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You know that feeling of staring longingly at something inches away from touching or reaching out to…. but can’t get..?
That’s how I felt watching the cheerleading team practice. You might wonder why I couldn’t join them or what was holding me back….well a lot.
For starters I obviously didn’t fit in or so I was told, I sighed as Alison’s shrill voice pierced the air as she yelled unfiltered insults to one of the girls who fell behind in step.
Alison was the queen bee of my school. She was the dream of most boys here. Not short, stunningly gorgeous, long sexy legs, and perfect shape and figure but she was mean as a stray cat.
She was one of the reasons I couldn’t join the cheerleading team. Alison had been a thorn in my side constantly reminding me of how quaint my background was compared to hers, she was the daughter of the most wealthy, renowned and dangerous billionaire in the city and she was someone you obviously didn’t want to mess with
Yeah, now she made sure to make my own life hell
Like how bad could things get?
I watched them practice for nearly an hour and managed to slip away before Alison could notice me staring like a mesmerized deer
Shit!
In my curiosity to watch them practice I forgot that Alison and her crew of mean girls just like her loved to find me and bully me. Now that I had the chance to flee I had waited and had been watching her practice
I ran for my locker and pulled out my bag and my things and stuffed them in as I closed my locker. Alison's face popped up and I screamed behind her was five of her mean-girl gang, glowering at me.
“Look at what we have here babes? Lady Lena of where again….oh you live in the slums” she said and behind her the other girls laughed.
I held in my breath and tried to step around her but she blocked my path and she grinned revealing dazzling white teeth
“Can I pass?” I said timidly which only seemed to make her amused.
“Why? There’s nothing at home for you, there’s no need to rush, we're having fun right?” She purred and I resisted the urge to push at her.
“I have homework to do Alison” I replied and she pouted.
“Awwww…..genius no you do not” she brushed a strand of hair from my face and I backed off
“What do you want with me Alison? What did I do to you?” I whined and she chuckled. She smiled like she was really concerned and if I didn’t know her well I would have thought she was
“What do I want sweetheart….just fun” she grinned “you know, I saw you watching me practice were you staring at my butt”
I closed my eyes and turned away “No”
She scowled “You don’t like my butt?”
“Alison I…..”
“You bitch” she shrieked and grabbed me by the collar and slammed me into the locker “You ugly piece of junk do you think you’re better than me?”
My head snapped back against the metal, a sharp pain rang through my skull.
Before I could respond, she yanked me forward and shoved me again. The girls behind her inched closer, blocking any escape route.
"Tracy, get your phone out," Alison commanded, not taking her eyes off me. "Record this. I want to remember every second."
My heart dropped into my stomach. "Please don't—"
"Please don't," she mimicked in a high-pitched voice. "Please don't what? Please don't show the world how pathetic you look? How you stuff your face every lunch while the rest of us actually watch what we eat?"
Tears burned behind my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I wouldn't give her that leverage. I'd learned that lesson a long time ago—crying only made Alisson even more of a mean person
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Alison grabbed my chin, her nails digging into my skin hard enough to leave marks. "What? Nothing to say? The great Lena Hartwell, top of every class, teacher's pet, thinks she's too good to even look at me?"
"That's not true," I whispered.
"Then look at me."
I forced my eyes to meet hers. Up close, she was even more beautiful which was ironic considering her evil nature.
The flawless skin, perfect teeth, not a single hair out of place and those cold blue eyes that showed how much she was enjoying making my life hell
"You know what I think?" She tilted her head, studying me like I was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe.
"I think you need to learn your place. I think you need to understand that no matter how hard you study, no matter how many scholarships you get, you'll always be nothing. You'll always be the stupid girl from the wrong side of town who doesn't belong anywhere near people like us."
The locker room door suddenly swung open.
I felt a small shard of hope—maybe that was a teacher, maybe someone who could stop this—but any hope I had died the moment I saw who walked in.
The football team.
The freaking football team
All of them.
They were at least fifteen guys in their jerseys, fresh from practice, with sweat still
on their skin and leading them was none other than……
Jace Dawson.
Jace Dawson, the quarterback.
The most handsome guy in school, whose posters hung in half the girls' lockers. Jace Dawson, who I'd stupidly and pathetically had a crush on freshman year before I learned better.
Before I learned that guys like him didn't even see girls like me as human.
He stopped when he saw what was happening, so did everyone
Oh the aura
For one foolish moment, I thought maybe, he'd do something.
Tell them to all back off and leave me alone, he was the team captain, they all listened to him.
Even Alison….because she was eyeing him like candy
Instead, he pulled out his phone.
"Make room," he said casually, not even looking at me. "Tracy, angle it better. We want to see her face."
Whatever stupid, foolish hope I had smashed into tiny pieces.
