Bintang

‘As I stepped out of the place that had always made me feel safe, I refused to lift my head. I didn’t want to raise my face, nor did I want to see how bright that day was. It wasn’t that I didn’t wish to see the beauty of the world, but I was running from the truth—that I had broken the heart of the young man I loved. I couldn’t even look at the sky because it reminded me of him. I was a star who had betrayed the sky by refusing to stay with him and gaze upon him.’

“Mrs. Bintang.”

A staff member hurried toward the young woman who had already reached the front lobby.

The shoulder-length-haired woman turned. Bintang was the marketing director at her father’s company. She stopped walking and waited for her staff to catch up.

“Your umbrella, Ma’am.” The staff handed her a folding umbrella.

“Oh, right. I almost forgot,” Bintang said with a faint smile.

The staff gave her the umbrella, then handed over the documents she had also left behind.

“This too, Ma’am. Good thing you hadn’t left yet.”

Bintang took the folder of documents, closing her eyes briefly and shaking her head at her carelessness for forgetting something so important.

“Thank you. I almost left it behind, even though these are important documents,” she said gratefully.

“You’re welcome, Ma’am.”

Bintang excused herself because she had to meet a client. It had been a year since she began working at her father’s company as the marketing director, thanks to her ability to interact well with people and attract investors for her family’s banking business.

She opened her folding umbrella and walked beneath it, shielding herself from the blazing sun and from the sight of the sky.

‘I keep trying not to think about you, because I know the mistake I made hurt you and wounded you deeply. I avoid everything because I’m aware I’m no longer worthy of seeing you—my lips aren’t even worthy of speaking your name.’

**

“Your favorite, hot chocolate.”

A cup of hot chocolate was placed on the table, the steam rising with an aroma that teased the senses.

“Thank you,” Bintang said with a wide smile, looking at Anta who still stood after setting down the drink.

Anta sat across from Bintang, meeting his cousin who came for their usual lunch at his café.

After graduating college, Anta had been more interested in growing the family business than working at his grandfather’s company. He preferred dealing with cups, food ingredients, and everything in between, rather than stacks of paperwork.

“Just finished meeting a client?” Anta guessed.

“Yes. Thankfully, everything went smoothly,” Bintang replied before sipping her hot chocolate.

“Slow down,” Anta said as she burned her tongue.

He grabbed a tissue and handed it to her. Bintang took it and wiped her lips.

“Thank you,” she said after wiping her mouth.

“Bin, you could ask your staff to meet clients. Why do you always go yourself?” Anta asked, puzzled. His cousin was a director, yet she always handled everything personally.

“I could ask my staff to take care of it, but I’m building trust, Ta. This way, clients will believe in us and won’t have doubts, because I, as the director, handle it myself,” Bintang explained.

Anta kept watching her. She was still the same as before—hardworking and naturally good with people. But he felt something had changed. She no longer smiled warmly and sincerely like she used to. All that remained was the forced smile she showed to make others comfortable, even when she wasn’t.

“Eight years have passed so quickly. Back then, all we knew was playing and studying, and now here we are managing our family businesses,” Anta said while looking outside the café.

Although he said they played a lot, that wasn’t true for Bintang.

“Well … isn’t that what we studied for?” Bintang replied. She picked up her cup again, blew on the rising steam, and took a slow sip.

Anta turned his gaze from the window back to Bintang. He watched his cousin who appeared cheerful but carried immeasurable pain inside.

“Bin, what’s your goal for the future?” Anta asked.

Bintang paused, the cup stopping midway. She seemed to think, then looked at him. A goal—did she even have one? And if she did, could she ever achieve it?

“I’m not sure. I don’t know. All I know is that right now, I’m just living what I can live,” she answered with a small smile.

Anta continued to observe her, and out of playful curiosity he asked, “If Langit suddenly came back and stood in front of you, would you meet him?”

The question made Bintang’s heart race. She looked at him with an expression that couldn’t be described. Langit—the name she had never spoken again. If they were to meet, would he even want to talk to her? She remembered the pain in his eyes eight years ago. After so many years, would he be willing to speak to her again?

“Let’s not talk about that. You know how things were between us. And besides, it’s been eight years, Ta. I’m not sure he even remembers me,” she replied with a bitter smile.

Anta watched her closely. Yes, eight years had passed, but he was certain Bintang still loved Langit just as much as she did before they parted.

‘I’m too ashamed to face him. It was my fault for carving that wound into his heart. If fate were to bring us together again, I’m not even sure he would want to recognize me. Truly, if I’m allowed to hope, then I hope not to meet him. I’m too much of a coward to take responsibility for what I’ve done.’