Chapter 4 - Claire’s POV

I sat alone in the examination room, looking at the mottled linoleum floor while the doctor examined my leg. There was a gash across my calf that would need several stitches. It hadn’t hit any major nerves or blood vessels, but it would still take some time to heal.  

The doctor finished bandaging my leg and patted my shoulder. “Keep your weight off of it for a few days and remember to take all your antibiotics,” she said. “Your knee is sprained, too, but you’ll be fine eventually.”  

I nodded politely, but in truth I was barely listening. 

The crash kept replaying itself over and over in my mind. The screech of tires, the crunch of metal, my daughter’s scream. Then the sight of my husband running straight past us to rescue my sister.

Now Savannah was awake and stable, apparently waiting for some “necessary tests.” 

The doctor assured me that Emma was fine, she had just been taken away for a check-up. 

That was the only thing keeping me upright. 

It wasn’t the support of my nearest and dearest, that was for sure.

I watched them through the glass window in the door. My mother, father, and husband were clustered around Savannah, who wore a faint, saintly smile. My mom was clinging to her and sobbing. My dad was keeping a stiff upper lip, but I could see tears in his eyes too.      

I looked at them in silence. Not once did they come to check on me, or even glance my way. I wasn’t part of their picture. 

I was just a blurry image in the background, the mistake they’d prefer to ignore.

They had always loved her more.

She was the pretty one, the golden child. I didn’t even get to be the smart one. I was the troublemaker. If I brought home a good grade, they’d say, “See, you can do well when you try.” Then Savannah would smile at them and they would rush to her side, showering her with praise just for existing. 

When she disappeared seven years ago, they blamed me. After all, we’d just had a fight. I’d stolen Derek from her and she was naturally insane with rage. Never mind that they’d never actually dated. 

Then she disappeared in that shipwreck and they mourned her as their angel, gone too soon. I watched them age ten years overnight. 

After that, every look they gave me was full of blame and unspoken hatred.

Savannah said something, head tilted winsomely. My mom glanced at me through the door, then looked away, lips tight. I couldn’t hear what she said, but I could imagine. “Leave her. She’s always been difficult.” 

A minute later, the door opened anyway. 

Savannah stepped through, a soft, regretful expression on her face. Her arm was in a sling, but she still looked flawless. An Academy-Award winning actress ready for her closeup.

“What do you want?” I said. Maybe it was rude, but I was too tired to deal with her drama right now.

“Claire,” she said, her voice trembling just enough, “I didn’t think you’d be happy to see me alive. I don’t blame you if you’re angry. I never meant to… to take Derek away. Things just… happened.”

I laughed, a low, bitter sound that made her flinch. “Of course you didn’t mean it. You never do.” 

Before she could reply, our mother cut in. “Claire,” she snapped. “That’s enough! Be nice to your sister. She’s been through so much.” 

I looked at my mom’s tear-stained cheeks and wrinkled dress. “Your favorite daughter is back,” I said quietly. “And she’s very good at pretending to be nice.”

Her face hardened with the same disgust I’d seen since the day Savannah left. “You never change,” she whispered. “Even now, you can’t let go of your jealousy.”

Then my father appeared behind her. “If you hadn’t been so unreasonable,” he said, “none of this would have happened. You put Savannah and the child in danger.”

The words hurt, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. In their world I was always to blame.

I felt something inside me shut down completely. There was no anger left, only a cold distance.

I nodded. “You’re right,” I said. “Everything’s my fault.”

My parents frowned and shifted uncomfortably.

The doctor came in, holding Emma’s small hand. My daughter’s eyes lit up when she saw me, and for a moment, everything else fell away.

“She’s perfectly fine,” the doctor said. “A few bruises, but nothing serious.”

I thanked her and stood up. Pain shot up my injured leg, but I took a deep breath and adjusted my crutch.

Emma looked at me with big, worried eyes. 

“It’s okay, sweetie,” I said. “Let’s go home.” 

When we stepped into the hallway, Derek finally looked up. He frowned and took a step forward. “Claire,” he said, his voice cautious, “are you—”

“Not dead yet,” I said coldly. 

I saw him flinch. His mouth opened as if to say something, maybe “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t mean to,” but I didn’t care. 

I limped towards the exit, Emma pattering along beside me.

***

Back at the house, everything looked different. Even my face in the mirror looked like a stranger’s. I moved through the rooms, gathering the essentials: clothes for me and Emma, her favorite stuffed bunny, my phone charger, and my laptop. 

Our Uber driver arrived and Emma followed me, clutching her bunny. Inside the car, she finally asked, “Mommy, where are we going?”

“Just for a little trip,” I signed, forcing myself to smile. “Somewhere quiet.”

I chose a modest hotel, not far away. When the door shut behind us, I felt a strange sense of peace. 

Emma sat on the bed, watching me quietly. “Mommy,” she signed, “are you mad at Daddy?”

I hesitated, then sat down beside her. “Sweetheart,” I said, stroking her hair. “If Mommy and Daddy decide not to live together anymore… Who would you want to stay with?”

She blinked, confused, then answered without thinking. “With Mommy.”

I hugged her, smiling through my tears. “That’s all I needed to know,” I whispered.

***

While Emma napped, exhausted, I booted up my laptop and searched for a good lawyer. I called him and my voice was steady when I said, “I’d like to file for divorce. As soon as possible.” 

The process was surprisingly easy. The lawyer emailed me a draft for approval and couriered over the papers for me to sign. Then I had them delivered to Derek, who was still at the hospital with Savannah. 

If he felt bad about it, she could comfort him.

As for myself, I was finally free.