Chapter 1

"Ahh ahh ahh" I screamed continuously.

"You like that love?" Will asked in my ear. That turned me on more.

"Harder baby, please"

"Is that enough? Is that enough Ashy?”

He pounded hard into me from behind.

“Yes yes yes. Ahh right there” I screamed and moaned. I was getting to my peak and he was hitting the right spot.

“I’m going to cum Will. Yes just there, don’t stop” I said repeatedly amidst tears. It felt too good.

“Wait for me baby, hold on a little” he groaned.

“I can’t, it’s too much.” I tried holding it, but couldn’t. One more trust and I felt my body went stiff and the vibrations felt like they went on for days. I couldn’t say a word again or scream out my ecstasy. I felt tremors go up and down my body, and Will also went still, pumping into me hysterically.

“Fuck” he cursed as he fell on the bed.

“You really wanna break up babe?” he asked in a low, turning around to look at me.

“Let me get some air, Will.”

***

Four years ago

I’m walking down the road on my way from school. I’ve had classes since morning, and I am exhausted, but I’m also hungry. So I stop at one of those street-side areas to get something to eat. All I see is bread, canned sardines, and boiled eggs, but I don’t like all these, so I keep going. I’m almost home and I haven’t seen anything I can eat, and my stomach actually grumbles to tell me I’m starving.

I go into one of the stores to see if I can get anything better, but all I end up buying is bread for a hundred frs, chocolate for 50frs, and a sachet of juice for 100frs. I plan to eat that, and then get something else to eat when rested.

After getting home and resting, I wake up hungry and realize places are already dark. This means I can’t get anything to cook, so I settle on getting roasted fish. It’s almost month end and I’m down to my last cash, but I really want to eat something nice. I pray to meet the cheap ones.

When I get to the road, everywhere smells so nice. Women can be seen roasting fish, men roasting different types of meat, and even pork. All around, there are drinking spots, bars, and also nightclubs. This is the center of nightlife in my University area.

I go to my usual spot, Auntie Ti’s (short for Tina); she sells the best fish in this area.

“Auntie Ti” I call her in excitement.

“My baby” she replies with the same energy.

I buy from her regularly, so we are that close.

I look at her tray and realize she’s left with just one fish for one thousand frs. But when I go to point it, I realize someone else is also pointing at it.

“I took that first” I quickly say.

“I don’t think so” he replies.

“I think so” I reply back.

“It’s fine, they are countless others. I’ll wait.” That is when I realize we are not pointing at the same fish.

“Auntie Ti please wrap this up for me,” I tell Auntie Ti.

“Ohh, we weren’t even pointing at the same thing” he laughs.

“I don’t like it big,” I say, suddenly getting defensive.

“Oh okay, noted” he replies, smiling at me. And that is when I realize what he is thinking.

“Eww, I was talking about the fish” I retort in disgust, smiling.

“I don’t recall saying I was thinking otherwise” he replies.

I just roll my eyes at him and decide to keep quiet.

Auntie Ti gives my fish in a black plastic and I pay her and turn to leave, but I only take two steps before someone is hovering over me.

“Hey,” it’s the guy from earlier. I look up at him.

“I’m Will, or William or however you want to call it” he blabbers. I give him an inquisitory stare.

“I’m William, Will for short,” he says. I just laugh.

“Okay Will, short for William, what do you want?”

“Your name”

“Just my name? That’s all?”

“For now, yes”

“Ash,” I tell him.

“Ashy,” he says.

“Ash” I correct him.

“I prefer Ashy,” he says. I roll my eyes at him.

“Can you excuse me now?” I demand.

“Can I have your number?” he asks, smiling suspiciously. I actually laugh.

“You said you wanted just my name, Will,” I say.

“I know, but please can I have your number?”

That is how I find myself giving my number to this charming boy.

I take a motorbike to get home, and on my way, I feel my phone vibrate, but I cannot check it because it’s not safe.

When I’m safe in my room, with the door locked, I check my phone, and it’s a message from Will.

Hi, it’s Will, checking to see if you reached home safely.

This actually makes me smile; it's been long since someone checked up on me.

I’m home safe, thanks. I reply.

Almost immediately, I get a reply from him.

Not going home until later, but I’m safe, thanks for asking.

I’m about to reply when my phone rings. I check the caller ID and it's Ben, my boyfriend. Way to spoil the mood, Ben.

“Hello,” I greet.

“Babe, how are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m okay,” I reply.

“You don’t sound okay,” he says in a worried tone.

“That’s because I’m hungry, and actually need to eat”

“Okay babe, call me when you’re done”. And the line goes dead.

There’s a message from Will.

Sleeping?

No, was on a call. I reply.

Okay, love.  He replies.

Don’t call me that. I protest.

Okay, Ashy.

Yes, better. I say.

Okay, Ashy. Lemme leave you to eat then; will call you in the morning.

Okay.

Goodnight Ash.

Goodnight William.

***

I had called Will so we could have a conversation, but before we could conclude, our desires took over. I loved him so much, but I couldn’t do long distance, it wasn’t something built for me. 

“I love you Will, and you know that. But I can’t do long distance, you know that.” I tell him in all sincerity.

“But we can make it work, you know I’ll soon join you there,” he said.

“It’s not certain, and I can’t really be waiting for something I’m not even sure about”

“But you love me baby, and that’s all that should matter. Why does distance have to be a barrier in our love?” he inquired.

“You I have needs, and I’ll feel totally guilty if I ever cheated on you. It's better we call it off” I protested.

“Love, please. You know I love you, don’t do this, please” he pleaded with me. I wanted to see reason, wanted to tell him it would be alright, but even I knew that was impossible with me.

“Will…”

“You’ve automatically stopped calling me babe? It’s just Will now?”

“I’m trying here, please understand”

“Okay, what of what I suggested?” he asked.

“I’m not having sex with another person when I have a boyfriend Will” I immediately ended that thought.

“What do you want me to do Ashy?” He was close to breaking down, and it was killing me, I could see the moisture in his eyes.

“Will”

“Ashy please”

“Will” I got down from the bed. I could feel my tear drops as they ran down my cheeks.

He followed me and wiped my tears.

“We can make this work baby. I can wait. I love you, Ash.” That broke me.

That tears started all over again and this time he joined me.

After what seemed like ages, we were both calm.

“I better get going, your mum will soon be home,” he said as he let go of me and headed for the door.

“I’m sorry babe,” I told him.

The look he gave me haunted me for over a year.