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Torn Between My Boyfriend & the Professor

Torn Between My Boyfriend & the Professor

Romance
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-21
By:  Juno SparksUpdated just now
Language: English
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Synopsis

Contemporary

Dark Romance

Mystery

Goodgirl

Independent

Professor

Affair

Age Gap

Forbidden Love

Five years with Tyler taught Lena Marsh how to be easy to love: agreeable, steady, never wanting too loudly. It also taught her how to disappear. Then a stranger on a cruise ship asks her a question no one has ever bothered to ask, and for one reckless night, she remembers what it feels like to be seen. She doesn't get his last name. She doesn't think she'll ever see him again. Three weeks later, she walks into her senior seminar at Pembroke University, and the man writing his name on the chalkboard turns around. Professor Julian Ashford. What starts as forbidden becomes consuming. Julian is careful, guarded, and hiding a past he's terrified of repeating. Lena is done being careful. Together they build something real in the spaces between rules they both know they're going to break. But someone is watching. Anonymous texts start arriving, proof that every stolen moment has an audience. Lena's best friend Sophie is warm, funny, and the kind of friend who knows exactly what to say, right up until the reader learns she's been the one taking notes all along. And Tyler, the boyfriend everyone loves, doesn't grieve the loss of Lena the way anyone expects him to. He starts calculating. As the semester tightens around her like a fist she can't see closing, Lena has to figure out who's protecting her, who's using her, and who's simply waiting for the right moment to destroy everything she's built. The people she trusts most may be the ones with the most to lose if the truth comes out. And the truth is coming, whether any of them are ready or not.

