LOGINThe waiting room smelled of antiseptic and lilies. Toria sat with her hands twisted in her lap while Chriss filled in the forms, his handwriting uncharacteristically ragged."You're writing in the wrong box," she said."What?""That's the allergy section."He stared at the page. Crossed it out. His hand shook slightly, and she watched him notice it and clench his fist to stop it.He's afraid, she realised. Chriss is actually afraid.Dr. Mehra was brisk, kind, and unimpressed by money. "This is a routine test, but it does involve a needle, so I'll need you to stay very still, Toria. Your husband can hold your hand."He took it before the doctor finished the sentence.The room dimmed. The ultrasound screen glowed. Toria stared at the ceiling tiles and counted them, forty-two, forty-three, while the cold gel spread across her stomach and the long needle slid in. A pinch. Then pressure. Then nothing, and the quiet, enormous waiting."Breathe," Chriss whispered. His forehead was damp. "Loo
Alexa kissed the air beside Toria’s cheek.“You’ve cut your hair,” he observed, looking at her as though the change required an explanation. “Brave. Is it permanent?”Toria forced a polite smile. “Hello, Father.”“Don’t hover in the doorway. Come in. It’s your house, isn’t it? Or so I’m told.”He walked past her without waiting for an invitation, carrying himself with the confidence of a man who had never questioned whether he belonged somewhere. Perhaps he didn’t need to. Toria had never bothered to check whose name was on the deed.Chriss shut the door behind them.“You didn’t call,” he said.Alexa turned slightly, his expression almost amused. “A man shouldn’t need an appointment to see his grandchild.”His eyes moved briefly towards Toria’s stomach before returning to Chriss.“Chriss. You look tired. Fatherhood agrees with you already.”Chriss offered no response.Dinner was a performance, and everyone at the table seemed to know their parts.Mrs. Brandt served roast lamb, careful
For three months, she kept her distance.She had told him the morning after the test, in four flat words across the breakfast table. I'm pregnantDon't touch me. He had gone white, then silent, then had said nothing at all. Since then, he had changed. Slowly Oddly Like a man learning to walk on ice.Notes appeared on the fridge. Ate? C. Messages in the middle of the day: How are you feeling? One evening she found a fresh bottle of prenatal vitamins on the bathroom shelf. She'd mentioned running low exactly once, in passing, over a week before.He remembered. It unnerved her.One Thursday she came downstairs and found him in the kitchen. Not at work. In jeans, with his sleeves rolled up, a frying pan in his hand."It's ten o'clock," Toria said. "Why are you home?""I took the day off.""You've never taken a day off.""I know." He cracked an egg with grim concentration. "I want to know what your days are like. Sit."She sat, mostly out of shock.He put a plate in front of her. The eggs w
For a week they were polite strangers.They shared meals. They shared a house. They shared a bed, with a river of cold cotton between them. Toria answered in single words and went to bed early. Chriss watched her across the table, and she pretended not to notice.The nausea didn't go away. Neither did the dizziness. Neither did the calendar.On the eighth morning, she bought a test from a pharmacy across town and hid it in the bottom of her bag like contraband. She wasn't ready to look. If she looked, it would be real. And if it was real, she'd have to decide what kind of mother to be to a child who was already a clause in a contract.Her phone buzzed.Chriss: Dressing up casual tonight. Business thing. Be ready at 6.No question mark. No please.She almost said no. Then she looked at her reflection in the pharmacy window: long hair dragging at her shoulders like an old promise, the girl who waited by windows.She walked into the salon next door."Cut it," she told the stylist. "All o
The screen went dark in Toria's hand.Four digits stood between her and the truth. She tried his birthday. Wrong. She tried hers. Wrong, of course. Why would he ever use hers?The shop bell chimed.Chriss filled the kitchen doorway, breathing hard. He crossed the room in three strides and took the phone from her fingers. He didn't look at it. He looked at her."What did you read?""Enough." Her voice shook. "Told me what?"A muscle jumped in his jaw. "Not here.""Then where?""Not tonight." He pocketed the phone. For one second he looked almost afraid. "Please, Toria."Please. He had never said it before. It frightened her more than any threat.She slept in the guest room that night, with the door locked.She woke in the wrong bed.Cream sheets. Their bedroom. Chriss's side was empty, but the pillow still held the dent of his head, and the sheets were warm. She was still in yesterday's dress. He had moved her in the night and slept beside her. He hadn't touched her.She sat up and the
She didn’t sleep.By morning, the question had worn a groove in her mind.Why did I marry you?She replayed Chriss’s words until they became almost meaningless. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the way he’d looked away, as though meeting her gaze had become impossible.She walked into the dining room already braced for another argument.Chriss was waiting at the table, dressed in a crisp white shirt, scrolling through his phone. A cup of untouched coffee sat beside him.He looked up when she entered.“Where did you go yesterday?”Toria pulled out a chair.“We’ve done this.”“You never answered my question.”“Because it’s none of your business.”She poured herself some coffee, keeping her hands steady.He put his phone down.“I’m your husband. Of course it’s my business.”A humourless smile touched her lips.“Interesting. You vanish for days, and I’m not allowed to ask questions. Last month, you were gone for four nights. Who was she, Chriss? Should I start wondering about her n







