5| Am I Being Crazy?

“Jay, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like shit. What the hell happened to you? David isn't talking to us either; it's like you both just fell off the face of the earth," Maddie said as she took a dainty sip of her iced tea.

I took a giant gulp of my mimosa, polishing it off before setting my glass on the table. I took the sleeve of my sweater and swiped it across my mouth in a completely unladylike fashion before replying. "Yeah... about that; David dumped me."

Maddie's eyes immediately widened to the point I thought they would pop out of her head. "He what!? That bastard. Why?! You two seemed perfect together."

I let out a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh. "Yeah well, apparently we weren't. Don't feel bad for not knowing though; I didn't either."

"Excuse me," Maddie called over to our server, "I'm going to need a mimosa as well; heck, can we just get a bottle of champagne over here please? Thanks."

"Would you like to just do bottomless?" Our server asked as he made his way to our table.

"Oh, you have bottomless here?" Maddie asked, her brow furrowed in contemplation, "Then yes, absolutely. We both do."

"Good call," I added.

"Thanks. Okay, so did he say why?" she asked.

"He met someone else," I said with a flat tone.

"That's fucked up. I'm so sorry."

I thanked Maddie before launching into the story about how I not only got dumped, but also got fired. Unlike with my mom, this time I disclosed every single detail.

"Damn..." she said, taking another swig of her mimosa.

"I know what you're gonna say..." I sighed, finishing off another glass. At least my hangover was gone. And yes, I knew drinking wasn't the answer, but in my defense, I really went through a lot in the last couple days.

"No you don't. No lectures," she sighed. "Honestly, I'm proud of you."

I almost spit out my newly refilled drink, "You are?"

"Absolutely! Jay, you bust your ass at your job, and I've watched you for 3 years lose more and more of your passion for journalism. That job was killing you, and lets just call it how it is, your boss is a bitch. Losing David... yeah, I am really sorry about that, and it hurts me to see you sad, but don't feel for even a second that losing your job was a bad thing; you'll find a better one."

"Thank you, Maddie. You're such a good friend. I'm sorry that I worried you. Now, enough about me! What was your news?" I asked, happy to change the subject.

"Oh... um, it was nothing," she replied, waving her hand in the air as if to dismiss the topic.

"Come on! It doesn't sound like nothing! Tell me, please?" I pressed.

"Um... I would; you know I would, and I really want to, but I just... I don't think after everything you're going through, that you need to hear my news."

"Maddie, I'm your best friend. Whatever it is, I can handle it."

"Okay... Um... Mike proposed to me last night... and we're engaged," she said slowly, her eyes searching my face for signs that I was about to lose it.

As I listened to her words, I was flooded with emotions. It was almost hard to decipher them, there was just so much going on in my mind. First, I was so happy for my friend — really, I was. She and Mike were great together; perfect even. I'd had a front row seat for the entirety of their relationship, so I knew this was right for them. On the other hand, that was supposed to be me, and I was not only jealous, but truly heartbroken.

I was supposed to be wearing a ring right now; Mads and I could have been sitting here together drinking celebratory mimosas and planning our weddings. But no; David left me, found someone else, and I was back at square one while my best friend was living my dream.

What's wrong with me that I am continuously abandoned?

"Oh no..." Maddie interrupted my thoughts, "Jay, I'm sorry. I knew I should have waited to tell you."

I shook my head to snap out of it, "No. Please, don't be silly, I'm glad you told me! I'm so happy for you. Really, Mike is a great guy; and a lucky one to have you as his fiancé."

"Thank you! We don't have to talk about it any more though; I can tell this is hard for you, and that's okay— I don't blame you at all. We can celebrate at a later date once you're back on your feet," she concluded.

I nodded and took another sip of my drink. "Thank you for understanding. Don't think for a second I'm not happy for you though, Mads. I am."

"I know," she said, polishing off her drink. "So, want to hang out after brunch? Maybe go to the beach and relax?"

I smiled at my friends suggestion; that did seem nice. "I would, but I need to go to the mall and find some new outfits. You're welcome to join me if you want."

"New outfits? What's the occasion?" She asked.

I couldn't help the smile that graced my face as I told Maddie about Ryan, and our time together last night. I told her about his offer to bring me with him to Siesta Key, how he brought me home safely, and I even followed up my story by showing her pictures from his I*******m.

"Oh wow... he's insanely gorgeous," Maddie commented as she scrolled through his pictures. "Plus, it's actually probably a good thing that he's gay— no complications with you two then, and you can focus on yourself."

"True. I don't know though... am I being crazy?"

She chuckled, "Maybe; but you need this, and he's hot, so I support this decision 100%."

"Thank you. That's exactly what I needed to hear."

"Of course!" She said as she signed her credit card slip. "Now, Let's go find you the perfect outfits!”