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19 Chapters
Overboard
Tyler's hand rests on my thigh as we drive, warm and heavy - a weight I've grown so used to that I barely register it anymore.I stare out the window instead.Palm trees blur past in the Florida heat, and I count them because counting things has somehow become a habit, a way of filling silences that used to make me anxious and now just make me tired.The minutes between Tyler saying something and expecting me to laugh.The seconds it takes him to notice I've gone quiet.The years.Five of them.Five years since anyone asked what I wanted for dinner and actually waited for my answer instead of already reaching for the takeout menu he'd already decided on."You're gonna love the buffet on this ship," Tyler says, keeping his eyes on the road. He's got that confident tone he uses for everything, like he's already decided how things are going to go. "My buddy Rick did this exact cruise last year. Said the omelet station alone is worth the price of the ticket.""Sounds great."I smile becau
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Seminar
Lena -Julian Ashford wears a gray sweater with the sleeves pushed up to his forearms, as if he gave no thought at all to how he looks this morning. I know better now. I know how deliberate he can be, how every casual detail conceals a decision. He sets his books on the desk at the front of the room, and the small thud of paper and leather shouldn’t do anything to me.It does anyway, and I hate that it does.“Victorian literature,” he says, turning toward the class, “is obsessed with what it refuses to say.”I stare at my notebook, because looking at him feels dangerous, feels like standing too close to a ledge. His voice is the same one I remember from the ship, only now it’s coming from the front of a classroom, dressed in tweed and authority instead of salt air and moonlight. There are eighteen students sitting between us, and somehow that feels like nowhere near enough distance. I count the heads without meaning to, as if their bodies might form a wall thick enough to keep me safe
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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The Bet
Lena -Sophie's voice drops half an octave and goes gravelly and clipped.Suddenly, she's not Sophie anymore. She's Professor Donnelly, explaining thermodynamics like he's personally offended by the existence of entropy."The second law," she intones, adjusting an imaginary pair of glasses, "states that some of you did not do the reading."Priya shrieks and throws a throw pillow at her head.Ava is cross-legged on her bed, chemistry notes spread around her like a crime scene. She doesn't even look up, but I catch the corner of her mouth twitching, the smallest crack in her studious armor."Do the one where he loses his laser pointer," Priya begs. "Do it. Do it. Do it."Sophie stands on the bed, wobbling slightly, wine sloshing dangerously close to the rim of her plastic cup. Then she launches into an impression so specific and so painfully accurate that I can't breathe.My stomach hurts from laughing.Ava's laughing too now, silent, her shoulders shaking. That's how I know something i
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Radio Silence
Lena -Tyler shows up at my door with a caramel macchiato, extra pump of vanilla, oat milk.I mentioned months ago that regular milk had started sitting weird in my stomach, a throwaway comment I barely remember making.He remembered.He always remembers the little things, filing them away somewhere in his head like small deposits into an account he's been building for years. Exhibit A through Z in the defense of a boyfriend who pays attention."I made a reservation," he says, holding out the cup like an offering.He's wearing the blue button-down I bought him for his birthday, the one that makes his eyes look less brown and more amber, and for a moment I remember standing in the store deciding between that shade and a gray one, wanting to get it right."That Italian place on Fifth. The one with the bread you like."I take the coffee.It's perfect, obviously.He's had five years of practice."What's the occasion?""Do I need one?"He smiles.It's a good smile. Easy. Familiar. The kind
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Terms of Agreement
Lena -His office door stands open when I arrive, propped with a rubber wedge that looks almost apologetic for the invasion it invites.I can see him through the gap before he notices me.Sleeves rolled to his elbows, forearms tense with the kind of stillness that means he's anything but relaxed. Red pen tapping against a stack of papers he clearly isn't reading. His eyes keep drifting toward the door, then away, like a man checking a clock he refuses to admit he's watching.He's pretending to work.So am I."You're early," he says without looking up."Five minutes.""I noticed."I sit in the chair across from his desk, my pulse doing something complicated and unhelpful.Four feet of laminate, office supplies, and professional boundaries separate us.It doesn't feel like enough.Then again, it doesn't feel like anything - just a formality we've both agreed to respect out loud while ignoring underneath, the way you might promise to avoid a bruise and then press on it anyway, just to se
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Answering His Text
Lena -The building is empty, and somehow the emptiness has a sound.Not silence exactly. More like the low hum a room makes when nobody is supposed to be in it. I can hear the vending machine two floors down, humming its tuneless mechanical note. The radiator ticking, as if counting down to something. My own breathing, which I hate because it's way too fast, too loud in a space built for lectures and silence and nothing in between.Julian locked the door behind us.I watched him do it and didn't say anything. I watched the deliberate way his fingers turned the lock, like he'd already decided something I hadn't caught up to yet.Saying something would've made this real too soon, and I wasn't ready for real yet. Some part of me wanted to stay in the space before consequences, where everything was still just possibility.Now he's standing by the window, the blinds half open, streetlight cutting across his face in narrow stripes. The light makes him look older somehow, and more tired, li
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Dead End
Lena -At two in the morning, the blue light from my phone is the only thing awake in my dorm room.My hands shake as I stare at those three words.I saw that.I’ve read them so many times that the letters have stopped looking like words and started looking like accusations, like evidence in a trial I don’t remember agreeing to stand for.Saw what?The kiss?Julian’s hand against my jaw?The way my brain apparently stopped functioning the second his mouth touched mine?I don’t know.That’s the problem. The not knowing has become its own kind of torture, a blank space my mind keeps trying to fill with worse and worse possibilities.I don’t tell anyone.That might be what scares me most. How easily I’ve slipped into this. How natural it feels to carry the fear by myself, like I’ve been training for isolation my whole life without realizing it.I don’t tell Julian because what am I supposed to say? Someone’s watching us. I don’t know who. I don’t know how much they’ve seen. Saying it out
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Faculty Mixer
LenaThe English department throws these things twice a year: wine in plastic cups pretending to be real glasses, cheese cubes sweating on a table someone covered with a tablecloth to make the whole affair look less depressing. Fluorescent lighting does nobody any favors, least of all the faculty trying to look approachable in front of their students.I didn't want to come.Tyler did, though, and months ago I stopped fighting him on the small things. The big things take up most of my energy now. Fighting over a party felt like spending money I didn't have, so I let it go, the way I let so much go these days.What I didn't say out loud was the real problem.I'd be standing in the same room with both of them tonight: my boyfriend and my professor.Every second would be a performance, and I couldn't afford to screw up. I'd rehearsed my face in the bathroom mirror before we left, practicing neutral, practicing unbothered, until I almost believed it myself.Tyler's hand rests at the small
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Muscle Memory
Lena -Tyler says my name into the pillow like he's saying it in his sleep, half-formed, more breath than word. It's not want. It's habit. Five years of saying my name without asking his brain for permission, the same way you might mutter the name of a childhood street you haven't lived on in decades.I'm already awake when his hand finds my hip.The ceiling fan turns above us, slow and steady, clicking faintly on every third rotation. I've heard that sound so many times I could conduct it, could hum along to the exact interval between clicks like a metronome keeping time for a song neither of us chose. His apartment always smells like fabric softener and the candle he never lights, the one he keeps on the dresser because I bought it for him. Vanilla, with something powdery underneath. I remember picking it out in a drugstore two Christmases ago, thinking it was the kind of small, thoughtful gift that might remind him I existed as someone with preferences, someone who noticed things.
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-15
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Dorm Room, Late
LenaPriya's voice cuts through the dorm room, sharp with the kind of outrage only a cappella politics can produce."And then Madison had the actual nerve to say my riff was 'too much,' like she wasn't the one who - "She stops.Her eyes move around the room, from Sophie curled up on the beanbag to Ava hunched over her textbook, then finally to me, sitting cross-legged on the floor with my phone face-down beside my knee."Wait. Why does everyone in this room look like they're hiding a body?"Nobody answers.The silence lasts just a second too long, stretching thin enough that I can hear the hum of the mini-fridge in the corner, the faint bass from someone's music down the hall.I force out a laugh. It sounds thin even to me, brittle at the edges, like it might crack if anyone leaned on it too hard.I'm still thinking about Tyler's phone this morning. That photo of a moment I don't remember living. Proof that he's been watching me for longer than I ever realized. The memory sits in my
last updateLast Updated : 2026-09-16
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