It was Nicole calling.I immediately rushed out of Jace's arms, ignoring his muttered curse of frustration, and put the phone to my ear, my words tumbling out in a rush. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry I forgot to call you guys! Were you and Jake able to get out okay? Are you safe?""We're okay!" Nicole's voice came through, slightly breathless but relieved. "Jake took the long way around so we could sneak in late and our parents wouldn't be there to ask us questions. But when we got to Jace's house, his dad was still up, so we got scared. Now we're at mine for a sleepover."There was a pause, and then Nicole's voice took on a worried edge. "What about you? Are you calling from prison? Do you need me to come help bail you out?!""What? No!" I said quickly, unable to help the small laugh that escaped. "Jace and I went back for it, and it's with us now!""Holy shit, are you serious?" Nicole breathed.There was a crackling sound on the line as the phone changed hands, and then Jake's voice cam
LenaWithout a word, I watched Jace's father, dark cloud that he was, pass by us and keep walking down the hallway. Where he was going, I didn't know, but I was grateful he was no longer glowering at us like we'd committed some unforgivable sin.The tension in the air was suffocating. I could feel my heart still hammering in my chest, could feel the heat of embarrassment crawling up my neck and settling in my cheeks.I looked over at Jace, my voice barely above a whisper. "What did he want?"Jace kept his eyes trained on his father's retreating back, watching until the man disappeared around the corner and out of sight. "I don't know," he said, his voice flat and hard. "But whatever it is, he'd better save that shit for later. We've got too much going on right now."I swallowed hard and nodded. "Let's go.""Okay," Jace said, finally tearing his gaze away from the empty hallway. "Your room or mine?""Yours," I said, and despite the awkward encounter we'd just had, I couldn't help the
"Yeah, whatever," I mumbled, but I couldn't help leaning into his warmth. "So your mom doesn't mind it? It's still unprofessional, isn't it?"I was about to put the last piece of tape on the gift, carefully securing the final tier of what Martin and I had designed to look like a three-tiered birthday cake. It had been Martin's idea to stack the boxes that way, so it looked fancy, like something you'd see in a bakery window. He'd also spent what felt like hours writing and rewriting a note to tuck inside, crumpling up draft after draft until he got the words exactly right.What he'd written in it, I would never know; he'd been very private about that part, but I was sure it was the cutest, most heartfelt little scribble ever."Oh, you're about to finish?" Jace said suddenly, sitting up straighter. "Hold on one second."He stood up and disappeared out the door, and I heard his footsteps heading toward what I assumed was his own room. A moment later, he was back, holding a small box o
LenaIt didn't take long for Martin to fall asleep in my lap.He'd been trying so hard to stay awake, fighting the exhaustion pulling at his eyelids as he carefully chose which ribbons would go where, explaining in meticulous detail why the red satin one was better than the red grosgrain one for this particular arrangement. But eventually, around eleven-thirty, he just couldn't do it anymore. His words had started slurring together, his careful explanations trailing off mid-sentence, and then his head had drooped against my shoulder, and he was out.As soon as I was sure he was completely asleep, I carefully shifted his weight, lifting him as gently as I could and carrying him over to his bed. He was heavier than he looked, all gangly ten-year-old limbs that didn't quite know where to go, but I managed to get him settled without waking him. I slipped his shoes off, set them neatly by the foot of his bed, and tucked the blankets around him so he could sleep comfortably.If I could
He answered immediately, his voice completely deadpan. “Bothering me.”I couldn’t help it; I just had to laugh. Not at him of course, but at the pure honesty and the completely serious way he’d said that.“I don’t mean that,” I said, still smiling. “I mean, what kinds of things does she enjoy? Like hobbies or activities or—”“Watching bad TV,” he said, just as deadpan as before.I laughed again, harder this time, and he looked at me with genuine confusion written all over his face.“What’s funny?” he asked. “She does like bad TV. She watches this show about people who live in a house together, and they’re always yelling at each other, and I told her it’s not very good, but she says that’s why it’s fun to watch.”I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, trying to compose myself. “Okay, okay. What about toys? What kinds of toys does she like to play with?”He thought for a moment, then started ticking things off on his fingers. “The slide at the park. The living room couch. The TV
LenaNow that there was no one shooting at me, no starving dogs barking in my face, and no Allison screaming at me and kissing my boyfriend, I was grateful to return to normalcy, if only for a little while.Having ordinary troubles like wrapping up a kid’s birthday present felt like a blessing compared to the chaos of the last few hours.I walked into Martin’s room and stopped dead in my tracks. The place looked like a craft store had exploded. Wrapping paper in every colour imaginable littered the floor, little trinkets and ribbons scattered across every surface, and what looked like an entire collection of miniature trains lined up on his desk.“What’s all this, bud?” I asked, picking my way carefully through the mess. “It's past 10; I thought you'd be tucked into bed by now.”Martin looked up at me from where he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by scraps of red ribbon. “Nope. Also, no tutoring today,” he announced matter-of-factly. “It’s Rosie’s birthday tomorrow
Jace's POVWe lost the fucking game.Now, Coach was screaming at me, the team captain who’d royally fucked up, and I stood there with my helmet under my arm and took every word with my mouth shut because what the fuck was I going to say.That I couldn’t see the field, because every time I’d lined u
"Miss Hartwell.”Nothing.“Miss Hartwell.”Still nothing.“Lena!”I opened my eyes.Coach Miller was peering down at me curiously.I fell asleep. In the middle of class. Impossible.In my defence, I had been awake until three. Cross-referencing Martin’s therapy notes with books on autism I download
ThreeThe days after I received the news of my father's death went by in a blur. I’d stopped counting how many times I woke up and forgot, only to remember and feel the loss all over again.Two weeks. That's how long it took for the reality of our situation to crash down on us completely.Mom had s
The girls laughed harder, while Alison beamed like she'd just won an award and the guys the whole school cheered for during games, the guys everyone worshipped just watched.Some of them smirked and some pulled out their own phones."Wait," one of them said, I think his name was Marcus. "Isn't that







