Chapter 4

Freesia’s POV

The situation dawned on me and I nearly let out a shriek, but Zarek covered my mouth with his palm and pulled me deeper into his arms. I glanced at him with panicked eyes. He held a finger to his lips, signaling me to stay quiet. Once again, he was completely unfazed while I was falling apart at the seams.

“Um…He didn’t return after the party,” I managed to reply. “He probably spent the night with Isabella!” The lie weighed heavily on my mind as I became overly conscious of Zarek’s hand on my waist.

“Oh…right.” By the way, Freesia, did you find a mate at the ball yesterday?”

His question stopped me in my tracks. The memories of last night came flooding back. Zarek’s tongue in my mouth, his breath on my neck, his fingers in my–

Zarek nudged me to reply. “No, I did not, I’m sorry,” I blurted out, wondering who my apology was truly for.

“That’s too bad,” I could sense the disappointment in his voice. “Try putting some more effort into finding one from now on. I’ll leave you be.”

I really did try, though. But instead of spending my night making conversation with a potential mate, I was with my stepbrother, doing…

Throes of guilt took hold of me as the reality of our betrayal settled in. Zarek’s father took me in when I had nowhere to turn to, and in return, we…

Zarek. What did he think about last night?

His expression showed no clues. He tossed my clothes on the bed, and we dressed together in silence.

To him, I’m sure last night was just a drunken mistake. Of course it was; that’s all it could ever be. It was wrong to begin with–we’re stepsiblings, after all. For that reason alone, we could never be together.

Indulging in hopeless possibilities of a future with Zarek would only push me deeper into my anguish. I won’t go down that road.

I had to clean up this mess and forget about it. I stripped the comforter from my bed and tossed it in the hamper. I turned to Zarek, who was staring intently at my bedsheets. I followed his eyes to a small but distinct bloodstain on the sheet. Embarrassed, I rushed to cover the spot with a blanket, but it was too late.

Zarek went very still. He stared at the sheet with vacant eyes and a tightened jaw, like he was searching for something to say.

“Zarek, it’s-”

“You lied to me.” He didn’t even look at me as he spoke. “I was right about you. You’re just a wolf-less fat girl that no one wants to sleep with.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It’s my fault? Too angry to feel hurt, I snapped back, “If that’s true, then what about you? Why did you sleep with me?”

He finally met my gaze. “You were the one to spread your legs.” He shrugged.

“And you were the one who came into my room and kissed me! How dare you blame me?” I shouted, and something in his face shifted. He seemed surprised by my reaction, and it only pissed me off even more.

“So what?” he said, eyes narrowed. “If it wasn’t me, would you have let that drunk asshole from the ball fuck you instead?”

I gritted my teeth with rage. Is that what he thinks of me? That I’m some slut?

I wanted to provoke him, to insult him the same way he hurt me. “Not everyone is as easy as you, Zarek. You only came on to me because you thought fucking your stepsister would be hot, right?”

Zarek flinched.

“Stepsister?” he mumbled under his breath. “You’re wrong. It’s…it’s because of the damn mate bond!” he snapped. “Now drop it.”

What? His words left me unsteady on my feet. It was like my world had tilted–Zarek and I were mates?

Zarek released an irritated breath. “I knew before I left for college. But I didn’t want you. I don’t want you. Isabella will be my Luna, end of discussion.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. How could he say this after last night? Was it all just a lie?

“And Freesia,” his tone was sharp. “If you ever tell anyone about this, especially Isabella, I’ll make sure you’re no longer welcome in the pack.”

Without even thinking, I raised my hand and slapped Zarek in the face. His eyes grew wide, as if the idea of my anger at him was unimaginable. I’ve been a victim of his cruelty a thousand times before, but this was different. This shattered my heart.

I choked back my tears, refusing to let go of what little pride I had left in front of Zarek. “Get the hell out of my room,” I demanded.

The second he shut the door behind him, I unleashed the stream of tears into the same sheets we shared last night.

–

A few days later, Zarek’s father had invited Isabella over for dinner. The conversation flowed smoothly amongst the three of them, but I didn’t exactly feel like talking.

“Freesia,” Isabella sounded elated, but my mind was elsewhere. “We have something to announce!”

Zarek wrapped his arm around her waist. With a smile, he said, “Isabella and I are getting engaged.”

His declaration broke me completely. I thought I was going to be sick.

“Oh, and Freesia, you’ll be a bridesmaid at the wedding.” Zarek’s voice was cocky. “So you’ll need to lose weight. We wouldn’t want your dress to rip like last time.”

I looked at Zarek, with his pompous grin and fiancée at his side, like I’d seen a ghost. He gripped her even tighter.

“I know this might come as a surprise to you,” Isabella broke the air, “but we’d really like your blessing!”

"Congratulations," I pulled out my university acceptance letter. I forced myself to say, my voice deliberately casual as I clung to what little pride I had left. "Actually, I'll be attending this university in the fall. It's on the other side of the country, so unfortunately, I won't be able to make the wedding."

My stepfather shot me a disapproving look. "Freesia, that's no way to respond to such happy news."

"Sorry. I'm just not feeling well tonight," I said softly. "I think I'll head to my room now."

I turned and walked away, feeling Zarek's glare burn into my back.

I resigned to my room, relieved to be free from the source of my tension.

This is it, I thought, leaning against my closed door. This is the end of it. No more watching him from across rooms. No more pretending his indifference didn't cut. No more lying awake wondering what was wrong with me.

Later that night, the sounds of their passion traveled through the walls. Isabella's cries rang out like victory trumpets.

Her ardent cries of pleasure rang out. I put on my headphones to block out the noise, but they did nothing for the turmoil between my ears.

The pain from the mate bond, from Zarek, was something I couldn’t hide from.

I clenched my teeth and told myself: I was going to find everything I ever wanted. In a place where I could breathe without smelling him. Where every day wouldn't be a reminder that I wasn't enough.

It’s been a few weeks since Zarek rejected me. I’ve been doing everything I can to keep myself busy–taking long walks, working my new job at a restaurant in town, and eating. I’ve been eating a lot.

My appetite has grown tremendously, but it’s been difficult to hold my food down. After meals, my stomach churns, and I feel like throwing up. I figured my body was reacting to the pain of Zarek’s rejection until…

I missed my period. My period has always arrived at the same time–right at the start of each month. I stared at the pregnancy test I’d been hiding in my bathroom, trembling at the possibility of what it could reveal.

The three minutes it took for the pregnancy test to show results passed eerily slow, but the ring of the alarm crept up on me all too fast. With a deep breath, I grabbed the test and flipped it around.