Chapter 14: Burnt Toast

“Mina,” Kade said quietly, “what is this?”

I sat up so fast the blanket slid to the floor. “I can explain, please, give me one minute,” I said.

“I was looking for your phone charger, I knocked, you did not answer, I thought you were still asleep, and your bag was open on the chair,” Kade said, and his voice was so level it frightened me.

“Kade, please,” I said.

“Where did you get it?” he asked.

“It was on the table in your mother’s hallway, under the photograph of your father, I picked it up, and Nana Rose found me,” I said.

“My grandmother knew you had this, and she let you carry it out of the house,” Kade said.

“She told me to wait, she said you should not hear it at a dinner table, with your mother smiling over the wine, she said I should tell you myself when the time was right,” I said.

“And when was the time going to be right, Mina, at the wedding, in the delivery room?” Kade asked, and his voice cracked on the last word.

“I was going to tell you this week, I swear, I tried last night in the kitchen, I had the words in my mouth, and you said you would never lie to me, and I froze,” I said.

Kade stood up and walked to the window, and he stood with his back to me and the clipping hanging from his hand.

“Twenty years, I have asked her why he left, and she told me he was weak, she told me he was a coward, she told me some men are born without roots, and all that time she had this in a drawer,” Kade said.

“I think she wanted you to find it, I think she left it out on purpose,” I said.

“Of course she did, my mother never does anything by accident,” Kade said, and he gave a short, awful laugh.

“Kade, I am so sorry,” I said.

“Do not apologize for your father, you did not do it,” Kade said, still not turning. “But you stood in front of me last night and let me say I will never lie to you, and you sat there with this in the next room.”

“I know,” I said, and the tears started. “I hated myself the whole time.”

“Why did you not just say it, what are you afraid of, that I will hit a wall?” he asked.

“That you will look at me and see him, that you will look at my face and see the man who took your father away, and the contract will mean nothing, and you will send me back to my apartment with a baby and a bodyguard,” I said.

He turned around then, and his eyes were red.

“Is that what you think I do, I look at you and see him?” he asked.

“I do not know what you do, Kade, I have known you for a few weeks, I only know that every person who was supposed to love me chose the company over me,” I said.

Kade crossed the room in three steps and knelt in front of me on the carpet, and he took my hands, and the clipping crumpled between our fingers.

“Listen to me, I am angry, I am so angry I can barely breathe, and it is not at you, do you understand, it is at a man I never met in this paper and a woman who has kept this like a weapon,” Kade said.

“But you hid it,” I said.

“I hid my entire childhood in a closet and I called it being private, I am the last person on earth who can judge a secret,” Kade said, and his thumbs wiped my cheeks.

“You are not leaving?” I asked, and my voice came out like a little girl’s.

“I told you I leave before sunrise, and it is sunrise, and I am on my knees on your carpet, so I think I am bad at it with you,” Kade said.

I laughed, and it came out wet and ugly, and I put my forehead against his.

“Is it true, what it says, did my father do that to your family?” I asked.

“It says his company bought the debt that sank mine, there is a word in red ink, ruined, my mother circled it so many times the paper tore,” Kade said.

“He is sick, Kade, I saw blood on his handkerchief, he will not tell me what is wrong, and I think he has been keeping secrets for a long time,” I said.

“I know, you told me, and it does not excuse him, nothing does, but a sick man in a locked room is not the same as a villain in a movie,” Kade said slowly.

“I want to ask him, I want to ask him why, I need to hear it from his mouth,” I said.

“We will ask him, together, when he is strong enough to answer, Nana Rose said wait, and for once I think my grandmother is right,” Kade said.

“What do we do about your mother?” I asked.

“Nothing, we do not let her see that it worked, we go to the lawyer on Thursday, we sign, we get married on Saturday, and she watches me do it with a smile, that is how I punish her,” Kade said.

“That is very petty,” I said.

“It is the family business,” Kade said, and for the first time that morning his mouth moved toward a smile.

He stood and held out his hand, and I took it. “Come eat, I made breakfast, and it is only slightly burned.”

In the kitchen the toast was black on one side and gold on the other, and he set a plate in front of me and sat down so close that our knees touched.

“Eat the gold side,” Kade said.

“I love the black side,” I said.

“You are going to be a terrible mother, you are eating charcoal,” Kade said.

“I am going to be a wonderful mother, I just have strange taste,” I said.

“You do,” Kade said, looking at me, and his voice went soft. “You have terrible taste in men, but you chose me for one night, so I forgive that.”

“Kade,” I said.

“Rule three, I know,” he said, and he did not look away.

The elevator chimed in the hallway, and a voice rang out through the whole penthouse. “Nobody panic, it is me, I brought croissants and a very bad feeling!”

“How did she get past the guards?” Kade asked.

“I told them I was a delivery of emotional support,” Zola said, bursting into the kitchen with a paper bag and a tray of coffee. “Why are your faces like that, who died, is it Dean, tell me it is Dean.”

“Nobody died, Zola, we are fine,” I said.

“You have been crying, he has been crying, there is a clipping on the table, and that is Nana Rose’s ring, so somebody tell me the whole story right now, I have snacks,” Zola said, dropping onto a stool.

Kade and I looked at each other, and he nodded once, and I told her all of it, slowly, the dinner, the hallway, the newspaper, my father’s name, and I watched her face go through six expressions.

“That old man,” Zola whispered at the end, “I always thought he was just cold, I did not think he was cruel.”

“We do not know yet if he was cruel or only afraid,” I said.

“Mina, you are the only person who would defend that man right now,” Zola said.

“I am not defending him, I just want the whole story before I decide how to feel,” I said.

“That is the most grown up thing I have ever heard you say, I am so proud I might cry in my croissant,” Zola said, and she hugged me from the side with one arm.

Kade’s phone buzzed on the counter, and Brandt’s name lit up the screen.

“Sir, I have news about the pharmacy photograph, the photographer finally talked, he says the person who sold him the tip came to his studio in person,” Brandt said, on speaker.

“Who?” Kade asked, and every trace of warmth left his voice.

“A woman in a tight black dress, tall, with cheekbones like blades, she paid in cash and left a business card with a Voss Group logo on the back, sir, I am sorry,” Brandt said.

Zola dropped her croissant.

Kade stood very still, and the air in the kitchen seemed to go thin.

Kade closed his eyes, and when he opened them they were hard as glass.

“Tamsin,” he said.

“She has worked for me for four years, Mina, and she sat across from you in my office and smiled.”