Chapter 5

I found the blood by accident when Mom had left her work jacket draped over the kitchen chair, and when I grabbed it to hang up, a white handkerchief which was crumpled and stained with dark red spots fell.

My heart stopped.

"Mae? You okay?" Rook stood in the doorway, backpack slung over his shoulder, waiting for me to drive him to his friend's house.

I shoved the handkerchief back in the pocket quickly, my hands shaking. "Yeah, let's go."

When Diego showed up to the library three minutes early, I couldn't believe my eyes.

I checked my phone, then looked at him suspiciously. "Who are you and what did you do with Diego?"

"Ha ha." He dropped his backpack on the table. "Can't a guy be early?"

"You've been late to everything since birth. So you being early is suspicious."

"Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf." He pulled out his notebook. "Or maybe I just want to get this over with so I can actually sleep tonight."

Fair enough, he had the same black eye bags as me.

"Okay." I opened my laptop. "Let's start with your history essay. Did you finish the outline?"

He slid a paper across the table. I scanned it, and my eyes widened with each line.

"This is solid," I said.

"Don't sound so shocked."

"I'm not shocked. I'm..." I paused. "Okay, I'm a little shocked. Two weeks ago you didn't even know where to start..'"

Something in my chest twisted as this version of Diego, the one who actually tried, who listened, who remembered what I said was dangerous because it reminded me of the boy I used to know. The one who helped me build blanket forts and taught me to ride a bike and made me laugh until my stomach hurt before he decided I wasn't worth his time.

I shoved the memory away and started my timer.

Three minutes later, I fired questions at him to which he answered them correctly.

"We might actually win this." I felt a small surge of pride despite myself. "You're actually getting this."

"Told you I'm a fast learner." he looked at me, and for a second, something passed between us. He leaned forward,until his perfume clouded my senses but before he could act, my phone buzzed, shattering the moment.

It was a text from an unknown number and reading it made blood drain from my face.

"What's wrong?" Diego's voice cut through my panic.

"I have to go." I was already shoving my laptop into my bag with shaky hands..

"Mae, what happened..."

"Family emergency." I slung my bag over my shoulder while my heart threatened to burst out of my chest. "We'll finish some other time."

"Do you need a ride? I can..." But I was already running.

The bus ride home that usually took twelve minutes felt like twelve hours. The bloody handkerchief flashed in my mind followed by the way Mom had been losing weight, looking more tired while coughing harder and more frequently.

"Please, please let her be okay," I kept whispering.

I didn't waste time bursting through the apartment door to find Mom on the couch, wrapped in a blanket despite the warm evening.

She looked small and her skin had a grayish tint that made my stomach drop.

"Mom." I dropped my bag, moving to her side. "What happened?"

"I'm fine." Her voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. "Carol overreacted, it was just a little coughing fit."

"You got sent home from work." I knelt beside the couch, studying her face. "That's not nothing."

"I got lightheaded for a second. They're just being cautious." she tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "Really, Mae. I'm okay."

She wasn't okay as I could see it in the way her hands trembled slightly, in the shallow way she was breathing, in the bead of sweat on her forehead.

"You need to see a doctor," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I don't need..." Mom started, then stopped as another cough seized her. She turned away from me, pressing her hand to her mouth, her whole body shaking.

The cough went on and on, like something was tearing apart inside her chest.

"Mom..."

She held up a hand, unable to speak, still coughing. I watched helplessly as she struggled to breathe, each cough sounding worse than the last.

Finally, when it subsided, she tried to hide the bright red on her palm but I had already seen it.

"Jesus, Mom." My voice cracked. "This isn't nothing. This is...you're coughing up blood. You need to go to the hospital. Right now."

"We can't afford it.." she started while her eyes became wet.

"I don't care about the money!" The words burst out of me. "I'll figure it out. I'll get more babysitting jobs, I'll...we'll deal with it but you have to see a doctor."

"Mae, sweetheart, listen to me. It's probably just because of the weather, and I know some cough syrup would help."

"You don't know that."

"I'll make a doctor's appointment soon. I promise." She squeezed my hand. "But right now I just need to rest. Okay?"

"Fine," I whispered. "But if you're not better by this weekend, we're going to the hospital. I don't care if we have to sell everything we own."

"Deal." she closed her eyes, leaning back against the couch cushions. "Can you make something for Rook? He'll be home soon."

"Yeah. Of course."

I stood up on shaky legs and went to the kitchen, my mind spinning with so many thoughts because I couldn't lose her not after already losing Dad. Not when she was the only parent I had left.

Rook came home twenty minutes later, dumping his backpack by the door and heading straight for the couch.

"Hey, Mom, can I..." He stopped, seeing her asleep under the blanket. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's just tired." I tried to keep my voice steady. "Had a long day at work."

Rook stared at Mom for a long moment, his forehead had furrowed. "She's been tired a lot lately."

"I know."

"Is she okay?"

I wanted to say yes, wanted to reassure him that everything was fine, that Mom was just working too hard but I'd never been good at lying to Rook.

"I don't know," I said quietly. "But we're going to make sure she sees a doctor, okay? Just to check."

Rook nodded slowly, still looking at Mom. "Okay."

"Come on. Dinner is almost ready."

We ate in silence at the kitchen table, both of us listening to the sound of Mom's labored breathing from the living room.

I was cleaning up the dishes when I heard a heavy thud from the living room.

"Mom?" I dropped the plate I was holding not minding the fact that water splashed everywhere, and ran.

Mom was on the floor beside the couch, her blanket tangled around her legs.

"Mom!" I dropped to my knees beside her. Her eyes were half-open, unfocused while her breathing was shallow and rapid.

"Mae?" Her voice was weak, confused. "I just... I got dizzy..."

"Rook, call 911!" I shouted.

I heard him scrambling for his phone, his voice shaking as he talked to the operator.

"Mom, stay with me." I grabbed her hand, squeezing tight. "The ambulance is coming, you're going to be okay."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I should have... should have told you..."

"Told me what?" But her eyes were closing, her grip on my hand loosening.

"Mom? Mom!" I tried shaking her but she wasn't moving.