her night had been difficult enough without taking on anything more from this man. All she wanted was to sit down and relax with a glass of whiskey and a cigarette.Tired of waiting for what seemed to be a paralyzed Darryl to invite her in, Pam picked up the suitcase and walked in past him; plopping herself onto the sofa.This seemed to break the spell he was under and he closed the door warily, never taking his eyes off her.“What’s this?” he asked warily.“I didn’t know where else to go,” she said.Darryl remained with his hand on the door knob.“I see,” he mused aloud.Pam was too wound up to noti
Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 19
The smell of hospital cleaners assaulted Pam’s nose as she lay in the exceedingly uncomfortable bed and slowly focused on her surroundings. She winced in pain as she felt the bandages on her head, rib cage, and abdomen. Now she knew what the saying ‘I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck’ meant.“Hello, my love. How are you?” Fiana said as she put down the vase of fresh flowers she’d carried into the room and rushed to Pam’s side. “Ida, she’s awake!”Ida rushed into the room, followed by the two nurses she was talking to.“Oh, honey,” Ida wept. “Oh, you’re awake, how wonderful!”Two nurses hurried Ida and Fiana out of the room while they scurried about checking Pam’s vital signs and notifying the doctor of her consciousness.Ida paced the corridor while Fiana struggled with the vending machine at the end of the hall. It had been several hours since s
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- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 24
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 23
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 22
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 21
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 20
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 19
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 18
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 17
- Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused Chapter 16
